Is this an awful present for a 14 year old?

[DobbleBobble]

I have 14 and 8 year olds, both get stockings and (small-ish) Santa presents plus presents / money from family. 14 year old has always been full of Christmas magic, never had a conversation about no Santa, last time he asked was 4 years ago and I just reminded him how much he loves the build up and if he doesn't believe he will lose that (8 year old has never questioned, I don't think she ever had any Christmas magic although she still loves the holiday and is my best bet for watching a Christmas film).

So, scene set, my 14 year old doesn't want anything for Christmas, there are a couple of things he wants but to do with computer games and he is very aware that it's all a rip off and he doesn't really want to spend money on it. He has chocs, a t-shirt and a couple of things he might like plus money and probably a computer voucher from family, but his stocking is quite empty (compared with sisters and previous years) and I'm thinking rather than trying to fill it I put a note from Santa (obviously he knows that is me although we haven't discussed it) saying he's growing up, nice to see he appreciates what he has, stocking a bit empty, no child should be without gifts so hope he likes what has been chosen for him and Santa has given an extra gift of xxx to a child whose family can't treat them like his can.

I feel happy with that and I think he would be but what do you think, is it Christmas ruined for a 14 year old and what on earth do I do instead if it is?

I have got my 15yr old.

Magazine subscription, driving experience, fake Oodie, david beckham instinct, phone chargers, ps4 games, chocolate, sweets, branded clothing -Hoodrich, Nike. Power pack, Notch

Nah, the stuff being suggested isn't wasteful at all. Snacks. Pens. Phone chargers. Toothbrush. Toiletries. Underwear and socks. All useful things that you have to buy throughout the year anyway!

That’s total garbage. Get him something you can do together, it doesn’t have to be expensive just keep looking and fill up that stocking for him.

My son is 15 and in his stocking is getting bulldog shower gel and shampoo and loreal men skin care with a plethora of lynx, bottle of aftershave and some lindt truffles because all of the above are on offer at boots currently 😂

Boots seems better than superdrug this year for lads.
I remember at his age the boys were quite grubby, now days they're all stealing their mums lush sets 😂

I understand you wanted to do something charitable and that's very sweet, but even if he doesn't seem to want anything at least if it's useful and something to open, that'll be much less anticlimactic for him than the letter.

It's a bullshit story that you both know is bull, so why bother?? It very twee. Just put some small bits in his stocking, socks, chocolates etc

I'm 32, and have told my parents I'm struggling to think of presents, and if they sent me a letter on Christmas morning saying they'd donated to someone else instead I would be very irate indeed.

He's a child. Stuff his stocking with crisps, chocolate, popcorn, razors, aftershave, underwear, hair gel, a disposable camera, spare phone chargers, spare headphones, spare power bank, pens. It doesn't have to be remotely expensive, all of these things are £2 and under in B&M, Poundstretcher etc.

Old school Battleships game. Jigsaw puzzle (family effort to complete - something to do together). Little bags of haribo or supermarket sweets. Hot chocolate sachets.

Oh maybe I found out how to reply properly now. Exactly this! He has all the gaming equipment and games he wants. I admit to pointing out quite how much he spent on Fortnite bucks a few years ago and he took it to heart. I put a limit on in-game spends but it was him who decided to practically stop it.

At first I thought it was a ridiculous idea… but thinking back to when I was that age, I often asked for money to be donated to charity instead, as there wasn’t really anything I wanted that much. I don’t remember a lot of the presents I had for Christmas growing up, but I do remember one year when my parents donated £50 to charity in my name, it was a good feeling. Maybe you could do the same? You know your child better than any person on Mumsnet.

I think your gesture to gift another child is lovely, and it will show your DS Christmas is about helping others too, but I'd suggest you write and sign the note from you.

How about a shaving kit? Is he there yet? Honestly I am glad you are rethinking this. There are lots of things you could get him that aren’t just filler. Although I do sympathize with that age being hard to think of things for.

Here’s my hint though… after doing years of stockings and DIY advent calendars for that age up to adults, they still like silly things. Yes, I have pictures of grown men and women playing with a Dinosaur that growled when you shot it’s stomach with a nerf gun when I included one in the Fire Department Christmas Stocking.

He will get a gaming voucher to use as he wants, it just seems like a cop out to put it in his stocking.

You haven’t mentioned money constraints so I’m just going to be polite and say buy him some more bloody presents!

I think your gesture to gift another child is lovely, and it will show your DS Christmas is about helping others too

Of course it's a lovely sentiment. No one would argue otherwise. But if the OP is modelling charitable and thoughtful behaviour all year round, it doesn't need to take the place of a special, well-thought out Christmas gift to her DS.

If this charitable gift is a one-off and no one in the house ever mentions giving to those less fortunate for the rest of the year, it's an empty gesture at the OP's son's expense.

thinking back to when I was that age, I often asked for money to be donated to charity instead

@Istolethecookies Yes but you asked for that sort of thing to be done. He hasn't.

@DobbleBobble You could always ask, say, a week after Christmas so they've had time to think about it and don't feel like they're saying the wrong thing about your gifts, whether there's anything they got that they don't think they'll use, and you could give the things to a DV shelter or something. Smellies and stuff will be of use to people even when it's not Christmas.

Buy him a computer game. It's obvious that's what her really wants.

His sister has a couple of extra things in her stocking (one is a book - oldest won't read a cereal packet, I've tried everything and resigned myself to audible) and he said the words (it's unusual for him to actually say recognisable words) that he has everything he wants.

Jeez, just get him a Game voucher. That’s what he really wants and that’s what he’d get the most joy from. It’s not what you want, and you think it’s a rip off, but it’s no more a waste of money than going to the cinema or a trampoline park. You’re buying an an experience.

Teens are well-known for feeling hard done to..

I bought slightly nicer toiletries when 14.. to make him feel more grown up .

Facial wash. We are approaching spotty age.

I bought my ds a light up charger.

Designer pants ( Tk max perfect) great for Pe days.

I never did a stocking from Santa. Just put some of the smaller gifts in.

Not really sure why you wouldn’t fill it up with a few edibles and toiletries, hair gel, favourite crisps, an orange. Not tricky really. Or wasteful. Just get stuff he would use anyway.

So, scene set, my 14 year old doesn't want anything for Christmas, there are a couple of things he wants but to do with computer games and he is very aware that it's all a rip off and he doesn't really want to spend money on it

and he said the words (it's unusual for him to actually say recognisable words) that he has everything he wants

He's gonna get that note, isn't he?

This. And this again.
why can’t you buy him some gifts?
it’s so sad and cringy.
no one would seriously do this would they? It’s a joke? Another troll? Must be

And I don't know where you got cheap gifts from, they're not, it's the small one that gets the cheap fillers which is exactly my point here. I don't want to buy him cheap fillers because he's old enough to know better. I also absolutely never suggested to him that he wouldn't get presents, most come from family and friends anyway, thats quite a leap.

This is the perfect time to stock him up on socks, pants, and smellies.

It's not the gift, it's the thought.

Definitely getting the note I reckon!
Stockings aren't about good expensive gifts, they are about the bulky feel of it at the bottom of your bed!!