Are we secretly communicating through social media or am I nuts?

[Letstakeitbacktothenineties]

Ok, so this is quite hard to explain/understand maybe, but I know I’m not imagining it 🙈
Used to go out with a guy when in my teens, lived in the same area, had the same friends etc. I moved away, he moved away..and so life goes.
around ten years ago, we connected on Fb and began chatting, I was with someone at the time, he wasn’t. We chatted as friends but had the most incredible connection, I’d look forward to hearing from him, he was so interesting, clever, funny etc and there was just something so strong between us. I live abroad and regularly went back to our home town, as did he. He asked to meet up many times (as friends) I really wanted to but ending up backing out due to my partner at the time. He wasn’t happy I don’t think and we stopped contact for ages. He’d occasionally contact me, every couple of years and I’d feel over the moon about it but was never in a position to meet up as by that stage I was pregnant and scared it would be more than friends. He ended up meeting someone (I could see from his social media) and he moved abroad and got married, I felt pretty devastated and didn’t want to see pics etc so unfriended him on Fb etc. I did a sneaky look on Instagram a few times (he had profile open) but then he put on private, mine was open at times and then on private.
Now for the crazy sounding part…when I’ve had mine open for a while, his is then open not long after. When I put mine back on private, his is then put back on private. I put mine on private for a long time (due to pics of Dd) when I put it open, a few days later he was gone..on Instagram and Fb and had blocked me (friend is still able to see him) and so this pattern continues sometimes. My point is that after every time I’ve put it on public so he can see my pics..a few days later he does something with his account.
I realise this sounds weird and as though I’m reading too much into things..but I really don’t think I am, am I?!

I agree this thing you have isn’t real.

Saying you have a connection you don’t have with any other man is fantasy. You don’t actually know him, he’s a version of himself typed on a screen.

This is probably holding you back from forming real life relationships.

@Headaxhe You're probably right

@SmileyClare But I do know him, we knew each other for years and lived down the road from each other. We messaged every day and for a long time

But he was a teenager when you knew him, you don't know him now as an adult.

All you know now is his online persona, that's not the real him.

@berrycakeandcustard I suppose not..crazy how you can feel such a connection…spoke online to others before and never had a connection the same, or one at all really

Hmm you talk about knowing him, living down the road from him, he was your boyfriend but you were teenagers. You’re now what in your thirties?

Nothing has happened since just virtual chat and poring over his online pictures. It’s a false intimacy and not a relationship.

You can’t go back to the nineties and be a teen again.

I think you’re romanticising the whole thing and you’ve fallen down an online rabbit hole now 😬

Yes, probably, just haven’t felt like that before, he said the same, maybe it was just being online talking all the time. Maybe if we met now, there’d be nothing 🤷🏻‍♀️

And you aren’t ever going to know because you won’t contact him. This whole thread is pointless for that very reason.

@WishIhadacrystalball He could contact me…if he’s free that is

Anything is "v noticeable" when you are watching out for it regularly

@Confusion101 Hmmm

Why do you check whether his Instagram is open or private every time you change yours?

@iwasaterribleteen Because I started to notice it was happening, so then deliberately put mine on public every so often, sometimes not for a really long time. Each time I look after that, he’s changed his

Why would he? How is he to know you’re single if you keep unfriending him or blocking him or whatever stage you are at. I hardly think he is giving you as much thought as you are him. However doesn’t mean to say if you contacted him he wouldn’t be happy about it. I’m checking out of this thread now because I’m finding it so annoying that you have managed to discuss this all day with no intention of actually doing something about it. Last words, imagine being in your 70s or 80s and meeting him, both saying how you missed each other and wished you had reached out. What a waste of the time you could have had together.

And what? There’s the small matter of you living in different countries both with children (?) and even if he’s divorced, he presumably has an established life, career, home.

This amazing connection has never stopped either of you pursuing other relationships.
You weren’t prepared to leave your partner. Love has hardly conquered all for you two.

Maybe you’re in a bad place after breaking up with your daughter’s dad? You’ve put this guy on a pedestal - desperately hoping he’s your happy ever after based on very little.

@SmileyClare He doesn’t have children.

At the time of him wanting to meet up, my life was very complicated, I was doing ivf and in a situation I wasn’t completely happy in, but couldn’t just leave, it wasn’t as simple as that

@SmileyClare I’m not in a bad place and ended my relationship and feel a lot better. He’s just always been there at the back of my mind in good and bad times. Is that weird? I’m not sure it is, surely other people have that? It’s occasional but still there sometimes

@WishIhadacrystalball You’re right, i just find it hard to contact him as I’m not sure of his reaction or whether he’s still married and it seems the wrong thing to do.

@SmileyClare You're right though, what can ever become of it..:might be different if we both were single and lived down the road from one another, just far too complicated

So just to reiterate what others have already said, what’s the point in this thread if you’re not actually going to do anything about it?!

If he wanted to contact you, he would. He hasn’t contacted you, this is all in your head.

@Lolabear38 Because I wanted to see other people’s opinions if I was imagining it

What would you have done if everyone agreed that he is secretly communicating with you ?

@Flumpmageddon Not sure…at least I’d know

It wouldn't have meant that you know.

@ReneBumsWombats Well it would a bit more if everyone said that there was no way it was just coincidence