Can't cope with constant intrusion by new neighbour

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

Earlier thread below for context and latest missive from neighbour.

I was not feeling well yesterday and went to bed. When I got up I went out to a friend's house to watch Strictly, a film and chat. I left 2.30am and had to scrape the windscreen. Home in the wee small hours and went to bed.

Neighbour had texted me saying she'd come to ask me to move my car because it was in the way. It wasn't and as I went out it was immaterial anyway.

Today I get another text from her about me allegedly banging my door. I do not slam doors. I arrived home in the early hours and closed the door of course but I don't slam it.

She told me when she moved in that her neighbours slammed the doors. It's odd that the common denominator is her.

I've lived here for years and since she moved here in September I'm anxious all the time.

I think she thrives on attention so I'm not replying to her.

Apart from being considerate with noise what would you do?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4661796-next-door-neighbour-and-normal-volume-of-household-noise-sorry-a-bit-of-a-saga?page=5&reply=122372236

I gave her my number to use in emergencies. She came round in her pyjamas at night and I was mortified and felt guilty. I'd no idea how it would escalate then. I thought that was that. It became clear she was odd when she began over sharing and sending inconsequential texts. There was no reason to block her then just ignore it.

It's all escalated since last weekend.

I've read your previous thread. I really think you may have missed the signals because in fairness the signs seem to have been there from very early on that this wasn't going to be your average neighbourly relationship. Personally I don't give my mobile number to random strangers who only just moved in for 'emergencies'. They don't need my number for anything. I only give my number to people I know, and who need to have it. She was neither. I understand why you did that and It's well meaning perhaps and started with good intentions but In doing that you've inadvertently provided her with a vehicle with which to pester you. All you had to do was ignore her knocking on the door or leaving notes before, but now you're on tenderhooks every time your phone pings as well.

I'm at home watching TV at the moment and been disturbed by thumping bass outside the house that I can hear over the telly. Looked out to see ... my oh-so-quiet neighbour pulling up in the car!!!

Send a message saying she woke you up from a nap with her excessive noise and to knock it off please

Ha ha! I won't, but it'd be good! It's just an illustration of normal household noise and activity. We all do it and she's far from perfect. I took great care to close the door quietly when I got home from a party at 2.30am today.

I moved next door to a woman like this , an out and out bully. She came banging on my door several times about parking. We've only roadside parking , none of which are designated. She moaned that the furniture delivery men were in the spot she likes to use , the work men were parked in the wrong place and so were we. In the end she came to the door one night at 9pm and I told her quite planely to fuck off from my door, I didn't want to hear about parking anymore , she doesn't own the road and it's none of her business where anyone parks and if she came to my door again then I'd call the police. That was back in August and she has never come near my door since. You have to be straight out with these people and set out the boundaries from the start. Other wise they will make your life a misery.

Have you blocked her now, ImJustMadAboutSaffron?

Yes, last week.

I think when you're driving because of the engine noise you usually put music louder so when you pull up and stop it does seem like blasting out to other people but not to you inside the car so I wouldn't take that with too much notice really?

How did you get on with the police visit yesterday?

Block her on all your devices Tell her never to speak to you ever again n matter what via solicitor, keep a detailed diary of events, get a ring doorbell/CCTV
report every single thing to 101

or move
she can't stop as she is mentally unstable

No, it doesn't bother or worry me. That's the point, she focuses on small stuff that others do that are just normal. I've never been aware of my own or neighbours ' movements before this woman moved in.

@whowhatwerewhy I cancelled the visit. I considered it done with for now, they're aware if it kicks off again.

There's now a bird feeding station in her backyard. Currently four pigeons tucking into New Year Eve lunch and my Siamese going bonkers. Going to have to stay inside!

I would not keep your cat in , unless your cat will get injured by chasing birds . If your worried it will set her off it's tough cats chase birds . My DDogs have been going nuts at a squirrel today balked the place down until I let them out . Squirrel soon disappeared no harm done . Bad luck if my neighbour wants to encourage wildlife.

Let your cat out. My cat tries to stalk pigeons and they just laugh at her.

I went away on Monday for a few days and there's no bloody escape! She's pushed a note through my door telling the cat sitter she's parked so close to her car she might scratch it when she leaves. I'm sure she hasn't. It's bloody nuts.

I think at this point I might just actually post her notes back through her door?

Get a big envelope and start filing the notes in case you need them for future reference. It sounds like she had such a bad experience at her previous address that she can't let anything go. Really she needs to move to a detached house in the middle of nowhere with no neighbours for miles!

But thank god you've blocked her now, because it sounds like she'd have been messaging you while you were away!

I thought she should move to a lighthouse but she'd complain about the seals and seagulls!

Have you ACTUALLY TOLD HER to stop bothering you yet though?

Either block or tell her to fuck off.

We've said it a few times OP
You've enough evidence now

You need to take action
Put a letter through her door and keep a copy - or send a text- that states
"Please stop contacting me. I do not want anymore texts, notes through my door nor banging on my door from you or your household. I am finding it upsetting"

I think several of us have said some variation of this earlier.

Keep a copy of that letter and if she continues THEN speak to police who will have a word with her. Believe me she will stop either at your letter or at police popping round to see her. She is harassing over petty things , and police will be interested if she continues. It's not crime of the century but they do like to nip things in the bud so they don't escalate.

It'd be helpful if you make sure you do not respond to any of her messages so it's clear it's a one way unwanted communication and count up how many unwanted communications you have had from her since you stopped engaging (if you did)

Ie in the past 3 weeks NDN has banged on my door twice in x and y dates at a and P times , put 4 unwanted notes through my letter box and 11 unwanted texts. I asked her to stop verbally and sent text asking her to stop on x date at y time- she has since sent me y number of texts (attached) and banged in my door at z time in this date. Video her banging on your door with you saying please go away and leave me alone.

The key is you have to be reasonable and tell her to stop. And do not respond or engage in discussions with her or it becomes two way communication. And you have to continue to be clear.

Leave vacuum cleaner by front door. When she comes round answer the door whilst running hoover. Deny hearing anything. Repeat.