To think we’ve been brainwashed over Christmas.

[FabYuleLous]

I’ve noticed on MN, and in real life, that people get very upset if their Christmas does not resemble a supermarket advert with 20 people, all generations, around a massive feast, all having a super time.

Seriously, how many of us have families like this. If you got 20 family members round a table, would it really be like that.

I know if I got 20 round a table of our family, it would look like this: DB1 being in a mood, as his life hasn’t turned out like my other DB. Me crying in the kitchen as I’d been manipulated into hosting and doing all the work and expense. PIL being PA to me, no present and criticising the meal and SIL giving me filthy looks throughout. On top of this my DC moaning that we have loads of people round.

I don’t think I’m abnormal.

So, seriously. Why are are all buying into this 20 people round a table, with a Hogwarts spread, bullshit?

Just to add. This year I’ve actually gone to the trouble of reading up about our traditions and customs around Christmas, and learnt things I didn’t know. We celebrate it blindly, and don’t even know why we are doing things we do.

Even as a kid I hated the big christmases, which were noisy and chaotic and there was never anywhere to sit comfortably, with kids ended up relegated to a kids table etc

Now I'm an adult, not having to do that every year brings me far more joy!

Also everyone pitches in. We all contribute not like there is one martyr. I don’t lift a finger on Boxing Day both bils take over.

Cue everyone here telling you about their wonderful Christmas with all their extended family. Lucky them. Something I could only dream of.

I always think those ‘Xmas spreads for 20’ on the table must be going cold.

And then that the desserts, which for some reason are sitting next to the sprouts, will be melting.

Well if people say your set up is a nightmare it’s fair enough to respond!

We have about 12 on the 27th every year and it's wonderful but then we all get on.

I don't think Christmas needs to be stressful. It'll just be me, DP, DS2 and my dad this year on Christmas Day then DP is taking the 2 year old to see his side on Boxing Day while I relax and spend more with my dad. I'm really looking forward to it!

Wr got round the food going cold by laying it all out on the side and people help themselves like a hotel. Worked brilliantly

I've done "that" Christmas once. It involved exBIL coming to stay with his family of four (in our small two bedroomed house), and my exPIL finding out and inviting themselves, ignoring the fact that there wasn't room for them. I spent two days in the kitchen and clearing up after them, with none of them lifting a finger to help. Almost all of this hosting falls on women

Fuck. That. No matter what the adverts tell me.

Loved our big family Christmas get togethers as a kid (each gran hosted, 12 on boxing day and 10 on New Years Day). Now as an adult I can see the family tension underlying it all. I'd love to have another of those gatherings but my grandparents aren't here any more, DM wouldn't host and won't come to me, Dh has no family.

We'll enjoy our quiet Christmas anyway.

Who says Christmas is about families getting together? First I’ve heard of it.

Ads are deliberately made to sell items or ideas, survey people must realise it is nor reality

Teachers have enough to do so this is not a genuine suggestion but maybe there should be a class in school on not believing what you see and stop being lazy actually engage you brain and think for yourself

Washing tablets ads usually have spotless families, no wringing at the dinner table, kids bedrooms are spotless, and older children are sitting around knitting or creating a masterpiece sculpture in butter not glued to fortnite

None of the above is us, we just do whatever we do, we are perfectly able to realise ads are not reality and real life is messy and crazy, it is not rocket science

We just,do

Can I also just say - the imagine being homeless at Christmas bullshit annoys me - being homeless, lonely, cold, hungry is awful - not just at Christmas.

Yep! Heaven forbid some of us come from extended family cultures that exist independently of advertising.

I'm so glad I belong to a religion which doesn't celebrate Christ

How's life under that stone?😂

Christmas is just lies to support capitalism!

It's obscene, it's wasteful

Smiling families, bountiful feasts!

The adverts don't show all the packaging that ends up in landfill

Or show people literally dying of cold because they can't afford to heat thier houses, whilst thier neighbours decorate the outside of thier houses with lights, lazers and inflatable reindeer

It's all fucking madness!

But hey ... if you don't indulge now they can't sell you self loathing in the new year when diet plans and weigh loss products will be shoved down our necks!

I find the whole thing crass and obscene tbh

Everyone I know wants to have as few as possible to cook dinner for whilst still having a nice time. 6-8 is perfect. Any more is a hassle.

I have never lived in a house which could accomadate 20 people, certainly not all in the same room they just wouldn't fit. Come to think of it, I've never lived in a house with more than 6 dinning chairs.

Supermarkets need to sell those gigantic turkeys!

It's not tv who is doing that imho.
I just don't get why brits have to have the Christmas done in the most stressful way possible tbh and why it's just 1 day when Christmas is 3 + the period around.

Of course it will be stressful if you try to stuff literally all relatives, all traditions, presents and food into like 8 hour window!

That would be a shit Christmas, you can do that any Sunday.

I like hosting and having everyone there. We don't have 20 for Christmas, but we do on the 27th and I kist borrow an extra table from the local village hall.

We have never had an extended family Christmas as people are widely scattered. I have 4 siblings and none will be here this year. Sis usually comes but is having Christmas on her own in London this year. Dd2 is having Christmas with her partner so it will just be dh,me and 2 adult kids plus elderly mum. Thats plenty for me. I hate crowded houses and lots of noise.
As a pagan I will enjoy celebrating the Solstice on my own just as much too.

This has been the case for years.

If people are daft enough to be either upset or manipulated by adverts, that’s their problem.
The celebration of Christ’s birth involves a church service at midnight on Christmas Eve and/or on Christmas morning.
Anything else - family dinners, turkey, presents, a tree - are optional extras.
If you enjoy a big gathering, have one. If not, don’t. Simple.
Personally, I enjoy carol singing round the village, going to the Watchnight service, laughing at the cute Sunday school kids doing their nativity play in church, and having family time with my lovely DDs and their partners. I do a lot of cooking in advance, and everyone mucks in to help on the day. It’s whatever you want to make it.

We have a small family especially since my lovely dad and mum in law passed away. There's just me, Dh, ds and my mum on Christmas Day. I see dsis, dB and dh's uncle just before or just after Xmas Day. We have a lovely day just the 4 of us and enjoy the meal, sharing presents and being together. Christmas is a very personal thing that we all enjoy and celebrate differently. As for the adverts... Well, adverts aren't going to show 2 people at a table celebrating quietly are they?They need big groups to show off their food. 20 people around a table is a massive exaggeration. The big groups usually consist of around 10 people. At the end of the day, adverts are just adverts. They aren't real life.