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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partners just picked football over me?

181 replies

Janetsworld · 08/12/2022 19:46

World Cup on Saturday- England are playing, we originally had plans to meet up and go for a walk in the park and visit some Xmas markets.

Today he said, sorry we need to cancel the footballs on it’s a big game. I had to question if this was serious. He in fact was serious.

AIBU here? I said that I’m annoyed that I need to replan a day out around the football. He disagrees.

OP posts:
Getoff · 09/12/2022 08:48

I've just realised that one of the rugby games I was intending to watch tomorrow is on at the same time as the England world cup game. I bet even some rugby fans will be more inclined to watch England v France football quarterfinal live than to watch Exeter play Castre.

Murasakispillowbook · 09/12/2022 09:33

Ragwort · 08/12/2022 22:00

I'm so glad I am married to someone who doesn't expect me to provide 'entertainment' for him . ... he can watch football, play golf, go cycling Grin or do whatever he likes ... and I do exactly what I like with my free time .... we are not joined at the hip.

He only sees her once a month! Definitely not joined even at the tips of their fingers!!!

Cheeseandhoney · 09/12/2022 09:42

Well you don’t see him once a month if you live with him ten days at a time. So I don’t understand why you say you hardly see him. Do something the next day, if you do see him once a month then I don’t think he meets the definition of partner.

melj1213 · 09/12/2022 10:39

YANBU to be annoyed at the late notice (the schedule has been set in stone for months and as soon as England won last weekend then everyone knew when they'd be playing this weekend) but YABU to be annoyed someone would put a once-every-four-year event ahead of a wander round the Christmas markets (which tbh I find boring anyway because it's usually overpriced, unnecessary tat and food stalls are extortionate, charging the same as a full meal in a nearby restaurant for an overcooked burger)

I love football which is why in August I thought ahead and booked off today, tomorrow and next Tuesday and Wednesday so I could watch all of the QF and SF games (I work Tues-Saturday evenings) and will be off work for the Sunday final. I also wanted time off in case I organised any festive events with DD but they would be worked round the football (and as she's in secondary now I don't have to factor in nativities/Christmas fairs etc).

I support Spain (since I lived there and it's where my DD was born) so was hoping to see them in the QF/SFs but it wasn't to be this year and I still intend to watch all four QFs and both SFs even though I'm not invested in any team specifically because I want to watch football and I enjoy the WC as a whole. If your partner is a massive England fan then of course he is going to watch England specifically and at least it's only plans round the England game he's wanting to change - he could be like me who has specifically made no plans for the next few days if they occur between 3-5pm and 7-9pm 🤷

shinynewapple22 · 09/12/2022 10:45

Come on - it's a World Cup quarter final game. If you are interested in football this is big. Doesn't happen very often . I think the park and Christmas markets will be there another day.

Florenz · 09/12/2022 17:43

OP could you go to the market and watch the match at a nearby pub or does your DP want to and watch it with his friends or family or something?

sashh · 10/12/2022 03:10

shinynewapple22 · 09/12/2022 10:45

Come on - it's a World Cup quarter final game. If you are interested in football this is big. Doesn't happen very often . I think the park and Christmas markets will be there another day.

It happens every 4 years.

ilovesooty · 10/12/2022 03:15

Given today's results anything could happen I suppose and you may have to prepare for the semis.

I still don't think we will beat France

WandaWonder · 10/12/2022 03:22

I am not English but husband is, I hate football, well all sports but it's the world cup, England come first even I get that

Endlesssummer2022 · 10/12/2022 03:39

Can’t you walk earlier in the day? I also believe you’re unreasonable to call someone you see once a month a ‘partner’.

Lincslady53 · 10/12/2022 06:43

Wibbly1008 · 08/12/2022 19:49

If he is being unreasonable so are the other 99.9% of men this weekend…buy some wine and get a takeaway, there will be other days out. I’m rolling with it and he is having his mates over - and it’s my wedding anniversary !

