Told I was 'phobic' for not using pronouns!

[NewStartIn50s]

Asked for my preferred pronouns and I said ' I don't use them', pushed on what I use to refer to myself and I said I don't use on emails or when I introduce myself or at all. Apparently, if I use them I am showing inclusivity to others and being accepting. I'm not quite a dinosaur yet but why are these things forced on us. I don't have a beard (yet) and I think you can tell what I am/but does it really matter if you can't.

So AIBU

YANBU - don't have to use pronouns if you don't want to

YABU - you should state what your preferred pronouns are

Every single time I'm asked in work meetings I say "I'm a woman, I'm female. Use whatever pronouns you feel are appropriate based on that information."

I am really fed up of being told that it is only white women who are GC. Red herring. Many PoC are. Admittedly we often have bigger problems so are not as voluble...

I would go with No/thanks. Being polite, as it's work.

Can I just say ' Hi I'm Susan, I have a vagina' is that good enough?

Ugh. You have my sympathy. I was 'educated' last week at a work Christmas party when we were playing the hat game (guess which notable person you are) and my first question was 'am I a man?'. As is aways the case, I have thought of lots of good retorts after the fact.

I think I'd go for something simple like 'I'm not comfortable doing that' and 'I'd prefer if you didn't question me on a personal decision like this - I don't find that very tolerant or inclusive' if pushed. Truthful but also vague enough that it's not clear what your views are if you're not comfortable sharing them.

@Carbaction but why do you need to know someones gender at all and what about some who identify differently each day ? If O am sending an email to someone , I just want them to answer my email, I don't care what gender they are , would like to be or what they ate for dinner.
I think all this forcing is not helping and many of us will be in the workforce for another 30 odd years or more and surprisingly what someone considers their beliefs in there teens isn't always the same.
And please don't compare to racism it is not the same at all and its insulting to say it is really.

Oh, I am so glad you asked. I am she/her on Mondays. On Tuesdays I am mostly she/it unless I have a client meeting when I am ze/zir. On Wednesdays I am she/they in the morning and he/they in the afternoon. Thursdays and Fridays I am they/them most of the time. At the weekend I am usually she/her except on the fourth Sunday of the month when I am ze/zir again.

If you get any of this wrong I’ll report you to HR.

How about ‘I won’t police your speech and you don’t police mine’?

Sheesh, Girl, it could be a MALE vagina, of course 🙄

And what could/would HR do?

As in 'I'm XXXX se/he/them.... and my role is XXXX'

That is how we were told to introduce our self. I just said my name and job title and missed the pronoun bit and afterwards was asked why I missed it by the department head. I said I don't feel comfortable stating that. Some stated and others missed as I did. Just felt forced.

Same here. Unless gender is directly relevant to the role it should be left at the door. They have my name, use that!

I’m a bit mystified by all this. I find it funny to receive emails from “Emily (she/her)” like, yeah duh.

In the case of emails from anyone with a less obvious gender identity (“Spriritflower, they/them) then yes it’s helpful for people to have pronouns stated. I’d also imagine the Sam’s and Alex’s of this world find it quite a relief.

I wouldn’t be offended if someone referred to me (“she/her”) as they/them. But I am quite obviously female, so I think it’s unnecessary in my case. I wouldn’t die in a ditch over it but it does seem a bit silly to have to point out the extremely obvious.

Sack everyone for being transphobic bigots.

This captures it perfectly 😂

@orzoisorange yep but if we are required to faff around calling ourselves things ... I'd rather just shut everyone up and get on with the meeting. If people persist and want to get even more personal then they will look rude/stupid

I think it's incredibly racist to compare non white women to men like they are both some kind of other.

Black women are obviously women. Denying this is incredibly racist.

Sack everyone for being transphobic bigots.

Not transphobic to not want to state your pronouns

YANBU. I will never be forced into this pronouns nonsense. I don't believe in it and won't be made to do something I don't believe in.

Oh the "Be Kind" have arrived

OP I wouldn't do it either. There's the option in my work to state them on emails etc but only around 10% of people do. It's the minority in my workplace.

Oh I love this! Definitely going to use it if ever I’m asked (NHS so likely to be asked sooner rather than later)

This is one reason why: www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/what-happened-when-a-man-signed-work-emails-using-a-female-name-for-a-week_n_58c2ce53e4b054a0ea6a4066

But also - gender identity is a belief system. You're not asked to include your religious beliefs in your email sign off - why is gender identity treated differently?

Does anyone actually play along with this nonsense like sheep though? I've not heard anything like this in RL

That’s not the point. 🙄