To think we’ve been brainwashed over Christmas.

[FabYuleLous]

I’ve noticed on MN, and in real life, that people get very upset if their Christmas does not resemble a supermarket advert with 20 people, all generations, around a massive feast, all having a super time.

Seriously, how many of us have families like this. If you got 20 family members round a table, would it really be like that.

I know if I got 20 round a table of our family, it would look like this: DB1 being in a mood, as his life hasn’t turned out like my other DB. Me crying in the kitchen as I’d been manipulated into hosting and doing all the work and expense. PIL being PA to me, no present and criticising the meal and SIL giving me filthy looks throughout. On top of this my DC moaning that we have loads of people round.

I don’t think I’m abnormal.

So, seriously. Why are are all buying into this 20 people round a table, with a Hogwarts spread, bullshit?

Just to add. This year I’ve actually gone to the trouble of reading up about our traditions and customs around Christmas, and learnt things I didn’t know. We celebrate it blindly, and don’t even know why we are doing things we do.

I love hosting christmas and there will be 9 of us. Growing up we also had christmasses with grandpa or an aunt and her family coming over. I love hosting christmas so maybe that helps because I'm genuinly happy whennthey accept my invitation.

Last year my SIL cooked for 16 people on Christmas Day. We all sat around 2 tables joined together and had an amazing time.

So yes, for some people it is very much real.

We also have our own traditions in each household, and as family together. You celebrate Christmas Day however you want to

My family don't look like the ones in modern ads, so I couldn't replicate them even if I tried!

Be the change you want to see. You have Christmas as you want it and don't be told what to do by the TV. It's not like the big companies want the best for you - they just want your money. Oh and to push certain agendas down your throat.

So, seriously. Why are are all buying into this 20 people round a table, with a Hogwarts spread, bullshit?

I don't know ANYONE who subscribes to this myth. Don't think many modern homes could accommodate 20 people round a table.

We have a lot of Christmases with 20 people, I love it (don’t usually cook).

This year will be 14 people.

It’s a feast!

I don’t understand why people get swept up in new “traditions” they complain about doing - just don’t!
eg elf on shelf, Christmas Eve boxes, Christmas pyjamas, Christmas cups, winter Christmas decorations eg penguins! Christmas jumper days, Christmas nights out. All crazy IMO

Absolutely correct.
Celebrating Christmas is not compulsory and we should all be able to choose what we do/don't do.
The only part of Christmas that matters is that it is a Christian festival but, sadly, so many people forget that. I dislike Christmas and generally ignore it but I do love to listen to the Festival of Nine Lessons & Carols on Xmas Eve - that is proper Christmas.
But there is somehow a tyranny that says we all have to conform to stereotypes and the whole "20 people round a family table" thing is the most ghastly and damaging stereotype of all.

The only part of Christmas that matters is that it is a Christian festival but, sadly, so many people forget that.

Speaking as someone who will actually be in a church over Christmas, I think this is a bit of a daft take. Christmas as celebrated in the UK is incredibly obviously a syncretistic festival. Christianity is part of it, but the celebration around the shortest day and the things we do around that time long predate it. If you only want to acknowledge the relatively recent Christian aspects of the festival, that's fine, but they certainly aren't the only things that matter.

You tell us we should be able to choose what we do yet you'd like to tell us that the only thing that matters is that it is a Christian festival and we are all sadly forgetting the thing that you think is important 😂I won't go into the many reasons why this is such bullshit it's been done to death - every year.
Everyone feels imposed upon - if it's not the advertisers and the retail industry it's the bloody religious zealots telling us we're not doing it right!🙄

The entire point of all advertising is to manipulate viewers into buying stuff. Christmas advertising is no different.

Christmas is a Pagan festival, not Christian. The Yule Log is Pagan, the Tree is pagan. St Nicholas is Christian to be fair. I love it currently cooking orange slices and got my cinnamon to tie in a bow on the tree, just bought some golden coins.

The brainwashing but to me is definitely to do with how many presents people expect. Especially in a cost of living crisis.

We are having about 8 people just the right amount and a few games. I can’t wait! It’s been a cold and miserable winter, the kids have been sick, I’ve had to work really long hours, a few people I’ve done nothing to have randomly taken time out of their life to be horrible etc. so the run up seeing lots of groups of friends then family will be all the better.

Or maybe just an attempt to make people smile but on MN everything has a sinister backstory!

As a kid we always saw extended family at Christmas so 10ish people for lunch minimum. I loved it.

As an adult it ranges from 8 to 18 and I still love it. I don't mind if I've been brainwashed...I like the bustle of it and we all have fun.

In reality on MN and other forums I see more of wanting to have Christmas just as a small household. I'm introverted and like being at home but I really wouldn't not like this. Each to their own though.

