Page 6 | Really rude friend!

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 12/12/2022 07:55

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/12/2022 07:50

Three messages about a casual drop in drinks and nibbles is excessive. Maybe she feels hounded?

Certainly isn't coming across as casual

MrsSchadenfreude · 12/12/2022 07:58

I think people who don’t bother to respond to an invite are usually people who don’t entertain themselves, and have no idea of what goes into it.

That said, if everyone else has said they are coming, I’d just get some more sausage rolls, and if they come, they come, and if they don’t then the food will get eaten anyway.

Applecottagetree · 12/12/2022 08:02

Drop ins for xmas eve aren't an RSVP event though.

IamMaz · 12/12/2022 08:03

My husband had never got on very well with his brother. One year we decided to try and build bridges by inviting him and his partner to our holiday home in Spain for a few days.
His response was that he didn’t know what he was doing then.
Hmmmmm Said it all really !!!! LOL
We never bothered again.

IglesiasPiggl · 12/12/2022 08:10

IamMaz · 12/12/2022 08:03

My husband had never got on very well with his brother. One year we decided to try and build bridges by inviting him and his partner to our holiday home in Spain for a few days.
His response was that he didn’t know what he was doing then.
Hmmmmm Said it all really !!!! LOL
We never bothered again.

But that's hardly a "drop in for a casual drink" type invite is it? The brother was undoubtedly rude in that circumstance, but this is in no way similar.

Iamthewombat · 12/12/2022 08:33

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/12/2022 07:50

Three messages about a casual drop in drinks and nibbles is excessive. Maybe she feels hounded?

Hounded by two texts?

I don’t see the invitation as casual. The OP says this:

DH and I have invited about 10 couples over on Christmas eve for drinks/nibbles. I sent a text saying that we appreciate it's a busy day and completely understand if they can't make it, but would love if they could find time to pop over whether it be for 10 mins or 2 hours and to just let me know either way.

She’s told people that she understands that Christmas Eve is a busy time, hence guests shouldn’t worry about causing offence if they can’t accept, plus it’s not an all-day or all-evening event, meaning that if people want to combine the OP’s party with other things, they can. She specifically asks that they let her know either way.

That’s not ‘casual’. It’s a considerate invitation that allows guests to be flexible but not unreasonably asks for confirmation of attendance.

It’s very different to, we’ll be in all day, do drop in for a drink if you can.

The number of people making excuses for the rude friend’s behaviour, pretending that the invitation doesn’t need a response, or that the friend is probably bereaved, or that the OP is expecting too much, explains why we hear so much on MN about invitations not RSVPd to etc. Pure selfishness and lack of courtesy.

Sartre · 12/12/2022 08:51

I can totally understand her not responding to the first one, everyone forgets when they’re busy and such but to read and ignore the prompt is just pure rude. I wouldn’t bother buying things to accommodate her personally.

phoenixrosehere · 12/12/2022 09:42

Iamthewombat · 12/12/2022 08:33

Hounded by two texts?

I don’t see the invitation as casual. The OP says this:

DH and I have invited about 10 couples over on Christmas eve for drinks/nibbles. I sent a text saying that we appreciate it's a busy day and completely understand if they can't make it, but would love if they could find time to pop over whether it be for 10 mins or 2 hours and to just let me know either way.

She’s told people that she understands that Christmas Eve is a busy time, hence guests shouldn’t worry about causing offence if they can’t accept, plus it’s not an all-day or all-evening event, meaning that if people want to combine the OP’s party with other things, they can. She specifically asks that they let her know either way.

That’s not ‘casual’. It’s a considerate invitation that allows guests to be flexible but not unreasonably asks for confirmation of attendance.

It’s very different to, we’ll be in all day, do drop in for a drink if you can.

The number of people making excuses for the rude friend’s behaviour, pretending that the invitation doesn’t need a response, or that the friend is probably bereaved, or that the OP is expecting too much, explains why we hear so much on MN about invitations not RSVPd to etc. Pure selfishness and lack of courtesy.

Show quote history

Many have agreed that it is rude but OP could also CALL since texting hasn’t worked.

They’re the only people left. It would be one thing if it was lots of people missing but one person and their partner that haven’t answered would take no time to call.

Heck, the time they took to write this post about how rude said friend is, she could have called and if still no answer took them as a no-show.

After two unanswered texts many would have taken that as an answer of no and left it.

What is the reason OP hasn’t called? What is their excuse? Texting is not the only way of reaching people.

Madamecastafiore · 12/12/2022 11:33

You seem a bit needy. The margin of error on food for a buffet should include them anyway.