Why is it taboo to discuss finances on mumsnet if your considered rich ?

[Hawkins001]

don't want to make this a thread about a thread, but if your earning say around 90k etc, as an example why is it taboo to try to discuss spending priorities in the current climate ?

we live in a capitalist society, and their has always been different levels of wealth across all sectors of society,

So is it a case of everyone has to wait until a certain level has been achieved across society before the rich or perceived rich can discuss spending priorities on mumsnet ?

Just to offer some perspective. Where they live makes all the difference. £90k doesn’t stretch much when you work in London and have kids.

And quality of life is really poor when everything is so expensive. Particularly housing and childcare,

I’m in London and we have a lot, lot less than 90k, as do most people who live in London.

That won't make much difference - it's your choice to work in London - you can only ask for sympathy if you are on minimum wage or close to it. Even as a single parent you'll be declared rich, but you'll be on the same household income as a couple who work full time with a combined income of £78,000 or £39,000 after tax - are they rich?

Which could easily be a nurse and a teacher and they'd be rich according to folk on here - and those bastards never stop moaning about how badly they are paid. Bloody cheek! They didn't know they were rich either I bet!

This is true but it's a question of optionality.

If you live in London and earn £90k and have kids you may feel stretched but you have some optionality. You can scale back if you need to. You might have to go without luxuries, cut back on holidays or take your kids out of private school etc. It's going to hurt for sure and will degrade your quality of life.

But its in no way comparable with people who can't afford to eat or heat their homes and its dishonest to frame it as if it is.

But its in no way comparable with people who can't afford to eat or heat their homes and its dishonest to frame it as if it is. But you can still be suffering financial hardship and not be starving or freezing. WE grew up in financial hardship - we ate and most of the time were warm enough by the fire - did I feel the warm glow of wealth around me - not on your fucking nelly!

And they all seem to be on Mumsnet

It’s not very British to talk about wealth, money and whatnot. It’s a little vulgar, OP.

Again you are being unrealistic on how far 90k gets you because of how much of that goes towards tax and NIC.

Around 30k of that is tax and NICs you think someone can afford private school for their kids on the take home pay of 60k a year in London? Say they have two kids as you say about scaling back on the kids private school fees being an option, that's two thirds of their wage going on school fees, private school fees are not a realistic option in london on 60k take home pay for multiple kids. The family would only be left with 20 grand a year to live on after that, with no help from the state as they are a 'high earner' Not also forgetting rent/mortgages are higher.

I also don't think people are comparing it to people who cant eat or keep their homes warm.
I haven't ever seen that comparison, and I wouldnt agree it is a fair one.

But people can say if their quality of life is going down, there will always be someone worse off than you, it would mean you could never worry/complain because theirs 'someone worse off.'
It's a nonsense.

I have just misused a 'their' that was meant to be a 'there' in my post, I never usually do.
Doesn't make me unable to earn highly it's a simple mistake.
I am on Mumsnet not writing an essay.

People who make fun of people who can't spell or misuse words are never the ones that look clever, after all you never know if people have learning difficulties..

To those saying a salary of £90k isn't much - well it puts you in the highest 5% of earners so to most people it would be a lot! Not necessarily rich but definitely a high salary.

Exactly! So excruciatingly tone deaf.

And people struggle on that. Not the same struggles as someone on less, but struggles nonetheless. When you’re used to your income providing you with a certain lifestyle, which to you is absolutely normal, of course it’s going to piss you off when the cost of living crisis means that it no longer does. Whether you think this constitutes struggle worthy of complaint is irrelevant. People are allowed to speak on their experiences, and you’re not forced to engage if you don’t like it.

I don’t think I’ve seen anyone on a higher income claiming they’re in the same position as someone on less. It’s not their problem if you’re choosing to interpret it as that, and you’re not required to enlighten them to something they’re already well aware of.

@Peacelily38

Again you are being unrealistic on how far 90k gets you because of how much of that goes towards tax and NIC.

I'm completely aware of this. I'm in a relatively high tax bracket myself and it's frustrating. But the key word is "frustrating". I'm not starving or worrying about whether or not I can afford to have the heating on.

It's vulgar and insensitive if you're in this category to compare yourself with someone on benefits or minimum wage. It's just not comparable.

And who is doing this?

How is 90k rich? Did you mean 900k? 90k is comfortable, but that's it.

im living comfortable due to my accident in 2013 got paid out 2017.most is away in a fund for my Ds2 ( he has special needs) so i don't go too mad on spending now my son will need every penny when i'm not here.

Don’t be so ridiculous. Of course it’s rich. Top 5% of income. Comments like this make me despair.

But they’re not comparing themselves to those on less. They’re not pretending to have the same struggles, or to have it worse. That’s your interpretation of it because they’ve expressed any frustration at all.

What is vulgar is thinking every thread on here has to relate to you, and/or going on someone else’s thread and telling them that only your problems are worthy of consideration. If someone’s perception of struggle bothers you then X your ass out the thread. It’s really that simple.

How staggeringly out of touch with normality do you have to be to think that £90k isn’t rich!? It might not put you in the same category as Rishi Sunak or the Kardashians or whoever, but it’s still firmly in the “rich” camp.

Exactly, I have never seen a person on here saying they are on 90k and comparing themselves to people on benefits or NMW.

It's nonsense.

Anyone from any background can have worries and they should always feel like they are welcome on the boards here to speak.

If they can't talk about it in real life, through pride or simply just having no one they can confide in to speak to, they shouldn't be put off over people, ready to jump on them because there are others worse off.

@whumpthereitis

But they’re not comparing themselves to those on less. They’re not pretending to have the same struggles, or to have it worse. That’s your interpretation of it because they’ve expressed any frustration at all.

But again its a question of where you post and how you post.

It's absolutely legitimate for someone on £90k to post, for example: "can I afford private school?" on the education board.

If the same person goes on AIBU and posts: "I'm on £90k and I'm really struggling, can't make ends meet and can't afford private school", it's really tone deaf.

I think people should be able to discuss their finances openly, even if they are relatively high earners, but if you position yourself as struggling when you're on three times the average annual salary it is going to get people's backs up. Not to mention the fact that someone on a carer's wage is unlikely to be able to give someone on £90k meaningful guidance about this. It's pointless and tone deaf to have these conversations without thinking about your audience.

Because it’s relative to your environment, as well as your own perceptions as to what constitutes comfort and wealth. Again though, I don’t think I’ve seen anyone on £90k claim to have it the same or worse as someone on less, so I’m not sure why they need to be told that other people have it worse. Same as people making threads about shitty mothers don’t need someone coming in to tell them to be grateful because they don’t have one at all. Or, you know, someone with an unplanned pregnancy doesn’t need to be told how lucky they are to be fertile.

Having £15000 a year would make you rich in Ethiopia, but anyone going onto poverty threads on mumsnet to bitchplop about checking privileges would be told to fuck off within minutes.

LOL at this. It's not rich by any means.