Bit sexist that. A lot of women follow football too. I wouldn't miss it fir anything but a dire emergency.

SkiingIsHeaven · 10/12/2022 08:14

My DH is in a mood because he wanted to have lunch in town, go Christmas shopping and have a few drinks but we aren't now because of the football.

Somehow it's my fault even though I don't want to watch the football and I'm quite happy to go into town.

I don't understand his logic.

Looks like I will have a lovely free day to do exactly what I want. Happy days.

shinynewapple22 · 10/12/2022 09:17

@sashh

Well aware the World Cup happens every 4 years. There have been times when England hasn't made
It through to the final stages though.

I suppose it depends on your interpretation of 'not very often'. By that I meant it's not a weekly or even monthly occurrence. Something that happens infrequently enough to want to prioritise it when it does .

thelobsterquadrille · 10/12/2022 10:19

MrsThimbles · 09/12/2022 07:29

But would he have known?

I though the teams had to progress to the next stage. So play a match and hopefully win so you can progress. But then again I know nothing about football.

Show quote history

But we knew England were through to the quarter finals last week.

So he should have told OP then, not waited until two days before the match.

Thepeopleversuswork · 10/12/2022 10:36

I am as irritated as you by the wall to wall football but in this instance I think I would let it go. It’s a big game and a Christmas market can be rescheduled.

MrsThimbles · 10/12/2022 10:46

thelobsterquadrille · 10/12/2022 10:19

But we knew England were through to the quarter finals last week.

So he should have told OP then, not waited until two days before the match.

Show quote history

I’ve no idea about football and haven’t been following the World Cup. It’s not really a topic of conversation where I live either.

custardbear · 10/12/2022 11:22

Do the markets etc in the daytime

Stop whining and make plans work for you both

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/12/2022 11:26

MrsThimbles · 10/12/2022 10:46

I’ve no idea about football and haven’t been following the World Cup. It’s not really a topic of conversation where I live either.

Show quote history

Yes but he is a fan. He does know about this.

Geranium1984 · 10/12/2022 11:30

My husband is not into football, doesn't follow a team or anything, but he does watch World Cup matches.
Everyone will be watching the game tonight and any further matches if we win.

WildOats5678 · 10/12/2022 11:36

YABU. It’s not a common occurrence. Today is my birthday and my OH is taking me out for a lovely meal tonight and then we will drive to his to drop the car and walk to the pub so we can watch the match together and have a few drinks. Why don’t you organise something like that?

PrincessConstance · 10/12/2022 11:43

Dp has told me not to speak whilst the game is on, and the kids have to be silent too.
Basically, he's watching football with no interruptions or interactions.😂

thelobsterquadrille · 10/12/2022 11:50

MrsThimbles · 10/12/2022 10:46

I’ve no idea about football and haven’t been following the World Cup. It’s not really a topic of conversation where I live either.

Show quote history

Okay, but he is a fan and would have known about this last week - so he shouldn't be springing it on OP at the last minute.

If he'd told her in advance, they could have planned around the football.

ZiriForThis1 · 10/12/2022 11:55

I kind of understand that football is important for some to see.

However this thread is absurd. The onus to pay attention to scheduling and be active about adjusting the plans is solely on the fan.

The OP isn't responsible for knowing football is happening, nor for organising their day in the way it doesn't interfere with a football.
They have pre-agreed plans, he wants to change them and he should do it in a civilised way. The football hasn't appeared today out of the blue, so announcing it only today is stupid. He could suggest the walk and markets to happen in the afternoon or so on, or just communicate about the change in time, not cancel on his partner today.

YANBU to be less than impressed by his lack of respect to your preagreed plans, and lack of effort to suggest viable adjustments.

CatsFreakingMeOut · 10/12/2022 12:05

YABVVVVU
It's a big match, how can you not realise that?
Presumably you've got some interests/hobbies that you wouldn't want to miss if he wanted to do something.
Are you 12?

WildRosie · 10/12/2022 12:46

I'm happy to be in that 0.1% of men.