Sleeping arrangements - fair?

[LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee]

One week stay, is this fair:
Room1 DH and me
Room2 Our two DC (8yo boy/girl)
Room3 MIL and FIL
Room4 My mum
Room5 Sister and her 10yo DD
Room6 SIL, her 9yo DS and 3yo DD

Not great for SIL but am not sure how else we could split the rooms?
The DC all have different sleep patterns so not keen to mix families. Selfishly, our two sleep easily until 8-9am whereas SIL’s 9yo is awake at 6-7 so if he shares with our children they will all wake up early, wake us up and we will all be grumpy for the day.

SIL is saying that my DD could sleep with my mum and then her son could sleep with my son.
Am I really mean for saying no?

Thank you for all the ideas!

To answer a few points:

Nobody is paying, the accommodation has been offered to me/my mum and it is expected that we will plan for room repartition, the same way as we will be in charge of organizing food etc, everybody will help out but we will still be « in charge » if that make sense?

I definitely don’t expect to sleep until 11am during this holiday! However, I know that I am not great if I am woken up at 6-7 every day on holiday which will happen if DS shares with another child than his sister. He can be difficult, and gets overexcited easily so if left in a room with his cousin he will 1) talk endlessly in the evening, 2) wake up as soon as cousin wakes up and for sure one of them will come for me as they will bicker / DS. He is also awful during the day if tired and this will spoil the day for everybody.

My DM is not going to share with an adult, she would be fine sharing with DS, DD or my niece (sister’s daughter) - all the children related to her. This is not her being difficult but she is older, might want to go to bed earlier than me/my sister and I feel like asking her to share with my SIL’s son would just be awkward.

Non siblings boys and girls will not be sharing. Nephew already asked my DD if she wanted to play doctor a year ago when we were all staying together, and from then we all decided it was time to not put boy/girl cousins together if we can avoid it.

Also, the idea of me sharing with one of my DC and DH with the other one seems a bit odd thinking about it. Basically we would still take up 2 rooms but in a configuration we like less just for the principle that « all parents share with a child ». Doesn’t change anything for anybody else, just less nice for us.

I think it's cheeky of her to have an issue with sleeping arrangements considering she's getting a free stay out of you. Keep sil in a room with her kids, she doesn't have to come if she doesn't like it

Why don't your Sister and SIL share a room and put their 3 early rising children together in the other room?

I would assume this isn't a great option because at 10 the sisters dd probably doesn't want to share with a boy? Feels like she would be getting to that stage

They'll be in pyjamas and bed; the 8 year old mixed set are sharing. Can't really see it as that big of a deal for sleeping ... not much different to camping in a tent, really.

Just an idea ... sister and sil could take turns getting up with the 3 early risers that way...

Sister and SIL sharing would also mean my sister is sharing with the 3yo which is not really fair on her.

Yes but the 8 year old is sharing with her brother.

I am assuming that the sil is the OPs sil e.g. her dhs sister, and not the sil to both the OP and her sister. Therefore the 10 year old girl may barely know the 9 year old boy.

I meant your sister and sil in a room together, their 3 children together in the other room.

If the rooms sleep 3 comfortably, your DS could come in with you and your DH and your dd could go in with your mum and that leaves a room spare for SIL to sort out her two DC.

From experience, if you want DC to sleep, they need to sleep in their family unit. If they are with other DC non siblings, they just stay up chattering.

Of course sometimes DC staying in the same room can sometimes be a blessing, particularly if they play well together - less active parenting to do.

Has it occurred to you your SIL (+her children) may be exhausted if the three of them have to share together? Or is it only your (and your son’s sleep) that matters?

Or maybe:
sister and SIL together (if they like the idea)
10yo niece and DD
9yo nephew and his 3yo sister
DH, me and DS
My mum

And if sister or SIL are not comfortable together we switch back to my original plan:
Sister and her daughter
SIL and her two DC
DH and I
Our two DC
My mum

At this point the only ones guaranteed their room together is PILs!

That’s a terrible alternative for everyone except you and your mum.

And your children of course

Exactly.

Why should the grandmother have to have a child in with her??

Does the house belong to your side of the family or SIL, MIL side?
If it's your side of the family offering the free accommodation then you get first dibs on allocating rooms.
So the way you have set it out in your first post should be fine.
The inlaws can't really be complaining if they are getting a free holiday out of it.

Which option? The 1st or second one?
In the 1st I am sharing with DS and DH not sure why you make it sound like I don’t want to inconvenience myself

Your original configuration is fine. If she's not paying and still doesn't want to share a room with her own offspring, she can decline the holiday.

You secured the house through your connections to the owner and are doing the organizing. That alone merits you a private room.

Nobody is paying, the accommodation has been offered to me/my mum

Does this close relative on your mother's side not get on with your sister?

My side. But I’m really trying to not let it play to much into the decision.

From this thread I have a feeling that I am not in the majority in trying to avoid an overtired DS at all costs. Maybe because I am controlling, maybe because he really really is awful when he hasn’t slept enough.

To me it's just as weird your kids sleeping in. Kids should share rooms and you shouldn't be so precious about sleeping in.

We have family members who sleep in really late at it's annoying as our kids end up staying up late and getting tired, so it works both ways.

Why should SIL get a spare room at everyone else's expense?

If there are beds for 3 in her room, she has nothing to complain of. Especially as she's getting a free ride.

He is my godfather. So yes gets on with my sister but doesn’t have a close relationship with her the same day he does with me (my mum). He offered his holiday house when we were meeting up the 3 of us.

Ahh yeh fair enough- my bad, I hadn’t actually understood what you said- read too quickly. Yeh I think that’s a reasonable suggestion.