To ask if you expect your family childcare to look after your sick child?

[Diploessence]

If it’s something like covid/ Strep A/ Norovirus?

For general coughs and colds I don’t think it would matter, but for something a bit more nasty, would you expect and call upon your family childcare (e.g your mum) to look after your sick child? Would you be annoyed if they said no?

He can either take advantage of free childcare, and occasionally have to stay home with a sick child* or he can pay throught the nose for childcare and occasionally (more often?) have to stay home with a sick child. His choice.

*except he won't, will he? He'll expect you to always be the one to stay home.

I once got home to find my dad with DS1, the heating turned sky high and them both in their underpants because dad had got fed up of changing both their clothes everytime DS was sick. He hadn't even called me to tell me DS was unwell.

The decision/choice will be different for different people. Neither calls for your judgement.

Single parent here.

I don't "expect" my mum to do anything although she helps out a lot, she can say no at any time as is her right. Sick children are my responsibility and I wouldn't ask her to look after DC with norovirus. She did look after them for an afternoon in the summer when DS1 had chicken pox but I knew she wouldn't catch it. What is more helpful is if I am ill and the kids aren't, I ask her for help, but she is still not obligated to say yes.

Christ no. I wouldn’t even expect them to do childcare when they’re well let alone sick.

A bit of a dodgy tummy - probably not Noro. Projectile vomiting to the point of dehydration and anyone in the house catches it - probably Noro virus or something similar.

probably Noro virus or something similar

Yes - "or something similar", therefore not norovirus.

If you were sending DC to a crèche or childminder, they have sick policies - they would only accept DC if they have something minor, eg sniffle, etc but other illnesses they would have an exclusion policy so you'd have to stay away for 48hrs, depending.

Your SIL and DH both sound like inconsiderate selfish twats. Your DH is incredibly ungrateful that your DM is doing you both this massive favour.

Your husband has not illustrated any respect for your mother in the role of childcare provider. The two of you are expecting her to provide free care and he expects her to do that work under any circumstances.

you should address this now because this attitude has the potential to damage the relationship with your mother. Will he treat her with thankfulness each day or simply place more and more demands upon her?

I'm a lone parent and my Mum helps a lot. She happily looks after sick dc luckily as if I don't go work, I don't get paid! People also really rely on me in my job. My dc see her as a 2nd parent to them so are equally as comfortable with her caring for them as they are me. She's probably more sympathetic then me tbf 🤣. I would only let her look after them while ill for work though, nights out I would cancel.

I'd be telling DH now that he needs to do his half of parent childcare when DC are sick. Sounds like he will expect you and your mum to sort it all out.

And tell him that the joint account needs to pay for things to show appreciation for mum - a holiday in the sun, extra special Xmas/bday presents etc.