In real life I don't know anyone who doesn't see extended family on Christmas Day and I also don't know anyone who doesn't get on well with their families.

*wouldn't like this. Hate that you can't edit on MN

Christmas is a Pagan festival, not Christian.

I wish people would stop peddling this crap. How man pagans do you know who celebrate Christmas, the birth of Christ? Did any ever?

Nobody knows exactly when Christ was born. Nevertheless, early Christians wanted to celebrate his birth. Since they all had December 25th free in their diaries now that they had converted from whatever they worshipped before, it was an obvious date to choose.

It's a mixture of both, which is why it has such blatantly obvious pagan elements and blatantly obvious Christian elements.

There's 15 of us. I love it all, the food, the hosting, the laughter, being together, the games. You do you OP and I'll do me.

I like bringing the family together at Christmas. We haven't for several years, but even though it is stressful and all the emotional mindfuckery comes out, it is also lovely for all the cousins and siblings to get together, for the oldies to sit around reminiscing about their student days, for the teens to sneak outside for a vape they think no one has noticed and give advice to the younger ones about love, uni, work etc. I love all that. DFiL telling terrible jokes, DS snogging his boyfriend blatantly behind DFiL's back because he doesn't understand 'the gays'. It is all a bit Dickensian and exhausting but I'd be sad if we never have one of those chaotic family Christmases again. It's all a bit calm and genteel if there's just teh four of us.

Again, "we" haven't been suckered in. Never done Christmas Eve boxes or elf on a shelf. In my immediate circle of friends/family I don't know of any who do the elf thing actually.
We do get new pyjamas every year, but they're not matchy matchy for Instagram or novelty Christmas ones. Have had this since I was a child.

If Christians didn't want Christmas or Easter to be linked to secular or pagan traditions and incorporate secular or pagan celebrations and rituals, they shouldn't have co-opted secular and pagan festivals as part of the PR campaign to convert people to Christianity.

Almost inevitable that it would eventually come full circle and the Christian aspects become overshadowed.

As ye sow, etc etc.

We don’t have 20 most years but our Christmas is probably very like the typical adverts. This year we are doing multiple things
In next 30 mins I have 10 kids (ages 2-9) & some of their parents coming round. Kids will decorate mini Christmas cakes, bake cookies and do crafts. Parents will drink wine, chat and give kids a hand as needed
Christmas Eve friends and my brother/sister in law are coming for dinner here, Christmas Day we are at my mums with all the inlaws (husband’s dad/sister/bil/our nephew/nieces and one of the niece’s boyfriends, brothers parents in law) & our Ukrainian guests. There will be 14 adults and 4 kids. We’ve done it before and it’s fantastic but my parents have a big house and it’s comfortable to manage 20 for a sit down meal and up to more like 40 for a casual get together within a buffet. We do stuff like that fairly regularly through the year. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea but some people love to have a family get together

I do take the point about simmering family tensions, etc etc. We're very lucky that we all genuinely like each other and get along so that large family gatherings are low stress.

I do remember that for years, my mother would work incredibly hard to try to prevent arguments between my grandfather and his sister. One of us would be on great-aunt duty, the other on grandpa duty to try to keep them apart, because my mum didn't want Christmas spoiled.

One year she finally gave in and listened to my dad's advice (it was his side of the family) and just decided to stop trying to keep the peace. It was brilliant. Massively entertaining yo watch them having a good old ding-dong about fifty year old gripes while the rest of us (including my long-suffering grandmother) chatted about other stuff or occasionally just sat back and watched the show.

My mother used to hate hosting Christmas. She adores it now.

FIL and MIL have the perfect house to host Christmas. It's 6 bedrooms, all with en-suite. Plenty of living areas. They are only late 60's and very fit. But they never offer to host. They just expect to be hosted by one of their adult children, none of whom have a house big enough to accommodate the whole family, so there are never any Christmassess spent as a whole. I just don't get it?

It's interesting people mentioning Dickens starting all this

Did anyone listen to the program on radio 4 yesterday about "how Santa stole Christmas"? It was quite interesting. How films like It's a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street are the modern replacement for A Christmas Carol in America; a Christmas morality tale. But they cleverly make it so that capitalism is still A Good Thing in the movies. You get good capitalists and bad capitalists in the movies whereas in Dickens the capitalist Scrooge is the bad guy. They were saying this is incredibly clever marketing to make sure people don't stop spending!

I don't know how true it is, but it was an interesting theory and they had some experts in marketing who talked about it, so I'm sure it holds some water at least

Don't forget Saturnalia. It also often ties in with Hannukah. It's an equal ops midwinter festival of human resistance against the elements with extra lights.

Totally agree with this