Sleeping arrangements - fair?

[LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee]

One week stay, is this fair:
Room1 DH and me
Room2 Our two DC (8yo boy/girl)
Room3 MIL and FIL
Room4 My mum
Room5 Sister and her 10yo DD
Room6 SIL, her 9yo DS and 3yo DD

Not great for SIL but am not sure how else we could split the rooms?
The DC all have different sleep patterns so not keen to mix families. Selfishly, our two sleep easily until 8-9am whereas SIL’s 9yo is awake at 6-7 so if he shares with our children they will all wake up early, wake us up and we will all be grumpy for the day.

SIL is saying that my DD could sleep with my mum and then her son could sleep with my son.
Am I really mean for saying no?

So is it a relative of your side, not someone SIL is related to at all. I honestly think she should just appreciate being invited then. It sounds very generous. I think it's a bit cheeky that she expects your mum to share with a child so she can sleep child free.

I don't think there's anything wrong with your set up and if her kids are early risers she can stop them waking the whole house, if her kids are split into two different rooms with other kids then they're going to wake everybody up at 6am. I could not manage that, DS doesn't get up till 9ish, he and I would be mardy af being woken 2-3hrs early every morning!

Would the three year old be in SIL's bed and 9 year old on the sofa bed?

Maybe in laws shouldn't come at all? Just your side of the family and meet up later with the in laws. That's starting to sound like least work.

She could choose between a double bed + sofa bed or two single beds + sofa bed.

He offered his holiday house when we were meeting up the 3 of us.

Why did you invite your in laws at all?

I don't understand why SIL doesn't want to share with her OWN children? Thats bonkers. Im always super happy to be close to my dc when sleeping in an unfamiliar house. Doesn't matter what the arrangement is for anyone else, im close to my kids..

The OP doesn't want to sleep with hers either - is that bonkers?

The holiday will definitely go ahead, we all get along well, have been on holiday together (and are still talking!)

Nobody will be furious regardless of what we suggest for the rooms, the idea is to work out what we will do in advance to avoid chaos when we arrive with children running from one room to the next, be able to prepare the beds before everybody is there etc. Yes we are a bit anal and overthink everything - this is how we are 🤷🏻‍♀️

We can’t sleep the 4 of us together, and yes given a choice I’d like to sleep with DH - I’m sure most married women would, no?

It seems to me your son and your sil’s son, being cousins of nearly same age, would love to share a room and hang out together on holiday. My son loves being with all his cousins of various ages. Your sil understandably will have a much easier time with the 3 yr old and her older son will get to be with someone his own age. I don’t understand your argument, a one hour difference in wake up times. Just tell your nephew to let your son sleep an extra hour or else he will have a grumpy tantrum 😂

Do you not like your sil? Or is there something else? It’s hard for me to believe that your 8 yr old son would rather share a room with his 8 year old sister instead of with his 9 year old cousin. However, if you have safety qualms and don’t feel you can articulate those concerns, then that is something else entirely. Do what’s best for your son obviously.

Absolutely! But equally I think most single parents would rather not be in with two kids. I think both are understandable.

8 til 9 is hardly sleeping in, though. It's not late by any sensible standard.

You haven't heard my DH snore! I think I would take a child over that 😂

Yes they would. And most single adults like to sleep in their own room, no? Or are single adults not allowed to have an opinion on who they share with.

Honestly nobody other than your family have a good option here, I am just baffled as to why you invited the in-laws when there clearly is not enough room for them.

Stay at home

To be frank, a week with the inlaws probably a mistake.
Try to eat out all the time. Or get takeaways.
The provision of three meals a day will be an absolute 'mare.
All this 'mine don't like peas' 'do yours eat pasta?' Man oh man.
Then one set of kids being handed out a plate of toast 10 mins before dinner, then they all want it.
Not to mention the 'oh we don't have chocolate cereals/fizzy drinks/coke in our house. Do you mind not bringing any'.
Or 'ours aren't allowed watch that do you mind turning that off please?'
3 days maybe but a week. Unless it's a beach place or there's a plan to do daytrips every day.

There seems to be a disconnect between the chummy, all mates love-in you present your family as with you going against your sil's request.

Op

specifically how do you and your SIL get on?

this sounds really good to me. I must say your SIL's idea would probably have been the one I'd have come up with but I think your reasons for not wanting that are totally fair and reasonable.

I’m guessing that your two children go to bed considerably later than the other children?

what fun.. 9pm and young children still up whilst my children tucked up at 7pm!

this holiday has… tense written all over it!

This

So is it a relative of your side, not someone SIL is related to at all. I honestly think she should just appreciate being invited then. It sounds very generous. I think it's a bit cheeky that she expects your mum to share with a child so she can sleep child free.

I agree. The SIL is being quite cheeky.

Oh I missed that. Yeah, SIL is taking the piss. She can get up with her own kids and stop them disturbing everyone else on her free holiday.

This is easily solved by putting your children and the 9 yo tigger and you being less precious about getting up early - thanks what happens with kids

YANBU, The home was offered to you and your mother, if your SIL doesn’t like the arrangements she doesn’t have to come imo