To think four present rule seems a bit mean?

[antelopevalley]

I mean you do you.
But secretly I do think it is a bit mean. Although you probably would think we are tacky as our children have a big wrapped pile of presents at Christmas.

😂

Mine get one main present from us. They get pyjamas and a book for Xmas eve. They have their stocking with nice things in not tat but I guess they don't have piles of presents to unwrap and they've not complained. Family give them presents too. But I don't give clothes for presents as they just get those as and when they need them.

I must be in the minority... Im not buying my daughter anything. She's only 9 months, I figure it's the only year we'll get away with it. I can't really understand loads of presents. 4 seems plenty if just from parents, as I imagine she'll get loads more from other people.

We do way more than most on this thread it would seem! Mine are 6, 4 and 1 so their presents are not really very expensive, £13 for a Polly Pocket, £3.50 for Minnie mouse nail polish, £20 for Magformers, £4 for spy glasses, that sort of thing. They're not getting anything massively expensive. Perhaps when it is laptops and driving lessons it will be different.

I really can't imagine them only having one present! That would look so sparse.

My 1 year was great to buy for - 90% of her stuff came from the local children's charity shop, all in brilliant condition.

But its not actually a 'rule'. Noone is enforcing it. Its a bit of doggerel that parents can stick to or not as they please. All this hand-wringing and fake sanctimony is a load of posturing.

Quality not quantity.

@TheKeatingFive we're similar, I hate that sanctimonious rhyme too!
It really depends on so many factors, how many children you have - 4 presents x 4 children under the tree looks impressive even though not all for one individual. Plus how many other family members / friends buy for them too. What your cultural expectations and experiences of Christmas are and what you want to pass onto your children. What your family disposable income is. Whether you buy some things as and when they're needed through out the year or save it all up for Christmas etc etc

We have 1 child and only 2 extended family members who buy for them. We've always leaned towards the excessive side of Christmas too, as was my upbringing - though not dh's, he's fully embraced my way of doing things.

I think it's a terribly twee middle class MN English way of celebrating Christmas, always conscious of no working class vulgarity of an excess of presents. It's not for me.
And my dc has never been given a 'pile of tat' to bulk up present numbers. we buy things they will use and love - just more of them! My dc has never been 'overwhelmed' by the presents, nor have they 'sat and rotted forgotten in a playroom (which we don't have)

All toys were played with and enjoyed. We now have a teen and all presents are things they will love and appreciate.

Our parents bought us what seemed like a lot of toys but we didn’t get anything from relatives. Mother’s were dead, Father’s childless brother and sister and parents never gave us anything, though they weren’t poor.
But apart from Christmas and birthday we rarely got gifts at other times ( A bit hard when one’s birthday is at Christmas because it’s such a long wait).

Mine only get one main present, and perhaps three smaller stocking presents -eg, one is getting an umbrella as a stocking present. They don’t get any other presents from relatives. They’re teens now. When they were younger, they would have still got one main present, but perhaps ten stocking presents that would include socks etc. Getting one present from your parents seems normal to me.

Tbh I think it’s terrible but then I think something to wear and something to read are not gifts but pending necessities. If you can’t afford it then fair enough but like PP have said it’s usually the better off who seem to do it?!

*parenting necessities

Quite a few on here would have lived happily in Puritan times.

As a child we used to get much fewer presents than seems to be the norm for many today - not strictly the 4 present rule but not far off. We did get a stocking, but again quite simple, think new toothbrush & tooth paste, socks, bubble bath, chocolate coins and a tangerine. I can still remember many of those presents because I valued them.

Of course people should celebrate the way that they choose. I merely meant it the sense that it’s useful to have a common frame of reference when discussing something. Some people like to know what others are doing (how many presents for Santa, gifts for teachers, etc.) this time of year because they find it useful.

The only thing my 9 year old has asked for this Christmas is the box set of the next series of her favourite books. It’s £35 so I can’t afford to just buy it as a random gift. We usually get her books from the library but she wants to own the whole collection of these. Didn’t realise buying books for Christmas was seen as a bad thing! I always loved getting books as a child (and still do).

