Bi or pansexual

[dawnfromgavinandstacey]

I've just been blocked by someone that I know via friends and family. They are semi famous.

They are out and gay and happy.

They have just come out on Instagram as pansexual. I have asked how is it different to being bi.

I am bi.

I'm really sorry if I'm offending anyone but to me it's the same.

You like the person. Doesn't matter how they identify you just fancy them. For whatever reason. You just do. You like them.

I've been blocked and asked snottily if I get the difference.

I will be honest. No I don't. You like who you like. Regardless.

What is the difference. You like who you like. Regardless of if they are a a man or or women.

Have I missed something here?

But everyone who identifies as non binary or trans IS either male or female?

Glad I asked. Glad I'm not a loon!

Just a plain old boring middle aged bi

It potentially would be except that on dating apps nobody's allowed to opt out of being open to dating trans people anyway. Lesbians get banned for specifying that they are only interested in dating females.

Regardless of anyone's views on gender identities/sexualities/labels:

What they choose to call themselves really has bugger all to do with how you see the world. Their identity doesnt have to map onto your paradigm. And it's really not their job to fit themselves into the way you understand things, or explain it to you. If you don't get it/agree, fine. Who cares?

If this came up in conversation, maybe it would be OK to ask in good faith.

I fail to see what them being semi famous has to do with it?

YABVU for messaging someone this question.

Sorry, equally I can’t be arsed to fathom out why declaring yourself “pan” makes you some kind of special person that is still attracted to either sex but not a bisexual.

This is Me! I am just boring bi with a type! None of my exes are my type though. They are all funny though!

If you call yourself "non-binary" you're still male or female. You can't change or get rid of your sex. All you're doing is making your presentation less masculine/feminine.

It was a reasonable question and they should have explained what the difference means to them. Getting easily offended seems to be an unhealthy current trend. I can only assume that the person isn't sufficiently clear on the difference to be able to articulate it in any meaningful way without tying themselves in knots, so the only way they can cope with the question is by shutting it down and being condescending. Honestly, given that tis person is really only an acquaintance, I would just shrug and more on with your life. You are better off without their over-sharing in your life.

*this person
*move on
Sorry about the typos.

Ok so basically some nobody who doesn't understand the difference between fame and notoriety blocked you because you don't understand the difference between pan and bi? Ooooooookay....

I find it amazing how many of the people who self-describe as "pansexual" have only ever had heterosexual relationships.

How did you word it? They come out as pansexual, which was probably a big deal to them, and your response was "How is that different from being bi?" If so, I can understand why they may have felt hurt.

If they want to identify as pansexual then you should respect that. Not quibble over grammar and terminology. God knows that people on here hate being referred too as a cis woman, so why try to force a label onto someone else.

Humour is dead.

Clearly.

Next.

I don’t understand this argument at all - for straight people, you know you’re attracted to the opposite sex before you have any romantic relations with them? It’s the same for bisexuals and pansexuals. I had my first encounter with a man when I was 18 - I knew I was attracted to men from puberty. I had my first encounter with a woman when I was 22 - I knew I was attracted to women from puberty too. Nobody says “how do you know you’re straight when you’ve never shagged a man?” But that argument is always used in relation to the LGBT+ community. P.S. everyone “self-describes” as their sexuality - you’re the only person who can determine your own sexuality.

I think it’s that

bisexual = I acknowledge that there are two sexes and I may fancy a person of either sex, depending on their personality/looks;

pan = I acknowledge nothing (in particular I don’t acknowledge that there are only two sexes and that they can’t change), and I may fancy anybody depending on their personality/looks

Or, if you prefer:

Bisexual = I’m comfortable with my sexuality

Pan = I have issues and like to police the language of others

I agree with you OP. All these ridiculous identities and stupid flags are a lot of attention seeking nonsense. Straight, gay and bi has done the job for years.

Yeah, casual biphobia - side splitting hilarious-ness.

‘Pansexual’ is actually quite biphobic when you dig into it.

bisexuals have managed to be attracted to both sexes for ages - even when they have an atypical hair cut or wear different clothes. Only recently did someone feel the need to coin a different term for this and try and cordon off a section of our orientation. Typically, pans are quick to lecture bis on how problematic and exclusionary we are, too.

yanbu.

Or neither sex. I’m not necessarilly advocating having lots of sexualities but I am genuinely not attracted to anybody so don’t really feel straight, gay or bi suits me as a label.

No, the reality is more that people aren’t publicly allowed to discriminate. It’s okay to write “I am a lesbian”, but I don’t think it’s reasonable to write “No trans-women” in a profile (plenty of male gay apps had a similar issue with people thinking they can publicly write their preferences in a way that comes across as massively discriminatory and biased, things like “No Asians” etc… were rife on Grindr and it's vile).

You can 100% not be attracted to trans-women (or Asians), but just use the app fonctions and swipe left on them or ignore the conversation, or, better yet, politely explain your preferences if approached. There is 100% no need to include it in a profile in a way that would get you banned.

And I say this as a lesbian who can’t really picture herself with a transwoman and who do use dating apps and has a very lesbian-centric profile on them and never ever got banned for it.

Dear fucking lord.

You know nothing about me.

But what a faff. Lesbians, as I understand it, are women who want to date women.

Why anyone with a penis thinks that they belong in that dating pool is beyond me.

Do I need to? You said bisexuals want to “shag anyone”. It’s the same shite we’ve had for years. The most unoriginal and unfunny thing you could possibly say about being bisexual.

I swear to god with the phobic sexuality idiots.

No. I just don't happen to be precious.

Or remotely bothered myself.