To think this is (yet another) bad day for women?

[Livingtothefull]

On the same day that the male perpetrator is jailed for life for the particularly brutal murder of Megan Newborough, the victims of yet another murder in Kettering are named - a nurse and her two young children. A 52-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of murder.

AIBU to be saddened, sickened and angered by this? Will it ever end, this catalogue of male violence against women and children?

And you wonder why men don't take feminists seriously

Who is wondering this?!

Who is wondering this

Literally no one. Men just like to think they are the centre of all our thoughts and wants.

Men who are used to having their feelings centred at all times.

No. It won't end. Men are violent. Not all men but a great deal of them. We will never be free.

@TruckerBarbie

People who dedicate much of their energy to the hating of particular demographics and who are 'overwhelmed' by stuff they read online are usually unhappy individuals.

I don’t hate men, I’m not overwhelmed by stuff I read online and I’m certainly not an unhappy individual.

I also have enough intelligence to know that there are plenty of good men out there - personal experience has led me to be far more cautious of men’s behaviour than women’s though. I see more men acting violently than I do women (in the past two days for example, two men kicking off with each other in the pub, two men I saw being escorted by police at A&E).

I’ve not been felt up in public places by women (better known as sexual assault) repeatedly, I’ve not had a woman threaten me that they know where to get guns from and I’d better watch out, I’ve not been hit by a woman as an adult, I’ve not seen nearly as many women kicking off and behaving violently as I’ve seen men do. I’ve not had any women behave obsessively about me and then get threatening with me when I am not interested in their advances. I could go on.

I have nice friends, I hang around in good circles of people - I don’t find myself hanging in circles with men who are likely to behave in violent ways. Yet I’ve still experienced it.

It has taught me to be cautious and wary because I know what men are capable of violence, sexual assault and frightening behaviour if they don’t get their own way.

I’d be an utter idiot if I didn’t show a wariness towards them. There is something inherently wrong with how many men think it’s perfectly ok to use violence or feel entitled to behave in ways that are harmful to other humans. We only hear about the reported cases of this happening - that’s just the tip of iceberg, I suspect.

Oh please. Men's mental health is an afterthought in our society. Male suicide is the biggest cause of death in men under 50. Nearly as many men kill themselves in a week as women are murdered in a year.

We'll never solve the problems with male aggression, mental health etc unless we address these facts.

Have you ever worked for a men’s suicide charity? I have. Do you want to know the overwhelming cause of male suicide?

Although tbh @TruckerBarbie im still waiting to hear what it is you’re doing for men’s issues, aside from hanging about calling women hypocrites on mumsnet. Even on threads where nobody mentions men, you have to bring them up.

I think it's time to ignore the extraneous nonsense from certain posters on this thread, it's just another way for them to try to deflect women's attention away from male violence and silence us.

Let's get back to talking about male violence against females.

I don’t think whatever we do will fundamentally change the danger men present to women, to men or to themselves for the following reasons.

Much of the conversation, especially in social science and social policy areas claim the tendency for men to be more violent than women is a result of traditional gender roles, such that in many cultures boys are raised to believe it’s important for them to be dominant and competitive, while girls are raised to be more nurturing and gentle.

Evolutionary psychologists, however, would say that it has more to do with our evolved sex differences and the fact that males have historically competed for status and access to females. Whenever comparisons are made between other mammals I often see people reply ‘but we are a different species, we are not animals etc’ but I believe the separation of ourselves from other mammals due to socialisation can only take us so far. We are not really any different.

I recently saw a cross-cultural study using data from 63 countries around the world showed that male teenagers were nearly three times more likely to have engaged in fighting over the previous year than female teenagers. This difference was actually greater in cultures with more gender equality (ie, where traditional gender roles are not such an influence), so this provides support for the evolutionary explanation.

In summary, as depressing as it is, we will never be free of that specific threat.

However, we’d be in a lot better place if male violence profile was similar to womens. And a massive drop in criminal and antisocial behaviour as well
it is not a “ human” condition as such, it is not impossible to change a culture so mens violence reduces to levels similar to womens

@WhistlingInWhistler

I think it's time to ignore the extraneous nonsense from certain posters on this thread, it's just another way for them to try to deflect women's attention away from male violence and silence us. Let's get back to talking about male violence against females.

This. ^ We need to ignore the (few) people trying to steer this thread away with this 'aww da poor iccle menz' agenda. They are probably men.

If not, and they ARE a woman, I have to say, I do wonder how and WHY they can't see/haven't seen how vile SOME men really are, and the extreme abuse and violence against women - from men.

They either live on a desert island full of just women - OR they're on the wind up.

@TruckerBarbie

Oh please. Men's mental health is an afterthought in our society. Male suicide is the biggest cause of death in men under 50.

@OlympicProcrastinator

I'm not sure whether you are 1) deliberately spectacularly missed the point just to shoe horn in yet another ‘what about the poor men’ point or 2) you are just thick as mince but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt on that one. It’s just another attempt at derailment really.

I am going for both 1 AND 2

If I was a man I'd probably be less outspoken as I'd risk being gaslighted and reported to my employers/branded a misogynist etc. But I'd defo not hang my head in shame for the actions committed by other people any more than I accept responsibility for the actions of the British Empire on centuries past.

Group responsibility isn't something I'm onboard with.

However, we’d be in a lot better place if male violence profile was similar to womens. And a massive drop in criminal and antisocial behaviour as well
it is not a “ human” condition as such, it is not impossible to change a culture so mens violence reduces to levels similar to womens

Yes. This.

I guess it’s the same as you not liking being asked any questions at all. Your whole input to helping ‘mens issues’ is having a go at women on the internet. There’s no gold badge for you here.

Or indeed, personal responsibility either.

I'm also not interested in the standard mumsnet diversion tactic of 'death by questions'. 😂

No, I see that. Because if you did answer those questions honestly, you’d look like a hypocrite yourself. It’s much easier to sneer at women instead.

I'm also not interested in the standard mumsnet diversion tactic of 'death by questions'. 😂

Brilliant.

I can understand if an individual has experienced past trauma, but I'm sick of middle class white feminists moaning about privilege if I'm honest

Im a black woman and your posts drip with both racism and misogyny.

If I am 'sneering' (which I'm not) it's not at the majority of women.

No, just at the ones upset by male violence.

It has little relevance to the majority of the population

Said no woman ever. Male violence affects so many aspects of our lives, whether it’s how we behave on a date, where we walk at night, how we dressed how we react to road rage, how we are in relationships, what we teach our children, how we feel when we see yet another dead woman at the hands of her ex partner or a stranger on a night out. If affects how we interact with police, especially if like me you are a women of colour.

But yeah, we are all middle class white feminists who just hate men.