Is this an awful present for a 14 year old?

[DobbleBobble]

I have 14 and 8 year olds, both get stockings and (small-ish) Santa presents plus presents / money from family. 14 year old has always been full of Christmas magic, never had a conversation about no Santa, last time he asked was 4 years ago and I just reminded him how much he loves the build up and if he doesn't believe he will lose that (8 year old has never questioned, I don't think she ever had any Christmas magic although she still loves the holiday and is my best bet for watching a Christmas film).

So, scene set, my 14 year old doesn't want anything for Christmas, there are a couple of things he wants but to do with computer games and he is very aware that it's all a rip off and he doesn't really want to spend money on it. He has chocs, a t-shirt and a couple of things he might like plus money and probably a computer voucher from family, but his stocking is quite empty (compared with sisters and previous years) and I'm thinking rather than trying to fill it I put a note from Santa (obviously he knows that is me although we haven't discussed it) saying he's growing up, nice to see he appreciates what he has, stocking a bit empty, no child should be without gifts so hope he likes what has been chosen for him and Santa has given an extra gift of xxx to a child whose family can't treat them like his can.

I feel happy with that and I think he would be but what do you think, is it Christmas ruined for a 14 year old and what on earth do I do instead if it is?

I do understand the computer game rip off comment though. My sons got gaming desktop computers and have Steam accounts where games cost so much less than console games. They did have Xbox before.

Mine are 19 and 16 and still hang up a stocking for Father Christmas. That stocking gets filled every year. Mine have traditional items such as a tube of smarties, chocolate coins and always at least one pair of socks/slipper socks/toasty socks. As their feet grow they always need socks.

Does your DS not have any traditional items that have always been in his stocking? Or start now, a particular chocolate, a mini can of pringles, hair/body stuff, a body puffe thing for the shower. We have done jokey items like tea bag strainer for them making cups of tea that they don't drink, us parents are the tea drinkers.

It is more difficult when they get older but plenty of ideas on the Christmas board for stocking fillers for everyone and anyone.

Useful things that might need so money is not wasted
Trainers in larger size to grow into with bill so he can change them.
After shave some boys like to smell nice
Sports clothes

I think he's saying the gaming points are a rip off to guage whether you agree or not before he asks for them. Yes they're a waste of money really but the kids love spending them in game and being able to dress up their avatar or buy add ons/open football packs etc. You can go to GAME and buy actual cards for the game (so £10 roblox card/£50 fifa card, whatever it is you want) so that was he has a physical gift. I'd also buy some merchandise for that particular game. Even if it's nothing he'd take out in public he'd probably love faffing about with it in his room.

Come on, teens don’t believe in Santa.

When he questioned it at 10 years old, you threatened that he’d “lose the build up to Christmas” and shut him down.

This is very odd, he sounds like a nice kid but he’s humouring you.

Christmas can be fantastic for children regardless of their belief in Santa.

Give the boy some Bulldog toiletries, socks, boxers, an Amazon gift voucher, some sweets & book.

Sounds awful.

Get him some nice stuff fgs.

You are just determined to spoil his Christmas, find another little project OP, he is your son ffs.

I have grandsons aged 16 and 13 and I always help with stockings. Here is 13 year old’s:
tape measure , torch, snowflake multi tool, exercise dice, pens, notebook, socks (funny), football club pencil case, beanie hat, chocolate orange , Haribo cola bottles, small can of lemonade, deodorant and a daft wooden robot to stick in the top (that’s all I can remember).

Haven't read the full thread. I don't see what this has got to do with Christmas magic/ believing in FC or not, tbh. I have a 14 year old too (admittedly a girl) as well as an older child. Their stockings will be full of cheap useful things - bath stuff, toothbrush, nice pens and pencils for school, some funny stationery item they both want, and the usual sweets, chocolate and socks. Please fill it up with fun/ useful stuff!

I think he's saying the gaming points are a rip off to guage whether you agree or not before he asks for them.

Yep I think Throw could have it right @DobbleBobble . He sounds like a considerate boy.

What he was really saying could be :

'I would like these things but I appreciate that they could be expensive for you.'

I.e he does like them but is just trying to say so considerately.

Sorry op but it does sound pretty rubbish. Vouchers, toiletries, aftershave, chocolate, sweets, socks, hair products and a phone charger always go down well.

