Really rude friend!

[EverythingWobbles]

DH and I have invited about 10 couples over on Christmas eve for drinks/nibbles. I sent a text saying that we appreciate it's a busy day and completely understand if they can't make it, but would love if they could find time to pop over whether it be for 10 mins or 2 hours and to just let me know either way. (Sent 2 weeks ago)
Amazingly everyone is coming which is really lovely....but one particular friend (I invited her and hubby) hasn't replied, (yet still liking posts etc on fb and interacting normally so no issues as far as I'm aware).
We really need to know numbers, so dropped her a quick message yesterday saying we are trying to finalise numbers for buffet bits etc, and would be really grateful if she could let me know if they will have chance to pop round (again, explained no pressure and fully understand if busy)
She's read it and not responded again! AIBU to be really annoyed and find it rude?
I don't mind if she can't come, but surely just have the decency to respond! She's been on her phone today as I've seen her online. Do you just find some people ignorant??

YANBU.

'Not had a reply assume you can make it. Happy Xmas!'

Can't*

Maybe she just doesn't know yet. I have no idea what I will be doing on Xmas eve. She may be waiting until she does know.

Given that it is two weeks away, you still have plenty of time to buy your nibbles.

Why not ring her and speak to her..

She probably just doesn’t know yet.

I find that annoying too OP

It’s a while away as yet - especially for such a casual event with quite a few people - chase in a week 10 days. And if she doesn’t reply, assume she isn’t.

She should reply obviously, and yes she isn’t being a bit rude. But it is just drop in drinks, so you are making a mountain out of it.

Then she could have responded and said that.

I think I would presume they’re not coming.

She should send a courtesy reply regardless of whether she's coming, not coming or undecided

Me too - however, it’s probably that she just needs to ask her Dp if he’s coming too and he’s either out or procrastinating.

Telephone?

Rude of her, but if you've invited 20 people, surely you'll be able to absorb two last minute guests? Unless you're monitoring their sausage roll intake particularly carefully just cater for 20 and if they don't show you're unlikely to have much/anything left over.

Just call her?

It's only two people - surely you would have that much leeway in your amounts anyway? Yes in an ideal world she would respond but it really isn't worth badgering her over. It's not as if nobody has replied.

It is infuriating when people don’t respond to an invitation. In this case it seems to be only one that hasn’t responded, ( you’ve done well there 👍), so I’d just do enough food to include them. I’m sure drinks and nibbles for two won’t be wasted.

Have a great Christmas OP 🎅🏻

It is rude, but people have a lot going on in their lives. How well do you know her?

Agree, rude.

I'd guess she hasn't decided yet (waiting for someone else to get back to her on previous plans or for DH to finalise loose plans) and is trying to keep option open. Maybe has been pushed to finalise plans by your latest text so I'd give it a day or two then if you genuinely need to finalise numbers then just 'haven't heard back, assume you can't make it, hope you're ok'. I still think she could have replied with 'sorry, I'll let you know by Tuesday'.

Perhaps she doesn't know what she is doing yet or is overwhelmed by Xmas.

She might be dealing with some serious shit in her life or something

I find it really annoying when people issue super casual breezy invites (“no pressure just pop in when it suits you, stay as long as you like”) and then as soon as you say maybe, they gradually put the screws on until you’re committed to a definite yes/no, a specific time and bringing some kind of vital contribution that will fuck the whole thing up if you suddenly decide to spend the day in your jammies.

A friend has done it just now. “Pop round for afternoon/evening drinks, no pressure” has turned into “see you at 2pm for organised fun with just 3 other families, 2 of which you don’t know” aargh

She probably doesn't know yet, although she should tell you that.

But why do you need to know exact numbers for the buffet? Surely 2 more won't make much difference?

It is two weeks away but surely a couple of people coming or not coming will not make too much difference to a buffet? Most people over cater anyway, you are probably no exception, some eat little and others eat loads.

I'm sure your friend will respond soon and no doubt there will be some who have said they will come but find, at the last minute, they cannot.

Don't worry about it, it'll work out.

I also think that's quite rude and ignorant. Forgetting to respond to the first message isn't so bad but not responding to the second is really off