Bi or pansexual

[dawnfromgavinandstacey]

I've just been blocked by someone that I know via friends and family. They are semi famous.

They are out and gay and happy.

They have just come out on Instagram as pansexual. I have asked how is it different to being bi.

I am bi.

I'm really sorry if I'm offending anyone but to me it's the same.

You like the person. Doesn't matter how they identify you just fancy them. For whatever reason. You just do. You like them.

I've been blocked and asked snottily if I get the difference.

I will be honest. No I don't. You like who you like. Regardless.

What is the difference. You like who you like. Regardless of if they are a a man or or women.

Have I missed something here?

That's exactly what I was thinking. Think it's about Tom from MAFS as that's the first thing that comes up all over Instagram atm

"Linning · Yesterday 23:29

It’s not anymore of a faff than me swiping left on ALL the women who are not my type though? How is it any different in fact? It’s the exact same thing. Except there are way less transwomen in the pool than women who aren’t my type actually…

And also, some people who identify as lesbians do date transwomen, dating apps is a game of swiping through probably 99% of people who aren’t right for you to find that 1%. Transwomen are barely a game changer when they make sooo little of the dating pool. "

So, not lesbians then, and if transwomen are barely a game changer why are actual lesbians having their speech policed, their sexual orientation questioned and being thrown off dating apps?

@LangClegsInSpace
@lifeturnsonadime

My dating apps profile clearly state that I am a lesbian who date “cis-women” and I have yet to be kicked out. As I have said, there is a way to have your profile state what you are without making it discriminatory. The difference is that I have zero objection to transwomen being on these apps, because there is no real “lesbian” dating apps anyway, Most apps targeted at women are apps for queer women, and queer individual which includes bisexual or pansexual women and also not all Transwomen have a penis still. And, just as with any other dating app, it doesn’t require any more effort to swipe left on the maybe 5 transwomen that will pop up on the app amongst the hundreds of women who aren’t
my type and that I have to do the same on.

Based on what you say, lesbians aren’t being kicked out for stating they are lesbians (otherwise me and some of my friends would be kicked out too), they are being removed for asking those apps to remove people just because they disagree they should be there.

ultimately dating apps are private entities. When I go to gay or lesbian bars it would be nice to not have straight people but alas, “Allies” are almost always welcome as are gay men in lesbian places. And as much as it seems unfair we can’t have our own space it’s a well known fact that lesbian spaces and establishments cannot survive solely on lesbian money. Lesbians are the minority of queer women’s group, so by default you need to open up the space to bisexual or pansexual women, but even then most women alone cannot generate enough revenue for such spaces, hence why usually lesbian events are mixed in with gay events and allies are welcome.

I have friends who own and run one of the few existing lesbian bars and while the majority of people going are women (not all queer) they have had to financially make the choice to have events for men and keep it a fairly mixed place with some nights being entirely aimed at women.

Would it be nice if we could truly have our own spaces? Yes. But is it feasible for most businesses (which both bars and dating apps are) to only target lesbians and solely lesbians? No. You just have to ask a lesbian who refuses to date bisexual women how small the lesbian-only pool is and would be. So unfortunately businesses have to accept the straight girl who is curious about being with a woman, or the bisexual girl who is looking “alone” for a third with her boyfriend, etc…

is it fair? No, but lesbians who complain have a choice to either create their own spaces and business that’s shaped the way they want them to be ideally for themselves and their peers, OR to not go on those apps/to those places if they feel they are too mixed for their liking and organize a lesbian-only meet up in their city instead. I am not sure it’s our place to change someone else’s concept or business model when nothing is stopping us creating our own with our own vision.

@Linning

I am not sure it’s our place to change someone else’s concept

Yet males can change the concept of what is a lesbian?

The irony.

The women here who think bisexuality or pansexuality means you’ll sleep with anyone, I assume you’re heterosexual women? So you will sleep with literally any man? Anything with a penis you’ll jump straight on it, no questions asked.
I mean it says something about you that’s for sure lol.

