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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think hot tubs are awkward

112 replies

Cinderellla · 11/12/2022 22:28

A friend keeps inviting me round to hers for a meal and evening, I keep making excuses because she wants me to join her and her husband in the hot tub in their garden. I don’t know why but I just find it really awkward. The hot tub is quite small and I just imagine it would feel like sharing a bath with her and her husband😳. I also am not 100% body confident and the thought of wondering around her garden/house in a bikini also makes me cringe (plus it’s really bloody cold at the moment!)…🫣

Am I being unreasonable to feel awkward about this? If I do go is there any hot tub etiquette I should know about?

OP posts:
FinalPushh · 11/12/2022 22:29

Just say you are happy to join them for meal etc but you are not going in the hot tub? Just say no to the hot tub Smile

Yarrawonga · 11/12/2022 22:30

You don’t have to wear a bikini.

tikkititi · 11/12/2022 22:30

Avoid it if you can!

A relatively new friend years ago made me do this and the whole thing was just fucking odd. Traipsing across the garden from their 'wet room' in a borrowed dressing gown to sit in a hot tub in their garden in fucking January. Just no.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 11/12/2022 22:31

They are minging in my opinion. Don’t get cleaned often enough and the main cause of legionnaires disease.
I have a skin condition so a very easy out, could you make up an excuse like chlorine makes you itch?!

AlwaysLatte · 11/12/2022 22:32

I find this a really weird idea. Go and have a bath in a garden with another couple? No thank you!

Original poster
Cinderellla · 11/12/2022 22:35

AlwaysLatte · 11/12/2022 22:32

I find this a really weird idea. Go and have a bath in a garden with another couple? No thank you!

I know right! … Why has this become a socially acceptable thing🤨

OP posts:
ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner · 11/12/2022 22:35

Hot tubs are grim.

Tell her you can't get in as you've had a verruca outbreak or athletes foot!

Or just say you'll go for dinner but no thanks to the hot tub, it's bloody weird!

Fusciainertia · 11/12/2022 22:37

I think it would be absolutely fine to say "oh that'll be nice to have dinner and drinks at yours but I'll leave the hot tub thanks. It's just not my thing"

I'd love going in a hot tub but defo not as the third person with a couple.

chevvyroo · 11/12/2022 22:38

Yep. Weird and unhygienic Envy

MakkaPakkas · 11/12/2022 22:38

Just say you're too English to share a hot tub and go for a meal instead

IfIGoThereWillBeTrouble · 11/12/2022 22:38

If they have got pampas grass in the front garden, say no to the hot tub!😂

Original poster
Cinderellla · 11/12/2022 22:38

IfIGoThereWillBeTrouble · 11/12/2022 22:38

If they have got pampas grass in the front garden, say no to the hot tub!😂

Why? 🤣

OP posts:
BadLad · 11/12/2022 22:41

Lynn, these are sex people.

Pineapplebread · 11/12/2022 22:42

I love hot tubs but being the odd one out with a couple sounds awful and like they want to invite you for a 3 sum.

PurpleButterflyWings · 11/12/2022 22:42

BadLad · 11/12/2022 22:41

Lynn, these are sex people.

😂

Crabwoman · 11/12/2022 22:42

Just explain that you don't like them - lots of people don't for a variety of reasons. Surely she won't take offence at that and just offer dinner?

If you need an excuse otherwise than just saying " I don't want to" then just say that hot tub chemicals give you terrible eczema/dermatitis and whilst you'd love to go round for dinner, you'll have to give the hot tub a miss.

autienotnaughty · 11/12/2022 22:42

I did it once. Yes its weird. Not a fan of hot tub's really as they are not very clean. I'd say no.

Itsabitnotcold · 11/12/2022 22:43

I love a hot tub when its cold out. Bit I would only share one with someone I'd bath with.

Changechangychange · 11/12/2022 22:44

Fusciainertia · 11/12/2022 22:37

I think it would be absolutely fine to say "oh that'll be nice to have dinner and drinks at yours but I'll leave the hot tub thanks. It's just not my thing"

I'd love going in a hot tub but defo not as the third person with a couple.

This. I quite like the idea of a hot tub (I like hot springs, I like outdoor swimming, I assume a hot tub is the closest I can get to either in my back garden). But I wouldn’t want to sit in one with my friend and her husband, unless it is literally a swimming pool sized one.

failedmydog · 11/12/2022 22:47

Love this!

We are weird hot tub sex people have a pampas grass planted next to ours (as a joke)

We generally don't invite single friends to join us though, that is a bit weird and I'd decline.

We most have friends round, other couples or bigger groups and whoever fancies a dip can go in but zero pressure from us.

It's not everyone's cup of tea, but we are rural and have the amazing night sky with no light pollution and no cover so having drinks and sitting back is the key.

Having one in your back garden overlooked by Janet and Paul next door is a bit odd.

We also drain and clean ours and use all the correct chemicals, not a fan of killing our friends with diseases.

But humm I'd decline a couple inviting me alone as there is always fumbling going on.

Byfleet · 11/12/2022 22:47

Yuck. Human soup.

Apart from the unhygienic nature of it it’s also just plain weird. If you wouldn’t have a bath with someone, why would you go in a hot tub with them. And then there’s the whole thing of exposing your body. It’s so awkward.

Tell them you can’t because you have a skin condition.

SheldonsShoulder · 11/12/2022 22:50

That is weird. I think some people see hot tubs in the garden as an upper class luxury but I don’t like them. I don’t fancy my neighbours watching me in my swimsuit, getting into a shared bath in my garden.

Winterscomingagain · 11/12/2022 22:53

I was in one recently at a spa and marvelled at how it didn't have the usual chlorine smell. After peeing blood for 2 days with a soaring temperature I'd be very cautious about getting into one again.

sausage767 · 11/12/2022 22:54

failedmydog · 11/12/2022 22:47

Love this!

We are weird hot tub sex people have a pampas grass planted next to ours (as a joke)

We generally don't invite single friends to join us though, that is a bit weird and I'd decline.

We most have friends round, other couples or bigger groups and whoever fancies a dip can go in but zero pressure from us.

It's not everyone's cup of tea, but we are rural and have the amazing night sky with no light pollution and no cover so having drinks and sitting back is the key.

Having one in your back garden overlooked by Janet and Paul next door is a bit odd.

We also drain and clean ours and use all the correct chemicals, not a fan of killing our friends with diseases.

But humm I'd decline a couple inviting me alone as there is always fumbling going on.

Wow, you’re so much like us, including the rural/night sky part.

My DH and I love the hot tub. We’d never pressure guests to get in with us, most usually we leave houseguests to get in on their own without our company. Or not get in at all, whatever they feel like.

Usually it’s me and my bestie in there chatting and sipping wine while our DH’s do something else.

CidleyDidley · 11/12/2022 22:54

Nope. I just can't see the attraction of hot tubs in the garden. At the gym or in a spa, absolutely fine. Years ago I heard a joke about a hot tub and it still makes me cringe. 😂