Would You Judge Me Over Table Manners?

[TheShellBeach]

I eat with my fork in my right hand and my knife in my left hand.

I have always done this. I am not left-handed and have lost count of the number of people who have asked me if I am. It just feels easier for me. DH is the same.

Seriously - would you judge me and think I had bad table manners over this? AIBU to think people should use their cutlery whichever way round is comfortable?

I wouldn’t notice.

But I am intrigued. If I tried to cut food with my non-dominant hand I’d probably cut myself.

How do you knit? How do you play instruments?

I genuinely don't think I'd notice. I always use scissors in my left hand. It got a few comments from family who know that I'm right handed but no one else has ever noticed.

There’s nothing to judge.
What does it matter which hand you hold your utensils in?
I hold my fork in my left hand and my knife in my right - I’m left handed 🤷‍♀️
To me, the fork is the utensil I use most, so I use my dominant hand, it’s natural. If I’m eating with a spoon, I use my left hand. Makes total sense to me.

I do notice people who hold their cutlery in their fists and use the fork to anchor a piece of meat to the plate while sawing away at it with their knife, held like a pen because it looks so difficult.
I don't judge but think it's unfortunate for them they have never been taught to use cutlery effectively. Life is much easier when you can eat your food efficiently and reasonably neatly.
If a child has sensory or other issues I think it's for the parents to find a method that actually works for that child. Special cutlery, make sure the food is served, or plated or divided in a certain way, whatever works best.

Obviously most parents do get this but i've seen people who clearly cannot handle cutlery. Mostly young adults, out with friends or on a date and I really feel for them. Wish they'd use their hands instead, that's totally ok. Apart from soup. 😊

Yes this. I made sure my children didn’t hold a knife like a pencil too.

No. People who judge others on things like that just reveal how petty and small-minded they are (suburban silliness). Eating with your mouth open, smacking your lips together, not making eye contact, shutting other people out of the conversation (or bitching about them when they leave the table), not saying please and thankyou, etc...that's different. You don't do that because it's ugly and vulgar.

I wouldn’t judge for opposite hands but I’d notice, but I’d probably judge you for holding your knife like a pen, whichever hand you hold it in…and then I’d hate myself a little for judging a person on something so ridiculous!

It's nobody else's business. If it bothers them they can eat when you're finished.

Absolutely standard in the US

We had some US exchange students come to stay. They didn’t eat like this. They held their knives in their right hand and their forks in their left hands to cut up their food and then transferred the fork to their right hand to transfer the food to their mouths. It was painful to watch.

By the time they left us they were eating in the normal UK fashion. They said it had never occurred to them before, but it was actually an easier way to eat.

I do it too but don’t spend any time caring what other people might think.

One of my daughters is left handed.

She writes left-handed and crochets left-handed, but eats the right-handed way and plays the violin right handed, which you need to do to play in an orchestra, to avoid clashing bows with your neighbour!

Silently, yes..

I wouldn't even notice and if I did, I'd just think it was unusual - not rude.

I'm left handed and use cutlery the 'correct' way. It has always baffled me that the set-up doesn't suit left handers more. Surely the dominant hand should be in control of the fork as it it the most used piece of cutlery!

I’d probably assume you were American. On the other hand, if you HKLP, I’d think you were common as muck (joking).

Couldn't care about hands but spearing food with a knife and stabbing with a fork (American) would cause me serious issues.

No, but if you held your fork like a shovel or something I would

I doubt I would even notice and I don’t think holding your knife and fork in a non-standard way is bad manners. Chewing with your mouth open, leaning with your head in your hands all over the table, dipping a licked fork/ spoon into communal sauces, taking way more than your fair share of portions etc would all be bad manners I’d probably judge someone on but I do t care about cutlery really.

I would judge you. I'd hate myself for doing it, but I would still judge. I'm so ashamed. 😖

I eat like this too.

I keep my mouth closed, elbows off the table, cut and move food to my mouth not mouth to my food....but it still bothers my mum that my knife and fork are in the wrong hands.

My son is left handed and eats right handed so I tell her I'm covering for him

My older boys have started eating like Americans - cutting everything up, then scooping it in with a fork. I can't bear it. It makes them look like cavemen. I will ensure this habit is broken if it kills me!

i do too. And I wear my watch in my right wrist.

I am the first to judge over bad table manners but I probably wouldn’t notice this. As long as it didn’t stop you eating politely or make more noise, it wouldn’t bother me.

I wouldn’t judge you (or probably even notice) which hands you’re holding your knife and fork in as long as you were holding them correctly.

I have a friend - educated, successful and her family are pretty well to do - who has awful table manners and I judge her sometimes! She holds her fork with a closed fist and her thumb on top, using it to scoop her food into her mouth. She starts every meal by cutting up her entire plate of food and then sets her knife down, passes her fork to her right hand and uses it as a scoop to shovel her food in. She talks with her mouth full, reaches across people when they’re eating and will frequently take the last of something at a shared table without asking if anyone else wants it first. She was complaining her Ds had made a comment the other day about her table manners, he’s 7!

I've always eaten this way, and my youngest does too. I write right handed, but do most things left handed, including eating.

I always get a bit confused reading these threads.

I hold my cutlery with the fork in my left hand, knife in my right. My DB did the opposite because he's left handed.

No idea if I hold the knife 'like a pen' because I've been told I hold a pen weirdly. (Looking at images on Google suggests I hold my pen and knife correctly)

But how do you cut without using a sawing motion? A few people have said this is wrong. Google suggests it's correct.

Anyway @TheShellBeach I wouldn't judge. I'd probably assume you were left handed and then think nothing of it.