Are we secretly communicating through social media or am I nuts?

[Letstakeitbacktothenineties]

Ok, so this is quite hard to explain/understand maybe, but I know I’m not imagining it 🙈
Used to go out with a guy when in my teens, lived in the same area, had the same friends etc. I moved away, he moved away..and so life goes.
around ten years ago, we connected on Fb and began chatting, I was with someone at the time, he wasn’t. We chatted as friends but had the most incredible connection, I’d look forward to hearing from him, he was so interesting, clever, funny etc and there was just something so strong between us. I live abroad and regularly went back to our home town, as did he. He asked to meet up many times (as friends) I really wanted to but ending up backing out due to my partner at the time. He wasn’t happy I don’t think and we stopped contact for ages. He’d occasionally contact me, every couple of years and I’d feel over the moon about it but was never in a position to meet up as by that stage I was pregnant and scared it would be more than friends. He ended up meeting someone (I could see from his social media) and he moved abroad and got married, I felt pretty devastated and didn’t want to see pics etc so unfriended him on Fb etc. I did a sneaky look on Instagram a few times (he had profile open) but then he put on private, mine was open at times and then on private.
Now for the crazy sounding part…when I’ve had mine open for a while, his is then open not long after. When I put mine back on private, his is then put back on private. I put mine on private for a long time (due to pics of Dd) when I put it open, a few days later he was gone..on Instagram and Fb and had blocked me (friend is still able to see him) and so this pattern continues sometimes. My point is that after every time I’ve put it on public so he can see my pics..a few days later he does something with his account.
I realise this sounds weird and as though I’m reading too much into things..but I really don’t think I am, am I?!

He's probably blocked you because you have accidentally viewed a story or liked an old pic which makes you look like a stalker. Which is what you are, btw.

@Confusion101 So nasty ffs, why be like that.

@pinkpotatoez Nope, never have and his page private as mine nearly always is

Anyway, some nasty people coming out.
Thanks to some of the constructive comments, I’m obviously wrong and seeing all these apparent massive coincidences as more. Not going to message him, so best fo just block and be done with it really.
Thank you to the kinder replies

Definitely limerence. A common element of which is being in denial about it.

Is it nasty though?? Or is it the truth!?

Just throwing in my two cents to say it does sound feasible (although agree not good to humour these thoughts - but you already know this). I'd venture that the hate you're getting is from people too old to understand what you're on about 🙃

@bunpot I'm significantly younger than the op

@Letstakeitbacktothenineties why do you often go from public to private?

Nope. Wrong.

Can we turn this around a minute and imagine the OP is a man talking about a woman sending covert sm signals by changing her accounts from public to private. Suddenly it seems a lot more sinister and similar to the start of a story with a very nasty ending.

OP you’ve been given a lot of feedback, almost all of it you’ve rubbished unless it’s agreeing with you. Not sure why you posted really! You seem convinced he’s trying to communicate with you in this very bizarre way, please don’t do anything about it. At best I think you’ll end up very embarrassed and at worst this could have a very horrible outcome!

Same age as OP 🤷🏻‍♀️

So we are now at 8 pages if you defending this for you to say you aren’t going to message him which is what I asked you hours ago. What does it matter then? Why even spare a thought if you don’t want to contact him or reach out to him? Who honestly cares if someone stalks you online, blocks you, goes private, goes public if you have zero interest. So bizarre.

Judging from some comments, I’m a nutcase and really should go to the docs 😔

Just bloody message him, what do you have to lose? This prime turkey of a fantasy?

Most sensible thing you've said this whole thread.

@Whattodo182 Thanks

It's possible, I guess a similar way to explain it, is e.g. I change my profile picture then e.g. A day or too x person changes theirs, ect

Why are you so invested in this man?

You haven’t seen him since you were school kids
You started some sort of online emotional relationship which you kept hidden from your partner. Maybe you were flattered, it was a false intimacy.

Despite saying you were friends with an “incredible bond” he flounced when you wouldn’t meet up and blocked you for ten years.

He’s now married and living abroad.

Have you quite recently come out of a failed relationship with your dds dad?
Perhaps this is a reaction to that?
Its just fantasy, try to stop obsessing about him.

@SmileyClare He didn’t block me for ten years 🤷🏻‍♀️We were in touch on and off, I told him I was in a relationship and he said if I was in a real, serious relationship, he would respect that and step away.
I was the one who unfriended him when I saw him with his new (now wife) as I didn’t want to see the pics etc. I shouldn’t have unfriended him, but it was a spur of the moment thing.
ive thought about him over the years, not all the time and definitely not obsessively, he’s always just sort of been there, even when I was in another relationship, which I know is bad.
I haven’t had that with any other man and haven’t had the connection we had..he said the same

@Hawkins001 Yes, that’s it, it’s v noticeable

So you haven’t actually seen each other since you were teens; just had sporadic messaging back and forth?

It seems odd to me; sort of keeping each other on the back burner and playing odd games with each other; declaring an incredible connection but staying with other partners, refusing to even meet up, blocking each other if either of you weren’t stroking the other’s ego.

I think it’s unhealthy, disrespectful to the partners you’ve had over the years, it’s not a love story and logistically (living in different countries) it’s never going to happen.

Its time to stop giving so much head space to this virtual “thing” isn’t it?

I haven’t had that with any other man and haven’t had the connection we had..he said the same
Honestly you probably have some serious Rose tinted glasses about teenage puppy love, a lot of people's proper teenage gf/Bf experiences are like that when they look back, but you will have had little to no responsibilities compared to now, life is a lot simpler etc etc. The reality of actually dating him now vs the dream and chatting online would probably be very different, it's easy to have a connection when there's nothing riding on it, everyone can say the right thing and come across as the perfect man with a great connection when it's only been online for years.

How come ? She obviously really likes him and said he looks single now, obviously if he's not single definitely leave him alone!

@SmileyClare It wad me that chose not to meet up, he wanted to..a lot, but I knew something would happen, so didn’t.