Would You Judge Me Over Table Manners?

[TheShellBeach]

I eat with my fork in my right hand and my knife in my left hand.

I have always done this. I am not left-handed and have lost count of the number of people who have asked me if I am. It just feels easier for me. DH is the same.

Seriously - would you judge me and think I had bad table manners over this? AIBU to think people should use their cutlery whichever way round is comfortable?

Ahh good, the cutlery cunts are still at it. I am able to use a fork in my left hand, I can do it rather well and observe all the usual customs associated with what many wrongly believe to be correct eating etiquette. Fortunately for me I was brought up by a child battering bastard who made me stay at the table for hours until a bowl of unheated chicken soup was eaten and if I didn't, or if I conducted myself in any way that he thought was uncouth, I would be beaten with a brown leather belt with a solid silver buckle. If I asked for water, same would happen. If he felt that I wasn't using the cutlery as nicely as he had taught me, I'd be battered. He fucked off when I was 9 and the damage was done. I vowed to never again let anybody dictate to me how I eat, or when, or with what utensil. So know this, you can judge me all you like. I judge you self righteous cutlery police far more because without your ridiculous rules I wouldn't have gone through that.

Oh well. That's told us, eh?

Nah @ClydeFrog, I'm fine to judge you and your ilk but thanks for doubting the validity of my abuse, nice 😂 as if anyone would make that up. I didn't say stop eating like a dick because of child abuse, I said I judge you back, as is my right.

There is something seriously missing in a person who can read an account of childhood abuse and respond by calling the person ridiculous and implying they are lying.
Its actually quite disturbing to read that response.
@ScarierThanBoo I'm sorry to hear what you went through.

@ScarierThanBoo I'm sorry you went through that. I'd be tempted to eat with my hands every once in a while just because I could!

@5128gap
That wasn’t what ClydeFrog said at all
Table manners aren’t a form of abuse. They are supposed to make eating with other people nicer.
The fact an abuser used them on ScarierThanBoo as such is not the fault of the manners but her father. “Cutlery cunts” is also abusive btw.

I'm right handed, but use fork in left hand, knife in right. Nobody in my entire life has commented on it and I'm in my 30's now.

I ended up this way because I sat opposite my parents at dinner time so I mirrored them, rather than "copied" them. DS however sits alongside me at dinner time and he's ended up the same way as me as he has copied and not mirrored.

But again, if cutlery is used appropriately, your aren't licking knives or stabbing things with your fork, makes no difference.

@CaptainBarbosa that's the 'correct ' way isn't it? Or have I been wrong my entire life?

Apologies I got confused, just picked up a knife and fork. I am indeed left hand knife, right hand fork. 🤣

Using a generic insult against adults on a discussion board is chasms away from the childhood abuse described. Don't even try to conflate the two.
The poster read an account of child abuse and their takeaway from that was to call the person ridiculous and cast doubt on their account. That's the part of the post I take issue with. All their nonsense about cutlery and manners is too stupid to keep responding to. Especially given their own lack of the latter shows they wouldn't know civilised behaviour from a poke in the eye.

Casting doubt ? No one was casting doubt.

I ‘m not conflating anything. I’m saying the Op can’t use her abuse to shut down a discussion whilst abusing others.

When I was little I was taught how to 'correctly' hold cutlery, how to eat etc. I remember going to uni and being generally shocked than people ate KFC for their evening meal. Or ate on the sofa! Now I'm old obviously I don't think that way, but if it was something mentioned a lot as child it's hard to shake. Not just my immediate family, everywhere I ate as a child! Times have changed (though I was born in the 90s!)

Or even genuinely! 😬

I was born in the 1950s and although my parents taught us good manners, I always found it easier to hold my knife and fork the "wrong" way round.

I think my mother didn't want to die on that particular hill (I was DC 3) and I never did awful things like eating with my mouth open or talking with food in my mouth.

None of us did. I remember being horrified when I (briefly) worked as a nanny in 2001, and all the (posh and rich) children ate with their mouths wide open. They found it almost impossible to eat unless their mouths were gaping. It was horrible.

@ClydeFrog I think you're labouring under a misapprehension. I am well aware that people judge me for all manner of things, I'm not alone in that, it's a judgemental world. My point was that I actively choose to use cutlery in the manner that I do for the reasons that I have already stated and I judge you and others like you who in return judge me. I'm merely pointing out that it's a two way street. You judge me for eating like a pig and I judge you for living by arbitrary rules that benefit no one and that ultimately were the number 1 cause of my childhood abuse. I did not say I shouldn't be judged nor did I say that I'm above criticism. I am however a better person than you 😊

@TheShellBeach I am the exact same! I'm a complete right handed and use fork in right hand and knife in left. This was only noticed last week that I'm opposite. I was out having dinner with my DD9, sister and my parents. My DD is left handed and was sitting opposite me. I made a joke about how she she's opposite cause she's a lefty and said something about her holding the fork on her left hand, at that point my sister and parents looked at their forks and they were all using their left hand and me my right so Infact I was the opposite one 😂 my parents never in my 30 years noticed. Nobody has ever even said or mentioned it to me so can't be that big of a deal 🙈

No. I would only judge you if you use your fork like a shovel

“Cutlery cunts” is also abusive btw.

Nothing wrong with a bit of "casual cunting".

And so am I!