To ask if you expect your family childcare to look after your sick child?

[Diploessence]

If it’s something like covid/ Strep A/ Norovirus?

For general coughs and colds I don’t think it would matter, but for something a bit more nasty, would you expect and call upon your family childcare (e.g your mum) to look after your sick child? Would you be annoyed if they said no?

I wouldn’t ask my mum because she’s vulnerable and wouldn’t want to put her at risk.

Absolutely not. Illness isn’t the responsibility of a childcare ‘provider’, whether that’s a nursery or a family member doing it for free.

No. That's your job!

My mum has offered twice to make sure me and my husband can still go to work but both times she and my dad have both ended up catching whatever my baby has and I've felt awful so have said that we won't do it again. I definitely wouldn't expect it.

I’d try not to ask, but if I absolutely had to I’d make the situation very clear and be fine if they said no.

No I wouldn't. A sick child needs it's mum or dad. No way should I expect any other family or friend to lok after them unless it an SOS situation as in the parent in hospital or something like that. Yabu

No, your child, your responsibility.

What’s the circumstances?

We don’t have childcare but I would never ask anyone to look after my children if they were sick, especially not with those illnesses.

No of course not. If your child is sick, you need to look after them. Not try to palm your responsibility onto someone else.

Not unless it's an absolute emergency.

My lovely MIL is a retired nurse but I still wouldn't inflict a contagious child on her.

It obviously depends - I can't stand when people create threads without giving any information on the scenario at hand and so can't actually get any real answer from anyone.

• Is the childcare so you can work or go on the lash?
• Is the relative vulnerable in any way?
• Is it regular childcare or a one-off?
• Is the relative doing you a favour or do they want to spend time with the child?
• Does the child feel well in themselves?
• Does the child feel better elsewhere or when at home?
• Does the illness disrupt how the childcare usually takes place (i.e. if the relative would usually take them to swimming club but now can't)?
• Do they need to administer medications or seek medical care?
• Are they set up to do so, can they drive etc?
• Is the child contagious? Are other children there (i.e. cousins) who might get ill?

Everyone will attempt to answer but without this information, it's just a shot in the dark.

My DD accidentally gave my mil COVID. We had tested her and she was negative in our defense. Both parents have offered to have her with a normal stomach bug but actual noro I wouldn't risk it.
Strep A is fairly common and being made to be a bigger thing than it actually is

My parents always insisted they should have them rather than DH or I miss work. Obviously I could have said no, but they were very insistent. They were young and fit when DC were small though. I would put my foot down now.

I've asked my mum before when my baby has had fevers that lasted fow a few days, the doctor had said it was viral and none of us caught it, as they didnt seem that ill and it was a lot of time off work

I would never ask for a sickness or diarrhoea bug, as I think it's a horrible thing to inflict on someone else. And I know my parents feel the same way

Recently my child had likely strep and was on the first day of antibiotics and my parents offered to help and I said no as it seems quite contagious

No because we have no local family support so don't have that option. If our dc are sick it's on DP or I to be off work, just the way it is. And tbh I wouldn't expect a family member to take my infectious vomiting child anyway, even if they did live closer, for 2 main reasons: 1) I wouldn't want to infect their entire household as that's selfish, and 2) I know my DD would only want her mum or dad if she felt that bad so the guilt would crush me.

I am a grandparent and have my GD 4 days a week. I would want to have her if she were ill if it lessened the stress on my daughter. I am
hopefully healthy and at 57 young enough to recover from anything I might catch. My priority is my daughter and granddaughters health.

SIL asks MIL (I’m fact I think expects!!) to look after DN’s if they’re ill. Doesn’t matter what with it seems and MIL has been ill from it before.

My DM will be providing childcare for us soon and I said to DH that I wouldn’t feel right asking her to look after DC if they were ill, unless it was something minor like a temperature/ snuggle/ cough etc.

He said that looking after a sick child is part and parcel of providing childcare and she’s not much use to us if she won’t provide it when DC is ill.

I said that’s the wrong attitude and thah asking people to look after your sick child and put their own health at risk is selfish and entitled, but then that just sums SIL up to be honest.

He seems to think all grandmothers should be martyrs like MIL and be prepared to be sick if they’re going to provide childcare.

DF is vulnerable though and so even on just that note I would feel guilty asking.

Trying to see if his view is warped or mine is.

Jesus! He sounds vile

Sorry for all the typos!

He said that looking after a sick child is part and parcel of providing childcare and she’s not much use to us if she won’t provide it when DC is ill.

He seems to think all grandmothers should be martyrs like MIL and be prepared to be sick if they’re going to provide childcare.

Wow.

He said that looking after a sick child is part and parcel of providing childcare and she’s not much use to us if she won’t provide it when DC is ill.

WTF?!

Does he know how nurseries and childminders operate?!

Oh it's a SIL bashing thread? You could've just said so in your OP 😁

This is strictly between you and your mum. If you baby is unwell you obviously tell her and leave the decision up to her.

Much like your SIL does with her mum I expect.

He said that looking after a sick child is part and parcel of providing childcare and she’s not much use to us if she won’t provide it when DC is ill.

What did you say when he said this about your mother??

Only at the point that they weren't contagious, it's not fair to pass the bugs on to other people. Bad enough it spreads through the household.

He said that looking after a sick child is part and parcel of providing childcare and she’s not much use to us if she won’t provide it when DC is ill. ...being a parent and we all have to take time off work to do it.

Fixed that for your DH. 👍🏻