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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think hot tubs are awkward

112 replies

Cinderellla · 11/12/2022 22:28

A friend keeps inviting me round to hers for a meal and evening, I keep making excuses because she wants me to join her and her husband in the hot tub in their garden. I don’t know why but I just find it really awkward. The hot tub is quite small and I just imagine it would feel like sharing a bath with her and her husband😳. I also am not 100% body confident and the thought of wondering around her garden/house in a bikini also makes me cringe (plus it’s really bloody cold at the moment!)…🫣

Am I being unreasonable to feel awkward about this? If I do go is there any hot tub etiquette I should know about?

OP posts:
PawPaworPapaya · 12/12/2022 00:57

Don't let it stop you going over for dinner! Go, have a nice time, and then if they invite you into the hot tub, just say "no thank you". That's when you go home. If they pressure you after you've said no, then I can only assume they are angling for a threesome...

Whatifthegrassisblue · 12/12/2022 01:06

IfIGoThereWillBeTrouble · 11/12/2022 22:38

If they have got pampas grass in the front garden, say no to the hot tub!😂

Ha ha, this!!! 🙈

catinboots123 · 12/12/2022 01:07

One and only time we went to quite a large hot tub party, DS2 (about 9 at the time) developed hot tub folliculitus.

I suggest you Google it. I would never dip a toe in one ever again.

TheaBrandt · 12/12/2022 01:12

Love ours wouldn’t invite others in it though. My family use it at their request and occasionally have a girls night and we go in it but would feel uncomfortable in a mixed sex group using it somehow. Plus I’m quite precious about it quite happy not to have others in it!

Busybutbored · 12/12/2022 01:15

If she keeps asking, I'd be a bit sus! Just say yes to dinner, but no to the hot tub

BigChesterDraws · 12/12/2022 01:46

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 11/12/2022 22:31

They are minging in my opinion. Don’t get cleaned often enough and the main cause of legionnaires disease.
I have a skin condition so a very easy out, could you make up an excuse like chlorine makes you itch?!

You obviously have never owned one. They have a filter that runs constantly, cleaning the water. We have one and a pool. I guarantee they are cleaner than any public pool.

tabulahrasa · 12/12/2022 01:57

We stayed in a holiday rental that had one once, DP asked DS if he was coming in the family bath...

I’ve bit been able to go in one since, he made it sound so weird 😂

rafanadalsarms · 12/12/2022 02:07

BadLad · 11/12/2022 22:41

Lynn, these are sex people.

😂😂😂l❤️

avamiah · 12/12/2022 02:32

BadLad · 11/12/2022 22:41

Lynn, these are sex people.

I’m laughing to myself at 2.30 am 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I can’t even remember the last time something so funny made me laugh.

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 12/12/2022 04:06

To me they are a giant hot bidet. No thanks!

MackenCheese · 12/12/2022 04:20

Not the point of this thread, but it reminds me when I went for a short break in Germany last month. The hotel rules were you had to be completely naked to use the jacuzzi (and if you got in with your swimsuit a little woman came running over to ask you to get out 😂) . I did shudder when complete strangers, including a man and his 12 year old daughter got in. Grim indeed. I'm clearly far too British to cope with that!

CrownTheTurkey · 12/12/2022 04:54

Just say no thanks. You don't have to bloody explain yourself.

kingtamponthefurred · 12/12/2022 05:10

Yes to dinner, no to skinflake soup.

HairyMcLarie · 12/12/2022 05:52

We have a hot tub (most people where I live do) and. We often ask people if they'd like a spa after dinner. 50/50 with most people. They don't have to explain themselves. A 'nah' is sufficient for us.

Ours is kept meticulously clean and sparkling though and is extremely high range with constant high filtration (not a stealth boast it came with the house). Those nasty blow ups or cheap models some people int be Uk have though are gross.

Isitsixoclockalready · 12/12/2022 05:53

BadLad · 11/12/2022 22:41

Lynn, these are sex people.

I'm not going to your sex festival.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 12/12/2022 06:18

I'd say something like...
I went in one once and the combination of the hot water and the smell of chemicals made me vomit in the hot tub. It was really embarrassing and they had to drain it and unclog the filters, and I won't want that to happen to yours.

Buildingthefuture · 12/12/2022 06:33

Agree wholeheartedly op. I hate the things and I do not want to have a bath with friends!!! They cost an absolute fortune to run too. There was one at our house when we bought it but we got rid.

RambamThankyouMam · 12/12/2022 06:44

It's a no from me! Hot tubs are the new pampas grass. An indication of swingery.

Plus, I always hear Jim from Friday Night Dinner saying "hotttt tubbb" in my head Blush

WandaWonder · 12/12/2022 06:55

I don't care how clean it is unless it is the size of an Olympic swimming pool where I don't have to sit that close to people, even dh

I have no issues sitting close to people out of water it is the warm wee feel in an enclosed space I will never get

Sirius3030 · 12/12/2022 07:12

Cinderellla · 11/12/2022 22:35

I know right! … Why has this become a socially acceptable thing🤨

Show quote history

Only with swingers…! Have fun!

Sirius3030 · 12/12/2022 07:19

MackenCheese · 12/12/2022 04:20

Not the point of this thread, but it reminds me when I went for a short break in Germany last month. The hotel rules were you had to be completely naked to use the jacuzzi (and if you got in with your swimsuit a little woman came running over to ask you to get out 😂) . I did shudder when complete strangers, including a man and his 12 year old daughter got in. Grim indeed. I'm clearly far too British to cope with that!

Japan. Many traditional hotels have communal bathing (no bathroom in hotel room). One hotel I stayed in alternated the bathroom gender by hanging a wooden sign on the door, in Japanese. Imagine my surprise on the second day…!
I do have another story but I will have to know you all much better before I tell it…😮😮

NEmama · 12/12/2022 07:20

Dinner sounds nice but I'll pass on the sperm pond 🤮

Themind · 12/12/2022 07:22

Sex pond urrrrgh

mumtumtilly · 12/12/2022 07:25

I absolutely agree, I simply don't get the hype at all. Honestly if I was offeredd a free one I'd pass. I don't even enjoy baths so it's just a ballox show off thing imo

georgarina · 12/12/2022 07:37

I love hot tubs...I come from a southwestern state and it was so nice to sit outside with friends overlooking the canyons under the night sky.

With a friend and her husband I can see how it would be awkward though. I would just make an excuse why you can't.