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Original poster

Is this an awful present for a 14 year old?

271 replies

DobbleBobble · 15/12/2022 21:10

I have 14 and 8 year olds, both get stockings and (small-ish) Santa presents plus presents / money from family. 14 year old has always been full of Christmas magic, never had a conversation about no Santa, last time he asked was 4 years ago and I just reminded him how much he loves the build up and if he doesn't believe he will lose that (8 year old has never questioned, I don't think she ever had any Christmas magic although she still loves the holiday and is my best bet for watching a Christmas film).

So, scene set, my 14 year old doesn't want anything for Christmas, there are a couple of things he wants but to do with computer games and he is very aware that it's all a rip off and he doesn't really want to spend money on it. He has chocs, a t-shirt and a couple of things he might like plus money and probably a computer voucher from family, but his stocking is quite empty (compared with sisters and previous years) and I'm thinking rather than trying to fill it I put a note from Santa (obviously he knows that is me although we haven't discussed it) saying he's growing up, nice to see he appreciates what he has, stocking a bit empty, no child should be without gifts so hope he likes what has been chosen for him and Santa has given an extra gift of xxx to a child whose family can't treat them like his can.

I feel happy with that and I think he would be but what do you think, is it Christmas ruined for a 14 year old and what on earth do I do instead if it is?

OP posts:
Baconand · 15/12/2022 21:51

At 14 I just wanted cold hard cash to spend as I wanted. Give him cash to spend when he is ready!

BHRK · 15/12/2022 21:51

No you’re being incredibly mean to a child. Don’t do that. Fill the stocking

Original poster
DobbleBobble · 15/12/2022 21:51

Sorry, I realised that I don't know how to reply to specific comments so my answers don't make a lot of sense. Thank you for all the ideas and for sure that donation idea was shit, this is why I came here to check! He really already has or isn't interested in most of the stuff mentioned and Ive spent quite a bit of time looking for ideas before posting this. Some of it he has for this Christmas, he certainly won't go short.

OP posts:
Soakitup37 · 15/12/2022 21:52

you have asked if you’re being unreasonable, and it’s clear that the verdict is you are - so take that for what it is op, and pls don’t do the note suggestion with a limp stocking. In fact fill it up and look at what it looks like.

by All means give him the chance to gift a child in need a present but don’t take them off him without choice that’s cruel and he’ll never forget that (you did that) he may also see it as
lazy/favouritism.

my son is gaming mad abd knows i hate robux/vebux but in his stocking ive got him a wallet with robux in it, as its from father christmas not me!

RobertaFirmino · 15/12/2022 21:53

Cosycover · 15/12/2022 21:43

He wants the gaming voucher

He does and I'd bet he's only saying about it being a 'waste of money' because he's concerned about COL. It would be a right kick in the teeth to see his younger sibling get lots more AND a random gift for someone else with a schmaltzy letter. Let the poor lad blast aliens FFS.

Moon22 · 15/12/2022 21:53

Fill it with more sweets and stuff if you're really at a loss.
You could be a bit more creative with gifting the money/vouchers... wrap them up somehow, buy him a wallet and fill it, buy one of those puzzles where you have to break out the cash?

crispsandnuts · 15/12/2022 21:57

Edibles, Pringles, favourite drinks, daft mug, magazine, wallet,

redbigbananafeet · 15/12/2022 21:57

This thread makes me sad. You are backtracking saying he's getting loads. You initially were unable to fill a sticking for your own child.

marvellousmaple · 15/12/2022 21:59

What on earth does " I don't think she ever had any Christmas magic' mean? This all sounds barmy.
Anyway, get him a new fancy controller for his x-box. Some ear pods. A wallet with cash in it. His fave sauce ( Siracha or whatever). Lollies and gourmet chips.

Yoloohno · 15/12/2022 22:00

Nice toiletries, a good quality shaving kit, sweets, novelty key ring (ds16 liked a Tetris one in primark) stationary bits, chocolates, Nike socks.

TrimTheTree · 15/12/2022 22:00

Please please please don’t do this.
ive seen the fallout in adults from the way they were treated with presents as kids. He would forever feel singled out and unloved if you gave him less presents than others.
he’s a kid, it’s your job to come up with presents. Agree with others that he’s parroting your beliefs that games are a waste of money. Of course they are not and he wants them! Tell all adult gamers that.

PurpleWisteria1 · 15/12/2022 22:00

DobbleBobble · 15/12/2022 21:35

He can't think of presents for himself, I've already thought of about 10 presents for his stocking and from is and family! He has computer games, I could put a voucher in, he will get vouchers from family and he specifically said although he'd like gaming money he thinks it's wasteful. Do you have kids? A computer game voucher is what we give at parties when we can't think of anything better.

I have 2 boys and they have asked for 2 computer game vouchers each from different places!! It’s the first things on their list as they desperately want to choose their own games and have a browse!

marvellousmaple · 15/12/2022 22:03

Oh and a handball, the super bouncy ones to play with at school . At least 3 as they go missing regularly. A cap? Drink bottle.

