Would You Judge Me Over Table Manners?

[TheShellBeach]

I eat with my fork in my right hand and my knife in my left hand.

I have always done this. I am not left-handed and have lost count of the number of people who have asked me if I am. It just feels easier for me. DH is the same.

Seriously - would you judge me and think I had bad table manners over this? AIBU to think people should use their cutlery whichever way round is comfortable?

Quite. I understood what you meant immediately.

I am not left-handed.
I do not eat food off my knife.

I do not eat with my mouth open or shovel food into my mouth at an alarming rate.

I just find it easier to eat with my cutlery the other way round. I consider your post to be offensive.

I'm that people in 2022 consider eating as a left hander is considered bad manners TBH.

It isn't. It just isn't.

I thought we had moved on from that. We don't eat crammed together at trestle tables in 2022.

I couldn't care less which way round people hold their knife and fork.
We've moved past telling people to only write with their right hand so I think people who think it matters which hand someone handles cutlery in need to get a life.

I‘d notice and assume you weren’t taught table manners but I wouldn’t be bothered about it. Lots of people don’t seem to know basic etiquette these days

You don't eat at a dinner table with other people?

Yes we do but we sit at different sides of the table, not next to each other, so elbows aren't an issue.

I will keep saying this ad nauseum: eating with your knife in your dominant hand is not bad manners. If your dominant hand happens to be your left hand it is still NOT bad manners, except to people who have some kind of archaic ideas on what constitutes bad manners.

Bad manners is eating with your mouth open, slurping your food, using your fork like a dagger, talking with your mouth full among others. I fail to see why it offends so many people that most left handers prefer to use their knife (more safely) in their dominant hand (I'm right handed BTW).

I agree. It's weird.

And yes, we eat at the table most days. Weirdly we manage without clashing elbows. Maybe we're special.

If you can cut your food with your knife, use the fork to steer the food towards your gob, eat it without dribbling or chewing with your mouth open then you should be ok.
If you have to cut then swap USA style, just stab randomly with your fork, chew open mouthed or wear a baseball cap then I’ll judge.
that’s my prerogative.

Can someone help me understand why the table thing is an issue for those who eat left handed? Because I've been doing it for around 40 years and am yet to run into issues (and yes that includes being at black tie and white tie events as well as my own diner table) Is it expected that I am elbowing people?

My DH and I both eat like this, we know lots of people that do and we are right handed as well.

I wouldn't judge you, no.

No. To me 'bad manners' are only behaviours that impact other people negatively. So, at the table, speaking with your mouth full, grabbing more than your share, encroaching into people's space, doing things that put them off their food, burping, coughing, talking about things that could disgust them...Oh, and making other people feel uncomfortable because they don't conform to pointless etiquette about what cutlery to use for what and how to hold it.

"Bad manners is eating with your mouth open, slurping your food, using your fork like a dagger, talking with your mouth full among others."

I actually thought this was going to be what the thread was about. Not some crap about "eating with the wrong hand". Whatever rubbish that is.

I don't think I'd even notice, tbh. And I wouldn't give it a second thought even if I did.

Ah well ClydeFrog, here's hoping that one day my dreadful manners mean you spill your soup down your ballgown in a society event huh 🤣

The only way it could 'create a disruption' is if there is insufficient space between diners. If people are crammed round a dining table with no option but to touch elbows, the failing is on the part of the host or establishment for attempting to cater beyond their capacity.

I can't remember the last time I ate somewhere where we were sat so closely together that it was noticeable which hand people were holding their cutlery in.