Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this an awful present for a 14 year old?

271 replies

DobbleBobble · 15/12/2022 21:10

I have 14 and 8 year olds, both get stockings and (small-ish) Santa presents plus presents / money from family. 14 year old has always been full of Christmas magic, never had a conversation about no Santa, last time he asked was 4 years ago and I just reminded him how much he loves the build up and if he doesn't believe he will lose that (8 year old has never questioned, I don't think she ever had any Christmas magic although she still loves the holiday and is my best bet for watching a Christmas film).

So, scene set, my 14 year old doesn't want anything for Christmas, there are a couple of things he wants but to do with computer games and he is very aware that it's all a rip off and he doesn't really want to spend money on it. He has chocs, a t-shirt and a couple of things he might like plus money and probably a computer voucher from family, but his stocking is quite empty (compared with sisters and previous years) and I'm thinking rather than trying to fill it I put a note from Santa (obviously he knows that is me although we haven't discussed it) saying he's growing up, nice to see he appreciates what he has, stocking a bit empty, no child should be without gifts so hope he likes what has been chosen for him and Santa has given an extra gift of xxx to a child whose family can't treat them like his can.

I feel happy with that and I think he would be but what do you think, is it Christmas ruined for a 14 year old and what on earth do I do instead if it is?

OP posts:
BatshitBanshee · 15/12/2022 21:40

Does he really not want computer games because ‘it’s all a rip off’ or have you made it clear that’s your opinion, and he’s parroting what he thinks you want to hear?

Agree with @SilverGlassHare - this is exactly what it sounds like, repeating the words of a parent.

WishIhadacrystalball · 15/12/2022 21:41

DobbleBobble · 15/12/2022 21:35

He can't think of presents for himself, I've already thought of about 10 presents for his stocking and from is and family! He has computer games, I could put a voucher in, he will get vouchers from family and he specifically said although he'd like gaming money he thinks it's wasteful. Do you have kids? A computer game voucher is what we give at parties when we can't think of anything better.

He shouldn’t need to think of presents for himself! Yes children can ask for things but parents should know their children well enough to know if they’d like Nike trainers or a Harry Potter onesie 🤔

youtwoandme · 15/12/2022 21:42

Yes, that is an awful present. Filing a stocking with things such as:

Greggs Gift Card
Toiletries
Nike socks
Phone accessories (power bank, charger etc)
Hot chocolate bombs
Anything food
Etc

Is easy!
He sounds like a thoughtful boy. Reward him with gifts, not a poxy letter from "Santa" which you have coerced him into still believing.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 15/12/2022 21:43

Sorry but as an actual Christmas Day experience I think waking up to be told you’re getting a few cheap gifts and money has been spent on someone else (but your sister still gets loads) is bordering on cruel.

Also give up the jig with Santa. You’ve effectively told him not believing = no presents. He’s 14, he’s almost old enough to vote, completely silly to still pretend.

PingPongMerrilyWithPie · 15/12/2022 21:43

I would stick to having roughly the same number of things in his stocking as his sister. If they've got 10 things each then leave it there, if he's got fewer things then pad them out with marshmallows, chocolate, popcorn, can of drink etc.

The buying another gift for someone else is a lovely thought but why not choose it with him and give it from you all, as a family? Then he will feel more ownership of it.

FlyingPandas · 15/12/2022 21:43

The other thing I do OP is buy some gifts to pad out the stockings which may or may not be a hit with my own DC, but which will be good to donate to charity if they end up being unused and unopened.

We have loads of charities locally who collect new/unopened gifts to include in hampers for struggling families at Christmas, for example. The home-school link worker in the school I work in also keeps what she calls a 'birthday bag' - basically small new gifts that she keeps to give to some of our parents who might be struggling so much financially that they cannot afford to buy birthday gifts for their DC when the time comes. So when I buy 'stocking tat', in the back of my mind I'm thinking 'well, if DS2 doesn't actually use that then it'll be great to donate for the birthday bag'.

Obviously I don't take any unopened gifts to donate without the DC's permission but we will go through stuff together during the year and they agree what they are happy to give away. That, then, is a perfect opportunity to talk about children who have so little compared to what they have, and to donate gifts accordingly. My DC are really receptive to that. But the stocking tradition remains important to them. Tbh I think even my 18yo would privately be quietly gutted if there was no stocking of gifts for him on Christmas morning.

