Would You Judge Me Over Table Manners?

[TheShellBeach]

I eat with my fork in my right hand and my knife in my left hand.

I have always done this. I am not left-handed and have lost count of the number of people who have asked me if I am. It just feels easier for me. DH is the same.

Seriously - would you judge me and think I had bad table manners over this? AIBU to think people should use their cutlery whichever way round is comfortable?

No I wouldn’t

I would have judged at one point (very strict upbringing my mum was very scornful of anyone who didn’t conform).

However once I was old enough to broaden my horizons that stopped. Our country is so wonderfully diverse, the ‘polite’ way to do anything varies so much from culture to culture. Left hand/right hand etc. In my husbands culture, all drinks must be taken in three little sips and anything else is considered poor manners.

As far as I am concerned polite table manners are those which allow all parties involved to enjoy their meal.

I wouldn't even notice. Just don't lick your knife 🤢

No because I do the same. The main thing that irks me with table manners is people chewing with their mouths open (dd I'm taking to you!) or talking with a mouthful and spitting food everywhere.

How do you eat dishes like risotto or biriani? Do you use a knife to push the rice to balance it on the fork with the curved side uppermost?

That is such an impractical way to eat rice dishes.

I wouldn't notice.

I also have a disabled family member who has poor fine motor skills and struggles with cutlery so I probably wouldn't even notice if you picked some of your dinner up with your fingers.

Why? Forcing someone to use a knife in their non dominant hand might mean that both of you end up with food over you.

I thought judging someone for being left handed was left behind in the 19th century.

well is like being in an orchestra, as mentioned above , you need to play the violin a certain way
same with sitting at a table eating, if everyone is eating the same way there should be no mishaps, with elbows

You can get left handed violins. They just have to be careful where you are seated if you play left handed.

Nope.

the things that make me judge a person for their (lack of) table manners are noisy eating, eating with their mouth open, blowing their nose on their napkin etc. etc.

Yes, I’d notice and yes, I would think you have bad table manners.

Get back to the 19th century @Berlinlover. Being left handed does not constitute as having bad manners. Judging someone for being left handed does.

Wouldn't even notice.

Noisy chewers on the other hand...😫

Thankfully we've moved on from the time left handed people were forced to be right-handed

Nope my husband does this and I barely notice, in fact sometimes if I’m setting the table I feel bad that I put his cutlery the “normal” way round despite knowing that’s not how he uses it.

I did however judge my ex husband who used to only eat with a fork. He’d shovel the food in with and try and saw food in half despite there being a perfectly good knife to hand. It used to drive me mad 😂😂

I would give a shiny one! I am right handed but iron left handed and have a left handed guitar! I would even notice!

I’m not judging people who are left handed, I’m judging people who hold their cutlery incorrectly. There is a difference.

I remember one day sat at the table and picking cutlery up as it was laid, fork in left and knife in right. It felt weird and wrong and like a lot more hard work getting the fork to my mouth, like it was further away. I swapped hands and felt much better. Always have fork in right and knife in left.
so long as you don’t slop food all over when eating and miss your mouth a lot I don’t really care. It’s ppl that burp and fart at the table that wind me up when you are still eating.

I don’t get why people say using cutlery the wrong way round is a left-handed thing. I’m left-handed and to me, having my fork in my left hand is the natural place for it. If fact, in my family it’s often right-handed people who put the cutlery out the wrong way round.

Yes!! I completely agree to this! I much prefer a fork to eat things like cake, tarts etc. Spoons for ice creams, mouses etc.

It irritates the hell out of me when I am given a large spoon / soup spoon with my dessert. I always hand it back and ask for a tea spoon. It's terrible to try and eat a nice desert with large spoon. It feels like I'm using a shovel! I loathe it!

As for holding your cutlery in the correct hands, I wouldn't take much notice of the hands as long as you weren't swapping them back and forth or gripping your cutlery like you would a shovel. That just looks so undignified.

Eating at the dinner table, playing the violin in an orchestra, clearly it makes sense for people to have cutlery / play the violin, the same way / in the same direction
You're totally missing the point! Doing things right handed for a left person ISAs difficult as expecting a right handed person to do things left handed. It doesn't feel natural even if it's something you've never done before.

I took archery in my adult life, never done it before but it was much easier to do it with a left handed bow being left handed.

Why should we left handed do things like right handed people just to please those who hold no common sense as to what good manners is really all about?