To not want a stranger at Christmas?

[Oneeyedreindeer]

My mother and brother were due to come to my house for Christmas. I am married with 3 DC, one of who is a young baby. Last week he randomly said he has a friend from abroad coming to stay for a month and if I don’t invite him he will be alone on Christmas Day.

i explained I don’t want a stranger there and it changes the dynamics with small children/breastfeeding etc. he is insisting I could meet the friend beforehand. He is like a dog with a bone and won’t drop it and keeps bringing it up/poor friend will he all alone etc etc. I’ve been clear that if he can’t come as he needs to be with his friend that’s fine and now I feel very mean indeed. But AIBU? I just think it would be very awkward indeed and I do also think there’s an element of my brother wanting to park up for some free/food drink with his friend - he suggested bringing his games consoles “for DC to play” although DC are 4 and under.

When your eldest turns 18 are they going to be banned from having male friends over?

How do you go with tradesmen?

So children will be adults one day and sometimes tradesmen are required.

Therefore let’s invite any old stranger over for family fun! Huzzah!

Why are you the one doing all the hosting/cooking OP? Does your partner/family not pitch in?

Christmas dinner has always been a joint effort here. Everyone helps chop veg, Someone is on Yorkshire duty, someone else does meat etc.

This is the OPs home, not an event and the man is indeed a stranger to her. Do you also expect her to scurry away and breast feed in private because she feels uncomfortable? Or do you think she deserves to relax making dinner for her family?

Sure! I am in AUstralia though so may be a hike . And I insist that all the drivers eat a bacon or sausage sanger or something and have a swim in the pool before leaving in the morning so they are refreshed and good to drive. And I'm a hugger. So you can't leave quietly😁.
Anytime though! We seem to be having one a year. I should have an account with the port-a-loo people.
Relevant to OP once one of my DS brought along a new friend from Chile who was studying here. He was so lovely. Poor sod had to sleep on a cushion in the loungeroom and still thanked me effusively.

Yes, I'd definitely invite him for Christmas dinner, all welcome in our house if alone and if I've enough to go round, it's not a problem at all.

Let your brother spend Christmas with this person and entertain him and provide dinner. He’s trying to push his friend off on you. What’s with people trying to force themselves on unsuspecting people at Christmas? 😂

The daughter from the other story on here was so looking forward to hosting a relaxed Christmas and so is this op. Let people have a peaceful Christmas.

There's more than one idea being discussed on this thread.

I was responding to no way would I have a strange man in my house, especially when my kids were there. I made that clear by quoting it.

That does not mean I think OP should invite her brother's mate around. I responded to that question separately.

Not that hard to follow, is it? No need for sarcasm and hyperbole.

I haven’t read the full thread so…

I wouldn’t. Well I would normally but not with a new baby, I totally get what you said about dynamics when it comes to having a newborn in the house. I wouldn’t like it if I was the guest either.

Maybe this has been addressed earlier but do you think your brother is being so insistent because friend is actually a partner?

Either way I think YANBU to tell him he can stay at his with his friend this year and have a cosy Christmas for two and visit you but not stay over if they like. As you don’t know him friend is his responsibility, not yours.

I would just get on with it. Stick them in another room with the game console and do a good deed. I honestly couldn’t get worked up about this.

Ooo a battle of the bonnets!

I’m saying that to all the pp who have stated that they would be happy to be in the OP’s situation and have the Brother’s friend around.

He
is
a
stranger
to
the
OP
as
she
has
never
met
him!

‘The Brother has vouched for him’ 🤣 What does that even mean!?

OP’s Brother is cheeky and sounds like an idiot.

You seem tense.

I've had strangers for christmas several times when my kids were younger. However, they have been a friend of a sibling. I trust my siblings to know, as much as I would about any of my friends, that the person they are asking to bring is not an axe murderer or a child molester.

It's never been an issue. They have always brought a contribution to dinner (that is how we do it in my family) and gifts. We have always given them a small gift too, as have other family members.

Now my dc are adults, we have had friends of theirs over occasionally if they can't go home for whatever reason.

I would say so long as the brother knows the friend well, it would be nice to invite him. I would definitely say no to the games console though.

So your brother is abandoning his guest? And you are expected to deal with the fallout of him being alone by cooking and hosting him?

No, frankly. Why can't he host Christmas?

Would you like the option to refuse and not be called mean spirited and other names though?

When you say you're not covering up, what do you mean? Do you mean you just whip the boob out, wave it around and then latch on or do you mean you just feed normally, with the possibility of a quick flash of flesh, without using a muslin or similar?

If you're waving the boob around, that's a bit unusual but you do you. If you mean normal feeding, then what difference does it make who is there? They're not really likely to see very much.

I have invited a neighbour who was alone. The OP is being asked to allow her brother to bring his friend who would otherwise be alone. Neither of these situations is equivalent to having a random stranger over. I don’t know what has bitten your arse, but you sound like a knob!

Really? I’m not.

Some pp clearly struggle with comprehension.
The
OP
said
that
she
does
not
feel
comfortable and has explained why.

Step
away
from
the
enter
key

N
O
!

I wouldn't have a problem with this and would have gone to the bedroom to BF if my brother was around anyway
Seems uncharitable not to welcome your brother's friend.

your own earlier post contradicted itself so I'm not sure you're in a position to talk about other people's comprehension levels. Not when you manage to confuse yourself.

Absolutely not being unreasonable.

If some of these Mumsnetters are so relaxed, why don’t you have him over for Xmas? I’m sure OP could send you his details. 🙄