Transwomen are barely a game changer when they make sooo little of the dating pool.

It's denying the whole concept of same sex attraction though. Which strikes me as wildly homophobic. I find this extraordinary tbh.

But non/ binary and trans people are still either male or female regardless of how they identify. So pan surely is the same as bisexual when you come down to it?
There are only two sexes so you can only be attracted to two…

Based on what you say, lesbians aren’t being kicked out for stating they are lesbians (otherwise me and some of my friends would be kicked out too), they are being removed for asking those apps to remove people just because they disagree they should be there.

Excuse me? Based on what I say? Perhaps you should have another go at reading my posts.

There is one female only app called Giggle. Oh my goodness the tantrums that has caused among the TQ+!

What is the difference. You like who you like. Regardless of if they are a a man or or women.

This is bisexual (man or woman)

Pansexual means 'You like who you like, regardless of if they are a man or a woman or neither or both or any other identity'

It includes all identities, not just man/ woman.

Bisexual (by definition 'bi' means 'two') only includes men and women so it would exclude other gender identities.

'Man' and 'woman' are not identities. They are sexes. Sex is also a protected characteristic.

I don't think people realise these days when they discuss the many 'sexualities' just what that includes . donquixote

Bisexual (by definition 'bi' means 'two') only includes men and women so it would exclude other gender identities.

Bisexual has nothing to do with gender identity. It existed long before gender identity was invented. The clue is in the name.

Bisexual (by definition 'bi' means 'two') only includes men and women so it would exclude other gender identities.

Read that word again. Bi sexual

Gender identity is neither here nor there.

Conflation of these terms is really problematic.

x post

The 'sexual' in 'bisexual' refers to 'sexuality', not sex.

It means you are sexually attracted to (i.e. desire to to have sex with) men and women.

It is not about the sex/gender of men and women.

yes. The conflation is an issues. One discusses the biological sex (which we are constantly told no person denies their biological sex) and the other discusses how a person likes to have sex and with who, what and how.

No. It is based on biological sex. And preceded the redefinition of the term 'gender'.

And if you choose to redefine the word to suit you, that is your choice, but then using it then redefines every one else's by default.

Sorry, I don't accept you changing my sexual orientation.

It is not about the sex/gender of men and women.

What makes anyone think that an idea about how they 'identity' impacts peoples sexual attraction to them, predicated on their sex?

The 'sexual' in 'bisexual' refers to 'sexuality', not sex. It means you are sexually attracted to (i.e. desire to to have sex with) men and women.

Of course it does- that's what I said, both sexes. I don't understand your point?

Are you saying trans people are neither men or women? They are human beings just like anyone else.

It is not about the sex/gender of men and women. Sex and gender are different things. Which are you referring to?

I've never been quite sure how useful labels are. Someone might be heterosexual, but that doesn't mean they want to have sex with everyone of the opposite sex, and if there's someone you want to have sex with and it's not reciprocated, does it really matter whether it's because they're gay or straight or just don't like your taste in music or dyed hair or anything else?

I guess the basics of heterosexual, bi and gay are useful on dating apps as a filter, but you're still going to get far more you aren't interested in than otherwise, and Tinder seems incapable of filtering out the all the tedious ones...

I am not 'changing your sexual orientation', it is just a fact about the morphology of the word.

'Sexual' in a words like 'pansexual' 'bisexual' 'asexual' 'heterosexual' etc. refers to the subject's 'sexuality' - who or what they are sexually attracted to.

It is the 'bi' that refers to men/women.

How far do we need to take this - I’m straight but that doesn’t mean I’m attracted to every man I meet - I have a type who I find sexually attractive. Is there a category for people like me who are attracted to tall men who wear glasses and have thinning hair - I think I’d like to announce this on my Instagram so I need to make sure I get the right label! I’d hate for men who have too much hair to think I may fancy them!!!

There is no difference, it is just a self applied label fashionable in the queer and trans world, part of an idoelogy