Sleeping arrangements - fair?

[LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee]

One week stay, is this fair:
Room1 DH and me
Room2 Our two DC (8yo boy/girl)
Room3 MIL and FIL
Room4 My mum
Room5 Sister and her 10yo DD
Room6 SIL, her 9yo DS and 3yo DD

Not great for SIL but am not sure how else we could split the rooms?
The DC all have different sleep patterns so not keen to mix families. Selfishly, our two sleep easily until 8-9am whereas SIL’s 9yo is awake at 6-7 so if he shares with our children they will all wake up early, wake us up and we will all be grumpy for the day.

SIL is saying that my DD could sleep with my mum and then her son could sleep with my son.
Am I really mean for saying no?

How are the costs being split?

In your original plan would you be paying for 2 rooms and your SIL 1 room or is it being split evenly so your SIL would be subsidising your kids room?

I mean this is better.

Also I agree that the 8-10 yos don’t need an adult to get up with them - they can pour cereal and put the tv on.

But being woken at 6 or seven isn't really unreasonable or too early when you have children is it
well, it is nearly 11am and I am typing this from my bed 😅 just to say my sleep is very important to me lol
joke aside, I am a considerate person, I promise, and this is why I am asking for opinions.

@LostMyUserName how does that make any sense? Why should op dh share with someone's else's child. Why should he give up his right to share with his wife just because the others don't have partners with them?

It makes total sense that op and her dh have a room to themself.

I don't see what's wrong with sil sharing with her two children after all they are her children! Why should any other adults need to share with her ds.

The kids should share.

The suggestion of having your children in with you and your mum sounds fairest, then no adults with children have a child free room iykwim.

I also think it would be fair for the adults to take turns getting up with the children, so that sil gets a few lie ins.

Can you pop all the 8-10 year olds together I'm thinking they'll be excited and rush about and be fairly tired so should sleep well regardless. I'm sure they'll get to sleep fairly late, plus remind the wake up early one that he needs to let the others sleep and he's only being allowed to sleep in with the others on the basis he doesn't wake them till after 7.30 - and see how it goes?

You share with your mum, and your two DCs go in with their Dad?

As others have said, I think you need to relax expectations of bedtimes, routines, lie ins etc on a big family holiday you just have to go with the flow a bit more and suck it up.

If any child goes with your mum it should surely be your Dd? Then the boys go in together and that sorts it. Or sister’s Dd but that doesn’t help anything.

She surely can’t share with an unrelated 9 yo boy or a three year old?

All sensible solutions do put the two boys together I think.

I think if it's that important that your children aren't woken up til 9am (which I feel is veering on unreasonably late in a shared cottage!) you should have them in with you.

Your own house fine. But it isnt. Why do you get to call the shots.

How you've worked it out does make sense. But does also seem unfair on SIL. It wouldn't bother me personally in the slightest and would want to share with my DC but everyone is different.

This sounds best

Could you put all the boys in 1 room and all girls in another? Then sil and sister could have their own rooms.

Whoops.

if I was expecting SIL to sleep in same room with her 2 kids I would give her the best room/biggest/the one with a view.

You seem to be putting a lot of stipulations:

No sharing for your kids
No unrelated kids with your mum

Why don't you then share with both of your kids? It sounds like the rooms are big enough

It sort of sounds like you aren't willing to compromise on your comfort at all

Yanbu,your mum should not have to give up her privacy to enable your selfish sil to offload her own dc to get more sleep.

For me it would depend which children would enjoy sharing with each other. Holiday sleepovers with cousins are half the fun.

I don't get why people are suggesting OP's mum share a room instead of SIL?? She doesn't have any kids with her, she should get her own room!

This

Do you think sleep is not impotent to anyone else then?

6/7 is not early. And it’s one week.

Yes it’s unfair. Your discussing it with your mum, and the solution just so happens that your mum has ended up with the best option (a room to herself) which suggests to me that your are looking at what is best for yourselves not what is best for the group.

there should be two individuals to a room. Not one room with one person in and one room with three in.

your SIL room is going to be very cramped