She kept reiterating it was ok if we didn’t go

[Whenwillthissicknessend]

Am I being paranoid?

Christmas mums and kids meet up today, fairly small group, organised by a newish mum. Dd has been not feeling great and I said in the last couple of days that she’d been not that well, but we wanted to come and would try to make it. Other friends in the group saying they were sad she was unwell and they hoped to see us etc.
The mum who organised it just kept saying ‘Don’t worry not to be there’ and saying she didn’t expect us to be there and saying the numbers now were such and such, basically not including us.
Am I being paranoid in thinking she didn’t really want us there?

She may well have intended it in the way you suggested - given what you've said about the other child. There are plenty of people about like that.

However, this is just one incident - I think time will tell whether you were right to wonder about her motives. I would be very mildly wary of her but that's all.

Even if this is all about her not liking you that much, does it matter?

You haven't known her long, maybe she's not keen on you, maybe your kids don't get on that well. Ignore it.

You should not take an unwell child to someone's house just before Xmas. It's not fair to spread illness around the week before Xmas.

You're not being paranoid - she's dropping a polite hint. If it were me I'd be blunter and uninvited you tbf, but she's obviously trying to do it as softly as possible.

Did the child who was also under the weather have a less bad illness? Personally I'd be less bothered by a sniffle, than for example a sick bug. I DREAD sick bugs.

Dont be ridiculous. No-one wants to be ill over Christmas. The selfish people are those who insist on bringing their ill children to places. The same children who will probably be fully recovered by Christmas while the children who end up catching it from them will be ill over the festive period

No. The selfish people are those that expect their phobias catered for. If you are that scared of getting ill before Christmas, stay at home.

@ThisGirlNever

Where do you draw the line with this? Would you let someone with norovirus come round? Scarlet fever? Measles?

We're not talking about any confirmed cases of those illnesses are we? In reality it's a child that has been a bit poorly.

All the hypochondriacs are screeching about 'selfishness' - when in reality it's them who selfishly expect everybody else to cater for their phobias.

If you're that scared of getting a sniffle, stay at home and let the rest of us get on with life.

Keeping a sick child at home isn’t pandering to people’s germ phobia. It’s common sense, parents usually make a judgemental call after assessing their child, and it’s what op decided to do.

Her dd probably wouldn’t have enjoyed it anyway seeing as she was ill.

@ThisGirlNever

We don't know what the illness is. There's plenty of Strep A and Scarlet Fever about which are highly contagious and pretty nasty.

Which the child's friends never caught at school, but will catch at a party (magic!).

I've got to be honest, I'm so sick of this narrative peddled by people that clearly have mental health issues regarding health/germs.

You can't expect the world to cater to your hang-ups.

I'll say it again. If you're that scared of getting ill, stay at home.

@ThisGirlNever

I wouldn't stress too much, with an attitude like yours, I doubt you'll be getting a ton of social invitations so it shouldn't be an issue.

And I certainly don't stress about health/germs, I just try to be moderately considerate of other people. Maybe you should try it.

I’m pretty sure that people with mental health issues such as genuine germ phobia aren’t going to children’s Christmas parties.

Are you suggesting that a host who reassured a guest it’s fine not to come with an ill child is mentally ill?

She basically didn't want the bug to be spread. I'd be dropping the same hint in the same way. No one wants illnesses this close to Christmas.

I think a lot of people paying on this thread have germ phobias / hypochondria and they try to turn things around by claiming others are selfish for not pandering to them.

It's a kid with a minor ailment, who's on the mend, and it's being treated as if it's bubonic plague.

Everyone is sick at the moment, they all get it from schools/nurseries. If she doesn't want to catch a virus she shouldn't organise a party this close to Christmas in the first place! Feel for you OP

This has got silly now. Op and her daughter weren’t barred from the party 😂
The host said it was fine if they couldn’t come.

Hear hear. This is exactly right. The person ranting about selfish people and their so called phobias is probably the sort of person who doesn't give a shit about the 48 hour rule if their dc have d & v and who would still take a child with a contagious illness to a gathering because all the others are selfish for not wanting to catch it 🙄

Obviously they don't want you to bring your sick child who might make the others sick, take the hint! Don't be so selfish!

At least you own it 😂

@ThisGirlNever I'm the furthest thing from a germaphobe; but even I don't agree with taking an ill child to a party so close to Christmas.

I don't blame others for wanting sick people to stay away either.

No one wants to be ill for Christmas and we're cutting it fine now.

You can't be serious? No one wants their kids mixing with sick kids a week before Christmas!

She probably didn't want an unwell child around her or her DC,especially as she has a baby and it's Christmas.
Why would you "try to make it", if uour DD is unwell?