Upwiththelark76 · 15/12/2022 22:04

Awww please fill up his stocking . Or buy him something that doesn’t fit in a stocking . Buy him the computer game!

Puffalicious · 15/12/2022 22:09

So mean. PP have given lots of great ideas for his stocking. I have DS16 and DS18 and could buy all day for them.

Buying your son some little gifts and buying a gift for a deserving child can BOTH be done.

HollyDollyChristmas · 15/12/2022 22:10

DobbleBobble · 15/12/2022 21:35

He can't think of presents for himself, I've already thought of about 10 presents for his stocking and from is and family! He has computer games, I could put a voucher in, he will get vouchers from family and he specifically said although he'd like gaming money he thinks it's wasteful. Do you have kids? A computer game voucher is what we give at parties when we can't think of anything better.

Terrible idea, some suggestions:

Bluetooth speaker
Headphones
Firestick
Water bottle
Skateboard
Record player
Portable charger
Fancy controller for his console
Rucksack

mewkins · 15/12/2022 22:12

If in doubt wrap up snacks and sweets that are his favourite. My dd would be happy with a giant bag of tortilla chips. Also, stuff like post it notes, sharpie pens etc, a mag lite, keyring, poster for bedroom?

OldFan · 15/12/2022 22:13

I think it's taking it a bit far OP.

He can say there's not much he wants in particular but that doesn't mean he won't appreciate some things to unwrap, as the younger one has more.

That level of altruism has to be voluntary @DobbleBobble .

SophiaTheFifth · 15/12/2022 22:14

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

SmileyClare · 15/12/2022 22:14

Hes always been full of Christmas magic…my 8 year old, she’s never had the Christmas magic

what does this mean?

OldFan · 15/12/2022 22:14

And it's not voluntary if you present it as a fait accompli. It comes across as you couldn't be bothered getting something and are using him not being able to come up with something as an excuse.

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 15/12/2022 22:14

DobbleBobble · 15/12/2022 21:10

I have 14 and 8 year olds, both get stockings and (small-ish) Santa presents plus presents / money from family. 14 year old has always been full of Christmas magic, never had a conversation about no Santa, last time he asked was 4 years ago and I just reminded him how much he loves the build up and if he doesn't believe he will lose that (8 year old has never questioned, I don't think she ever had any Christmas magic although she still loves the holiday and is my best bet for watching a Christmas film).

So, scene set, my 14 year old doesn't want anything for Christmas, there are a couple of things he wants but to do with computer games and he is very aware that it's all a rip off and he doesn't really want to spend money on it. He has chocs, a t-shirt and a couple of things he might like plus money and probably a computer voucher from family, but his stocking is quite empty (compared with sisters and previous years) and I'm thinking rather than trying to fill it I put a note from Santa (obviously he knows that is me although we haven't discussed it) saying he's growing up, nice to see he appreciates what he has, stocking a bit empty, no child should be without gifts so hope he likes what has been chosen for him and Santa has given an extra gift of xxx to a child whose family can't treat them like his can.

I feel happy with that and I think he would be but what do you think, is it Christmas ruined for a 14 year old and what on earth do I do instead if it is?

Fill his stocking up, nice gifting to others, as long as all your children go it.

TheOrigRights · 15/12/2022 22:15

there are a couple of things he wants but to do with computer games and he is very aware that it's all a rip off and he doesn't really want to spend money on it.

Does he want these computer-related things or not? If they are presents then it's not his money to worry about. I realise that sounds materialistic, and we should be proud when our children start to learn the value of money, but this is why we give presents - to get them those special things we might not buy ourselves.
Or are these things absolute tat that have just been well marketed and he's realised that.

Pushmepullu · 15/12/2022 22:18

28 year old son has finally moved out. Unfortunately he has left a lot of ‘stuff’ in his old bedroom, most of it presents from Christmases past. Toiletries he didn’t like the smell of, shirts, T-shirts and jumpers he didn’t like, games he played once. When I asked him what he wanted doing with it all, he told me to dump it, he hadn’t asked for it and so felt no connection to it and therefore no obligation to keep it. At 14 your son doesn’t believe in FC, and if he does I’m sure his classmates will put him right. Give him money that he can either buy what he wants with or save it for something later.

Morticiathegreat · 15/12/2022 22:19

Why not give some gaming money? It doesn’t have to be a lot. I guess it’s a ‘waste of money’ depending on what you value. If he gets to have fun buying some new gear for his character or whatever it is, why not.
I often give my DCs a few vbux or Roblox in their stocking.
A gift should be something you enjoy, that you probably wouldn’t buy for yourself. After all - Chocolate gets eaten, bath bombs get used, candles get burnt! I am sure you wouldn’t object to getting any of those things.
I see gaming money as a similar thing, a non-essential bit of fun.