Cosycover · 15/12/2022 21:43

He wants the gaming voucher

TheNewSchmoo · 15/12/2022 21:43

Gosh that is mean. You can fill a stocking from a supermarket trip, so it isn't that much of an effort for you!

Athenen0ctua · 15/12/2022 21:44

How big is this stocking that ten presents doesn't fill it? How about a Toblerone?

BT11 · 15/12/2022 21:44

Starbucks voucher?

parietal · 15/12/2022 21:45

my 14 year old is getting a tin of Pringles with santa on (in all the shops at the moment) to fill up the stocking.

babynobbaby · 15/12/2022 21:45

Is there any tickets for things he would like? Music or theatre or theme park? Day out somewhere? Sporting event

I have got musical tickets for both kids as they expressed an interest in seeing lore shows next year

What's he in to? If he's not in to anything then it's a perfect opportunity to introduce some new things he might like? Part of parenting is showing our kids different things and see what they like

LadyB49 · 15/12/2022 21:46

This makes me sad.
please make-up the best stocking ever using the ideas listed above, and do so every year regardless of his age.

Belledan1 · 15/12/2022 21:46

My 15 year old having mainly money and few clothes but stocking fillers I have got is A just eat voucher to get take out, slipper socks, showerel gel, chocolate. He likes to cook so I got some nandos sauces in a set. Also got a poster of a rock band he likes.

Oliol · 15/12/2022 21:46

BatshitBanshee · 15/12/2022 21:40

Does he really not want computer games because ‘it’s all a rip off’ or have you made it clear that’s your opinion, and he’s parroting what he thinks you want to hear?

Agree with @SilverGlassHare - this is exactly what it sounds like, repeating the words of a parent.

Yep.

OP, you can see that there are loads of good ideas here. My 14 year old nephew has got a magnetic sculpture thing and a Rubik-cube type magnetic box thing that I don't fully understand, but looks cool, from us.

It sounds a bit like you can't be arsed with it, tbh!

Multipleexclamationmarks · 15/12/2022 21:46

Another saying awful idea! and you're his mum you should be able to think of stuff he'd like.
In stocking my ds 13 has comedy toilet roll, poo stress toy, lynx, stationary, greggs voucher, christmas pants and socks, chocolate.

If you want to give to charity fine, but this idea of donating on his behalf is bloody awful.

strawberriesplease · 15/12/2022 21:47

I think Op has the message by now.

Crap idea

Oliol · 15/12/2022 21:47

What's he in to? If he's not in to anything then it's a perfect opportunity to introduce some new things he might like? Part of parenting is showing our kids different things and see what they like

This is really excellent point. I'm carrying that thought forward with me.

Frostine · 15/12/2022 21:48

Easy to find gifts he might enjoy but doesn't know it yet . A rubix cube , a voucher for his favourite fast food place . A daft / funny pair of socks . Some nice shower gel.

NinjaWarriorCooker · 15/12/2022 21:48

This is awful but mine (much older and a hark
back to teenage years) have got a pot noodle cracker! With three full size pot noodles 😂

ChristmasCwtch · 15/12/2022 21:48

That’s awful. You can fill a stocking after a wander around Tesco/Asda. It’s really not that hard!!

longestlurkerever · 15/12/2022 21:48

I think op means in-game currency for buying items, outfits for an avatar etc, rather than computer games.

Worriere · 15/12/2022 21:49

Oh i remember the absolute joy of finding a full heavy stocking at the bottom of my bed ❤️ surely you can look for a few bits. B and M have loads of xbox branded stuff.

rippleraspberry · 15/12/2022 21:50

He wants computer games but "thinks it's a rip off"?

Isn't christmas a chance for someone to get that for him then?

(Also why does he think it's a rip off? Computer games are a perfectly normal thing for a 14 year old to want... sounds like he might be parroting his parents/ other adults here?)

I'd get him what he wants.

Don't give to charity on his behalf, that's a rubbish gift. Give to charity for yourself if you want to.

speakout · 15/12/2022 21:50

My mother is 89 and races down the stirs to get her stocking on christmas morning.

14 is a great age for gifts- as other have said think of what he enjoys, but also open up to new ideas.
Something related to cooking or DIY?