Sleeping arrangements - fair?

[LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee]

One week stay, is this fair:
Room1 DH and me
Room2 Our two DC (8yo boy/girl)
Room3 MIL and FIL
Room4 My mum
Room5 Sister and her 10yo DD
Room6 SIL, her 9yo DS and 3yo DD

Not great for SIL but am not sure how else we could split the rooms?
The DC all have different sleep patterns so not keen to mix families. Selfishly, our two sleep easily until 8-9am whereas SIL’s 9yo is awake at 6-7 so if he shares with our children they will all wake up early, wake us up and we will all be grumpy for the day.

SIL is saying that my DD could sleep with my mum and then her son could sleep with my son.
Am I really mean for saying no?

I think if it is your house/your holiday home the split is fine. Otherwise this would be fairer

One week stay, is this fair:
Room1 DH and me
Room2 DS9 and DS8
Room3 MIL and FIL
Room4 My mum and sister
Room5 DD9 & DD8
Room6 SIL and DD3

Then:

1. No adult is getting a room entirely to themselves
2. No one has to share with more than 1 person
3. SIL is sharing with her young child who she will need to get up with when they’re awake

Why do you get to decide? Can you involve at least your SIL in the discussion so that it's a joint plan?

So why not share with both your kids then if you don't mind?

Need more info to say what's fair.
I think the sleeping patterns of the children are relevant so I can see the logic in your suggestion.

But your immediate family is getting two rooms and each SIL gets one room for whole family. Are you paying a greater pro rata share for two rooms rather than one?

Also looking at it mathematically it doesn't seem "fair" that one person (your mum) gets a whole room to herself while SIL's room has to accommodate three people. Could SIL share with your mum? Or would that not work because SIL would have to get up and down with her youngest if she's a poor sleeper? Could SIL share with youngest and mum with SIL's eldest?

I can see why SIL is a bit put out but my kids will sleep in until 9 and the idea of them getting up early and grumpy all through Christmas week would be a NO from me too! But if you want to bag a second room make sure you're paying for it.

Are you paying double the amount that everyone else is paying?

We are all invited by an other family member who is not staying with us.

Would the 9 year old really wake up his cousins? I would have thought he was old enough to be told to leave them alone and go downstairs and read or watch TV

Yes, why should your SIL sleep without kids but not your mum?

Surely, easiest is your mum stays with one of your SIL 's children? That way it's 2 to a room for everyone.

I would mix kids and families:
you and dh
pils
mum and sister
sil and 3yo
your 8yo son with 9yo boy cousin
your 8yo daughter with 10yo girl cousin

This is the worst case scenario for me! Both my children will share with another child who wakes up super early.
And all well saying children shouldn’t wake us up, it works at home (they even have breakfast together before waking us up!) but not when on holiday. Plus they are then tired and grumpy during the day. Really.

Assuming each room has two sleeping spaces (twin/double beds), each room should have two people, really.

LondonOx's solution could work neatly, especially if the earliest waking children have clear expectations about what to do when they wake up.

Sister would still have her DD, she would just have one child. So every room has two bodies. I think that’s fair. I think the grandma would probably enjoy sharing with her granddaughter as well, nice bonding! Who cares if your nephew wakes up your son a bit early, they are 9!

Sounds fine to me.

If there is a bed for SIL and her two children in the same room then yanbu.

If one of her kids is on a blow up bed or 3 in a double and there is a spare space in your mum's bedroom then yabu.

What is her logic for her child sharing with your child and moving dd in with gran?

I agree with this arrangement

You might be dreading the noise and confusion but some of the happiest memories of my DHs are house parties where he shared with his cousins, they are really close as adults as a result

Consensus seems to be that you are being mean and selfish.

I agree with the consensus.

I am discussing with my mum. She is the one who suggested the rooms like this and we are trying to think about alternatives.
My mum says she would rather share with a child than with my sister (or with SIL, this would be strange).

Even when ive kept mine in a separate room they have still been kept awake by other peoples kids getting up at the crack of dawn and being allowed to roam the
House being noisy and thunder up and down the corridors screeching. So i worry that you may choose this hill to die upon and then still have the same issue anyway.

In that case, easiest thing would be to put one of SIL's kids in with your mum, job done!

Maybe it is us being a bit odd but even if we are going on holiday together, my mum sharing with SIL’s DC wouldn’t feel right, they are not related and are not that close.
we all get along well though

If you're adamant that the children should share within families, could she share with sils son? They're not related, sure, but they must get on well enough if you're all on holiday together.

I am discussing with my mum

I’d be pissed off if I was the SIL or your sister and plans were being made that I had no say in! Why don’t you involve them all in the decision making?

Who has invited you? You have both sides of a family which is more of an unusual combination.

I agree with this, you’re being a bit weird about the hour different bedtimes, just send them to bed earlier or do a big talk about sneaking out quietly if you wake up first. Who is to say they wouldn’t just wake you all up by walking around the house even if they were in seperate rooms? I feel like you’ve made a plan in your head and now being very rigid but the cost to you of making a plan that makes everyone happy and might result in some lovely cousin memories is very small!