Sleeping arrangements - fair?

[LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee]

One week stay, is this fair:
Room1 DH and me
Room2 Our two DC (8yo boy/girl)
Room3 MIL and FIL
Room4 My mum
Room5 Sister and her 10yo DD
Room6 SIL, her 9yo DS and 3yo DD

Not great for SIL but am not sure how else we could split the rooms?
The DC all have different sleep patterns so not keen to mix families. Selfishly, our two sleep easily until 8-9am whereas SIL’s 9yo is awake at 6-7 so if he shares with our children they will all wake up early, wake us up and we will all be grumpy for the day.

SIL is saying that my DD could sleep with my mum and then her son could sleep with my son.
Am I really mean for saying no?

I'd agree @GonnaGetGoingReturns chuck all the older kids in together, it would be a great learning experience for them all on compromising! If it doesn't work out various dcs cab choose to go in with lwrents the next night. 3 yo goes in with SIL .

I'm assuming here that SIL is your DH's sister, as opposed to your brother's wife?
And this is a freebie from your family - she's not paying for accommodation at all

I'm inclined to say in that case that she should just accept the proposed arrangements tbh. You have kindly invited her, the room has adequate beds and space...

What, precisely, is the issue of the two boys sharing a room?

Does SiL agree that's not a good solution?

Lwrents = parents obviously 🙄

The room’s comfortably fit 3 but not 4

So to clarify - so the rooms have three beds? I thought your earlier post suggested a double in each and also a pull out couch so SIL would be sharing a bed with one of her kids

My 3 year old is awful to share a bed with and my 6 year old not a lot better

I don't understand what's the problem. Your SIL can complain all she wants but your allocation of rooms are logical. She probably wants to have a lie in instead of getting up with her DD at 6 am.

Unfortunate but her responsibility as a parent. Not yours.

If SIL has such an issue with sleeping arrangements, on a trip she’s not paying for, then she always has the option of not going, or booking alternative accommodation.

Op

I am going to take a punt that you and your SIL aren’t exactly besties?!

but then why are MIL and FIL allowed their own room? why make it OP and DH share with 2 kids who can share with each other?

just to prevent anyone having sex lol

Tbh. if I were the SiL I'd decline the charitable invitation.

Mostly because I'd be concerned as to what other 'restrictions and rules' would be enforced throughout the stay for the convenience of the OP's immediate family unit and her mother, no matter how ludicrous those 'restrictions and rules' appear to those who have spent time at large, extended family gatherings where children were in the mix.

^ This. If you pay, you make allocations to rooms. If your SIL disagrees, she can find her own accommodation. Shouldn't be a problem or drama.

Notwithstanding my comment above, the simplest solution would be 9yo grandson being in with his grandparents.

However, I suspect there may be an 'issue' in OPs mind as to the 9yo sharing with anyone but his mother but she hasn't clarified that as yet.

I think it's unfair that in laws get to share a room. You should work out a system where every adult is sharing with at least one child.

Why should the grandparents get dumped with any kids? How is that fair?

I really do not get it. You have them, you raise them and if your kid is an early riser find a way around it if you want more sleep. I used to take mine into the bed with my and give them a tablet or phone to play with while I slept. Jesus the outsourcing of the parenting is maddening.

god that sounds like the least fun holiday ever :D

Agree.

I can already see the arguments around the children waking up early...

Mine are early risers (5:30-6:30ish) and we have done this sort of family trip. We try to keep them quiet but that's not always realistic and personally 7:30/8 am is my limit for that, I feel like anyone who signs up for sharing a house with a 3 year old for a week needs to compromise too.

I can't see any thing wrong with the arrangement. As a parent (on my own) I would expect to have my children in with me if there are 3 beds available in the room. As a grandparent (your mum) I would be a bit peed off to have to share with a grandchild. Sometimes I think people like to make a fuss just for the sake of it!

I think your original plan is good. Each new family unit shares with themselves. You get a room without your twins as you and your h are the only adults coming as a couple.
I'm single and have a similar gap with my two as your sil does, though they are a few years older, and we'd be fine to share like this. Especially if it's a free holiday.

That said, for family enhancement, and obviously it depends how well the kids get on, it might be fun for the older kids to share with their same-sex cousin.

Have the kids expressed an interest?

Granny gets her own room. Obviously.

I think OP does need to change expectations of morning. If I were SIL I would want to be just me and 3yo so I could put her to bed quietly and earlier than the other children as she would likely get up earlier. A 3yo being exhausted and grumpy is much more tiring for the parent than an 8yo.

And I think learning to share rooms with cousins is really important, so all the children over 8 are completely able to do this.

If your children are NT, and could share but would just get up earlier, you're expecting other parents to suck up a harder parenting job so you can have an unchanged routine.

Expecting a lie in til 9 with primary age children is really pretty unusual!!

Because senior people need their own room to get a good sleep instead of sharing it with grandkids that often wake up at night. They did their parenting, more than fair they can have a good rest in their senior years.

Exactly!

so to be clear I think the option where boy puddings & girl cousins share and your SIL has just the 3yo is the best. No grandparents should have to share.

cousins! Pudding is an unexpected Xmas predictive text...

You do seem to have the best deal here, being the only parents that get their own room, I trust you are paying double to reflect this. I haven’t come up with a better plan though, other than maybe you need bigger accommodation if adults want their own room.