I think you should buy your son the game he wants too. I could be reading it wrong but sounds like you’ve brought for the young ones but have left eldest DC out and haven’t put much effort in.

He'd like gaming vouchers. So what if it's wasteful? If you have the money to buy them then buy them!
my 14 year old's stocking has Nike socks, nice boxers, lynx aftershave, LED lights, chocolate, sports gloves etc. I'm sure you can find some bits he would use and enjoy.

I think he should have the game related things he asked for @DobbleBobble if you can afford them. They're what he's asked for, he's just trying to do so nicely. If you can only afford one of the things then get one.

I think your heart is in thr right place and you meant well. Could you put a small gift on the end of his bed and still donate a small gift of the same to someone in need?

Glad you've realised it's a shit idea. Not filling his stocking is awful. I can't believe that he wouldn't like any of the following:
Tube of Pringles
Pants
Chocolates
Chocolate orange
Marshmallows
Deodorant
Shoe odour eaters
Body sprays
Shower gels
Hair gel
Scratch cards
Socks
New toothbrush
Other fave foods/biscuits/chocolates.
New long phone charger
Wallet

You don't have to spend much and you could buy stuff you know he'll use but it will make his stocking full.
I'd have been devastated if at 14 you couldn't even fill a stocking.

all these people saying to op to just rack her brains, fill it with stuff, look on web for inspiration, etc etc

is this not just buying for buyings sake ??!

clearly he doesn’t want more than what he’s asked for so why buy it? Do you think he’s gonna like this extra stuff? Probs not, it’ll end up in a land fill in a couple of months

Time to treat him as a 14 year old!

Some more grown up presents; aftershave, magazine subscription? A set of door keys on a personalised key ring, a chain or a poster for his room.

I never understand why parents think Christmas is “ruined” if a child realises Santa isn’t real.

He sounds like a lovely considerate young man, try not to baby him x

He definitely needs a chocolate orange and chocolate coins in the stocking. Chocolate santa or reindeer.

Art or drawing supplies? Nice gel pens, notebook. Novelty socks (Christmas, star wars, dinosaurs etc) Nice pjs. Book.

So, scene set, my 14 year old doesn't want anything for Christmas, there are a couple of things he wants but to do with computer games and he is very aware that it's all a rip off and he doesn't really want to spend money on it.

Is this genuinely word for word what he has said? Because that's what I was like when I was that age (and still am most years) and I would have LOVED something like what you've described. There have been many years when I couldn't really think of anything I wanted, I found the pressure of having to think of things to tell my parents to get me really irritating and stressful and depressing, and it genuinely made my heart sink unwrapping piles of tat that I didn't want or need, especially knowing it would pretty much all be going straight to landfill. If he genuinely doesn't want anything then yeah, why not do this.

Perhaps though broach the idea with him gently first, and see how he responds, just in case he does hate it.

When he questioned it at 10 years old, you threatened that he’d “lose the build up to Christmas” and shut him down

I think he's saying the gaming points are a rip off to guage whether you agree or not before he asks for them

Yes. It sounds a bit odd to me, I guess.

OP, you say I feel happy with that and I think he would be but what do you think, is it Christmas ruined for a 14 year old and what on earth do I do instead if it is?

It's a bit weird, tbh. Would he really be happy? If he is, why is Christmas 'ruined'? What on earth do you do? You buy him a few stocking fillers, like everyone else. No plastic/pointless tat, but a few well-chosen gifts that have some value for him.

Everything seems a bit oddly loaded. Is he trying to keep you happy? This thread could have just been "any idea for 14 year old's stocking?"

So what does he like and is in to? We can tailor the suggestions then

Yabu.
what you’re actually saying is you can’t be arsed to put any effort in thinking about what he might like. At the very least you make the siblings presents equal. Otherwise it looks like favouritism no matter how you dress it up with virtue signalling.

My thoughts exactly!! How wasteful...

New hat or gloves . Deodorant and shower gels. Tube of Pringles to himself.

You can't go wrong with a satsuma. 😀And it's wholesome. 2 satsumas count as one of his 5 a day.

IDK if he could get in the spirit of this, but I make my bestie a stocking as he no longer has his mum. The last 2 years I've bought these ready-filled things and just add satsuma

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B08KY57ZS3

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B09KS9HML3

They are things the cats end up chasing around and stuff. Just things to add to the amusement of the day.