We kind of follow it with our two year old, she was the only grandchild on both side of the family and has a two sets of great grandparents on one side. She gets absolutely masses of presents, to the point we’ve had to ask for less because we genuinely nowhere to store them all.

I do loosely this actually and I'm not mean. They also have a stocking full of little bits. Plus 3 sets of grandparents and 8 pairs of aunts and uncles that spoil them as well. Subsequently they do have piles of presents each under the tree come Christmas morning.

They get something they've chosen like a main toy or console, something they need which is usually also something they want like a new bag or boot or even some posh toiletries (as they do need to wash), a new outfit that they also get to choose and then a special book or set. They are well loved children and I take offence at being branded mean for not filling my house with useless, mass produced tat just to make me look good. We are not high earners but we do everything we can to provide a lovely lifestyle for our children.

Christmas isn't about getting as many presents as you can. We have a lovely time with family, enjoying good food and good company. Thankfully my children are able to appreciate how lucky they are to be loved by their family as well as having a few treats at Christmas, as well as throughout the year.

Yes. The OP was v thoughtful to start a thread to pointlessly sneer discuss it.

Yabu. Want, need, wear, read works really well for my teens. Their 'want' is always money so that's one less thing for me to wrap.
They still gets a stocking of nice bits so they aren't deprived.

I've bought my DC 3 presents each. So when they come down on Christmas morning there'll be a whole 6 things under the tree. (Plus stockings with 7/8 things in)

Actually that's a lie. There'll also be the ones we've bought to give to others. But there will be 6 things to be opened by us.

I don't consciously do a set amount of presents, but my girls will have 5 (I think?) presents from Father Christmas to open, plus an handful of other bits from distant family/friends.
I, personally, wouldn't do an huge pile of presents, even if I had the money. Being poor means I put a lot of thought into a few decent presents that the girls have wanted for a while.
I honestly don't give a flying fuck what other families do, nor does it concern me how others might view how I approach Christmas.

@WaddleAway honestly, in the real world, buying books for children as gifts isn't seen as a bad thing at all. I've always done it, my parents have always done it, my friends and their parents have always done it. Please don't be upset by that posters ignorant comments. I'm sure your daughter will appreciate her book collection.

We are somewhere in the middle I think. We do try to limit presents a bit, but are not puritanical about it.

The kids get some useful presents, usually from older relatives who like buying them things like clothes or kit for activities.

We always do three main things from Santa, plus a stocking and then we get them one or two main presents from us plus some useful stuff, like an outfit to wear on Christmas day or craft supplies. I think most kids I know still get useful stuff like pants, pjs and socks at Christmas. Not mind blowingly entertaining for sure, but it still seems to be part of it.

I don't salivate over "the lurrrrrrvly big pile of pressies" and nor would I like my DCs to have a strict 4 present limit with poem for guidance. I find both ideas quite cringey, but each to their own

DS 16 usually got that many from me as we were poor when he was younger. So a lego set that would be £30-£40 now, some colouring pencils, pyjamas, book, sort of thing. I found it difficult to save up things I needed to buy anyway for Christmas as he did actually need them earlier. Even now, he had a couple of pairs of new pyjama bottoms a couple of weeks ago. I couldn't have wrapped them up as he didn't have any warm nightwear and it's bloody cold now!

We are still a low single income working class family now. DS is having a tablet (replacing a 10 year old ipad) and a case for it this year, then just some chocolate so far. Web cam from grandparents. I would normally spend £100 in recent years, so I am spending more this year.

I think it's insensitive to call fewer presents 'mean', not everyone can afford huge piles of presents, especially right now.

@WaddleAway books as a Christmas present is lovely, we buy box set books and more expensive sets for Christmas and birthdays too. But with a combination of other stuff.

Everyone is different but I’m 33 and still receive more than four presents from Mum and Dad! Christmas is special and I feel I want to give as much as I can. Not massive piles by any means but not four things, one of which is required by law (clothes) and one of which I buy all year round (books).

I repeat, everyone is different. The thread asked for opinions.