To think parents DO have a favourite child

[KrystynaZ]

… but they can't help it?

There are a lot of posts that contain reference to favoritism within families and the resentment it causes… especially at Christmastime.

I am from a family of five siblings... four of us have always suspected that the other (oldest daughter) was the favorite. I never resented this as our parents were very good to all of us. They couldn't help it if they felt more affection towards my sister. And in my mum's culture there is a sort of tradition of the "precious first daughter" — and she accordingly received all the family heirlooms.

So am I right in thinking parents always do have a favorite child—whether it's openly acknowledged or not?

I genuinely love all 3 kids the same, but I know my husband has a "favourite"! Our eldest will always be the Golden Child for him, but that just makes me champion the others a bit more!

My parents definitely did and one of the many reasons I don't have kids is because I'm afraid of repeating the pattern, even though I would really try not to. It's very hard to break those patterns.

I have an uncle who openly admitted that he had a favourite child. He had five kids and would tell people that he had a special love for dc3
She was the third born , yet had the biggest bedroom, best clothes .etc. She was allowed to participate in any hobby whatever the cost.
When he was sick , not one of his children bothered with him ( including the Golden child).

I’m the eldest of five and can honestly say that my parents have never shown any kind of favouritism to any of us. I genuinely believe they love us all equally, we all have our good and bad traits.

My son says his sister is my favourite.
My daughter says her brother is my favourite.

My parents always made a huge fuss about treating us equally and used to say "One doesn't go without the other" whatever that means, as if that was the last word on the matter and proved instantly that they are The Best Parents Ever.

If that's true, then I have two ponies, a car and an entire house full of furniture that I have somehow forgotten about. Where do you think I put it all? I know I can never find my glasses, but you'd think the ponies would have made a noise or something and I'd have found them.

I don't have a favourite. Hand on heart my youngest is a much easier child. My eldest is autistic and takes up a lot of time and energy (through no fault if his own).
My eldest needs me more but my youngest is so happy and patient and I often feel guilty about the disparity if time given.

Mine insist they don’t, but it’s obvious to the rest of us who the favourite is. They are more concerned about things to do with my sister, such as how well she is doing at uni etc than they ever are with me.

When I mention this I am accused of jealousy and there is no understanding. It’s not jealousy, I love my sister and I want her to do well in life. It’s just not a nice feeling when there is obvious favouritism that they aren’t even aware of.

But only you know which one is correct...

I mean, even if you don't favour one over the other in terms of giving support, or allocating family resources. Surely one of them makes your heart sing just that little bit more than the other.

I thought long and hard before my PP. DD and DS are such different personalities, I’d say I favour them each in different ways and it works out evenly. When they say each other is the favourite I tell them neither of them are and their dad is my favourite.

I’m going to be totally honest and will prob be shot down in flames.
I have 2 DS and my youngest is my favourite my oldest has broke my heart so many times and even though he is 33 is a constant worry,
however even though my DS is his stepson my husband admits that DS is his favourite above his biological son