To not want a stranger at Christmas?

[Oneeyedreindeer]

My mother and brother were due to come to my house for Christmas. I am married with 3 DC, one of who is a young baby. Last week he randomly said he has a friend from abroad coming to stay for a month and if I don’t invite him he will be alone on Christmas Day.

i explained I don’t want a stranger there and it changes the dynamics with small children/breastfeeding etc. he is insisting I could meet the friend beforehand. He is like a dog with a bone and won’t drop it and keeps bringing it up/poor friend will he all alone etc etc. I’ve been clear that if he can’t come as he needs to be with his friend that’s fine and now I feel very mean indeed. But AIBU? I just think it would be very awkward indeed and I do also think there’s an element of my brother wanting to park up for some free/food drink with his friend - he suggested bringing his games consoles “for DC to play” although DC are 4 and under.

@KettrickenSmiled 😂😂😂😂

YOU'VE invited him. That's different @SnowStupid

OP you are not being unreasonable at all. Ignore everyone saying otherwise.

I'm fine thank you, apart from work telling me to leave my nice comfy bed.

Feed a baby in the bathroom in your own home? Where exactly, sitting on the toilet?

Why is a woman with a small baby’s comfort IN HER OWN HOME being deprioritised in favour of some bloke who has decided to go on a solo holiday during a scheduled and well published annual cultural holiday?

So your brother plans to take over your living room, set up his console(s), and sit gaming with his friend all day while you serve them Christmas food and drink at regular intervals? As well as juggling your own 3 children, including breastfeeding baby? All while your mother smiles indulgently at her darling precious boy? Fuck, no.

Inviting a stranger of your choice to join you because you want to is one thing, but this would be pandering to a cocklodger in the making. Well done for standing your ground, OP. Your brother should be laying on Christmas at his home for his guest - and all of you.

Some of these responses! Why do so many women have such low expectations of men?

Who's to look after the older kids when mum excuses herself about 10 times a day to hide in the bedroom? Her brother and the stranger? Ludicrous.

No. Her brother & her husband.
You know - these random guys who are the DC's uncle & dad.

This isn't a response about breastfeeding territory btw.
It's a response about your ludicrous belief that men can't be expected to look after children.

Grown men don't die or self destruct if they have to spend a day on their own and maybe cook their own lunch/

Nobody lays the table due to the ages of the children but DH clears up

On what planet would I excuse myself to feed my baby in my house?! 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

if i felt the need to do that in front of my mother and my brother I wouldn’t be having them over either - fuck that.

OP, you don't owe your brother any excuse or explanation, also don't invite him for Boxing Day to make up for your come of not having him hijack your dc's xmas but do something you want to do, or say you will all pop over to his for a cuppa and chat on Boxing Day, see if he likes the idea of this.

He would expect me to bring leftovers 100% I am tempted to text him this as an idea for the lulz 😂

this thread has made me feel 100 x better

But he's not a "total stranger" in the sense that he's a random person off the street. He's her brother's friend. Personally I would be wondering if there was more to it, but either way I'd extend the invitation.

Oh for goodness sake

Agree!
Simply tell your brother he can stay with his friend at his house.
This is not your problem at all

Why would anyone start breasfeeding with others in the room anyway?Surrly she’d go to bedroom/bathroom/ other room for that antway!!

just when l thought this thread couldn't get anymore ridiculous and female servile expectant! Yes OP in between rushing around looking after random man and your brother, in order to feed your baby, go and sit in the bathroom to do so! 🙄🙄

Unless there's some huge backstory about the brother being an arsehole etc. that would be different altogether.

The person visiting the country would not be alone if the brother hosted Christmas Day for his family, and you visited on Boxing Day OP.

Before re-reading your original post I had more objections to the consoles being brought to, a lesser issue but still a no-no whenever your brother visits.

Your brother and mother do nothing at all?

MN has now reached peak paranoia.

More to what?

I thought there was plenty to be going on with, what with all the entitlement & engrained expectations. What 'more' could there possibly be?!

My Dsis invited a work colleague, who would otherwise be alone, to ours one Christmas, when my DC were young (2 and 5). None of us had met him before but it was fine. I think i would have felt different if I was bf though.

Yeah. Friendships don't exist, all men are unfaithful AND bisexual, & no two people can share a roof without having sex with each other.

So cute.

female servile expectant!
😂😂😎

This thread is ridiculous. On a site which is meant to be about supporting other women OP has been told
*Welcome a strange man into her own home despite her own discomfort
*To feed her baby in the bathroom of her own home
*To cook for her brother and this random person then deliver it to them, as if they can't cook for themselves?

OP, it's your Christmas too. You are allowed to be comfortable in your own home. It doesn't matter how many people on here would be ok with it, you are allowed to set your own boundaries and decide what you are comfortable with.

It's brothers guest so it's actually his problem, he can either spend Christmas day with you or with his friend.