Told I was 'phobic' for not using pronouns!

[NewStartIn50s]

Asked for my preferred pronouns and I said ' I don't use them', pushed on what I use to refer to myself and I said I don't use on emails or when I introduce myself or at all. Apparently, if I use them I am showing inclusivity to others and being accepting. I'm not quite a dinosaur yet but why are these things forced on us. I don't have a beard (yet) and I think you can tell what I am/but does it really matter if you can't.

So AIBU

YANBU - don't have to use pronouns if you don't want to

YABU - you should state what your preferred pronouns are

Yanbu. How intolerant and easy to take offence the pronoun police are. What was the setting?

My response when asked in previous (public sector) role - I no longer work there - was to ask what other legally protected characteristics the organisation would like me to declare in meetings/emails etc. Answer, there was none 😎

'I'm not sure' is the best response I've come across yet. Repeat as necessary until they stop questioning you.

Tell them you are totally fluid so your pp are she/he/her/him/they/it

And you will be horribly offended if they are ever wrong

Surely you don't use anything to refer to yourself because you don't talk about yourself or refer to yourself? The only pronouns you'd use relating to you would be I and me surely? But then I find asking what pronouns people use a bit confusing, shouldn't the question be what pronouns would you like others to use when referring to you?

How hard would it be to just say she/her? 🙄

Yanbu.

You could say that you’re happy for people to refer to you in whatever way they feel is appropriate.

Why if your are obviously female?

Fuck. That. Noise. If super pressed go with 'Undecided".

Public sector. We are all being asked to use them, on emails and in meetings. It feels uncomfortable to be told to use them. Surely for people that want to say they can go ahead and say.

It's pretty hard if you fundamentally disagree with the underlying belief system.

Yanbu

Btw who asked you, what’s the context

Just say no, it's not my belief system

Could you say that you don't like stereotypes.

I’d like some more context. I’m not a fan of anyone being expected to state pronouns but I can imagine that response you describe as being quite arsey. Who asked you, and for what purpose?

Adapt or die

Is that some kind of threat?

Right Side Of History piping up again I see.

I don't believe in stereotypes and studies have shown drawing attention to my sex makes me more likely to suffer sexism in the workplace.

However I am happy for you to use pronouns based on normal grammar rules based on my sex.

@Carbaction ok no worries but why am I unreasonable. Help me understand what is unreasonable about saying I don't wish to put pronouns on my emails (just answer the email, does it matter if I am a he/she/them etc) surely the gender bit is irrelevant? Why in a meeting should we state what gender we are before we start? Again, why is that so important?

Help us dinosaurs out a bit rather than just critisise us?

If gender ideology with it's 'your pick' pronouns are not part of your belief system then you should not be forced to engage with it.

Which other belief systems can insist I change my behaviour because they want me to? Vegans? Religious individuals? Do I have to participate in their beliefs?

You cannot legally force people to parrot your chosen belief system and I wish people would stop doing so.

Enforcing stereotypes can cause distress to those who arnt comfortable in defined gender roles and it Can be traumatic to those who are still trying to figure themselves out forcing them to commit one way or another

So, no I won't use pronouns soothe your fragile ego and you can respect my choices and I can respect yours

Right... so people should be compelled to parrot the 'correct' response? Doesn't that seem a little sinister? Do we still have free speech in this country?