To think we’ve been brainwashed over Christmas.

[FabYuleLous]

I’ve noticed on MN, and in real life, that people get very upset if their Christmas does not resemble a supermarket advert with 20 people, all generations, around a massive feast, all having a super time.

Seriously, how many of us have families like this. If you got 20 family members round a table, would it really be like that.

I know if I got 20 round a table of our family, it would look like this: DB1 being in a mood, as his life hasn’t turned out like my other DB. Me crying in the kitchen as I’d been manipulated into hosting and doing all the work and expense. PIL being PA to me, no present and criticising the meal and SIL giving me filthy looks throughout. On top of this my DC moaning that we have loads of people round.

I don’t think I’m abnormal.

So, seriously. Why are are all buying into this 20 people round a table, with a Hogwarts spread, bullshit?

Just to add. This year I’ve actually gone to the trouble of reading up about our traditions and customs around Christmas, and learnt things I didn’t know. We celebrate it blindly, and don’t even know why we are doing things we do.

And the let us not forget Prince Albert's contribution to the traditional British Christmas.

The only part of Christmas that matters is that it is a Christian festival but, sadly, so many people forget that.

Of course they don't forget it. They just choose to celebrate Christmas in a non-religious way because they are not Christians but have grown up with the festival being part of their cultural heritage. Just as I imagine that many other festivals in different countries and cultures around the world which started off as religious ones (or pagan ones piggy-backed by religions) continue to be widely celebrated even after many or most people no longer believe in the deities.

yes you are very blunt. I was trying to be supportive.

We used to all go to my mums for Christmas. I have 5 siblings and there are numerous grandchildren. Probably 18-20 at the dinner table, little kids crying, dinner never ready until a ridiculous hour, arguments over who was supposed to be doing what. Honestly it was absolute chaos. Then the whole rigmarole of packing all the presents up that we’d taken there to open, putting tired kids in the car and having to drive home. About 8 years ago we decided to do Christmas at home and if anyone wants to visit Boxing Day or after they can. So much less stress!

Or seat 20 people in the living room.

Only 7 or 8!!

This year it's just me and my mum. I'm divorced, she's widowed, I don't have kids - couldn't have them.

Christmas can be really hard.

The only part of Christmas that matters is that it is a Christian festival but, sadly, so many people forget that.

It's a pagan midwinter festival actually. Hence the lights and the holly etc

Reasonablereasonableness It would in our family, the year I was really stressed doing a Masters and the year I had horrible morning sickness I was just expected to turn up to my parents house and get fed.

Yep. Jesus wasn't even born in December. That was one of the earlier examples of cultural appropriation. 🤣 There's always been a midwinter festival for many thousands of years. Some people renaming it for their religion doesn't mean other people are no longer allowed to celebrate it as has always been the tradition.

I think religions started as a way for the rich and powerful to distract, manipulate and control the masses to act a certain way. Christmas is just an extension of that.
I never did the big extended family meal at Christmas (my mum’s family is too big and my dad’s was too far away) and didn’t even know people did that until my 20s.
I think it’s really good people get time off work together, but I wish it was in summer when the weather was better.

Growing up, I spent Christmas with my mum, my auntie, two cousins, uncle and gran. Not quite 20 people but still 4 adults and 3 children, it was loud and noisy and great fun. Now we alternate every 2 years and still have Christmas with my mum, uncle, auntie, two cousins. My gran is no longer with us and I now bring along DH and DS (as of next year DS2). At mils, it is just DH, DS, MiL and myself as bil never wants to come and mil/fil are divorced. I find it quite boring really (Xmas goes up the 24th, we swap presents, have homemade pizza and that's it really) but of course would never say that out loud as I try my best to respect it's just done differently and there are aspects I like (such as the board games). But even DH prefers our mad family Christmas at my family. This year, it's just me, DH and DS in our own home due to me being 35 weeks pregnant and not wanting to travel but still, I'm looking forward to it! It'll be nice to just be at home and spend the days baking and playing with DS/spending time with DH before the baby comes.

And the let us not forget Prince Albert's contribution to the traditional British Christmas

The Christmas tree? Apparently, it wasn’t him that introduced them to Britain, it was Queen Charlotte, also German, around 1800.

I completely agree. Most people seem to think this about life in general and especially social events I. E. Family dinner should look like a group of incredibly beautiful Italians sat outside having a Mediterranean feast with various chubby infants adorably eating bowls of rigatoni or whatever. Or American style Martha Stewart affair with pecan pie, grits and Gravy etc

Instead they're miserable in the rain in Milton Keynes or wherever

Nope just us and the kids. When MIL was alive, she spent most with us.

We have a very lovely relaxing day.

It’s an ancient festival intended to cheer people up in midwinter - it pre dates Christianity. Doesn’t matter at all how many you are surely just nice to have break from the norm at a dark time of year however you spend it.