Told I was 'phobic' for not using pronouns!

[NewStartIn50s]

Asked for my preferred pronouns and I said ' I don't use them', pushed on what I use to refer to myself and I said I don't use on emails or when I introduce myself or at all. Apparently, if I use them I am showing inclusivity to others and being accepting. I'm not quite a dinosaur yet but why are these things forced on us. I don't have a beard (yet) and I think you can tell what I am/but does it really matter if you can't.

So AIBU

YANBU - don't have to use pronouns if you don't want to

YABU - you should state what your preferred pronouns are

This, just not gonna happen anywhere.

This came up in my CS agency. I refuse to pander to this gender identity bullshit. I have informed my boss I will not be participating, told him why, and said that if required to justify myself, I'll state I'm not comfortable disclosing my gender identity at this time and am considering speaking to my Union about being outed by my employer if they push me. I saw someone suggest that in Twitter and thought it was a great idea! 😂

I bet in 1960’s America a fair few white people didn’t like working alongside black men and women, those people got used to it as cultural attitudes and norms change.

What's that got to do with gender ideology?

Oh god, don't get me started!
YANBU. The world has gone fucking mad.

I also work in public sector and we had a mass meeting about using pronouns in our signatures.

I don't think it's being pushed on us yet but I think it's only a matter of time.

I don't even get why for a meeting

"So to follow on from what Susan said"
"Susan's point was..."
"Susan can take the lead on this thanks"

Just use the persons name surely?

I have said "I don't feel comfortable announcing my pronouns" and most people back off then for fear of "outing" you. It is a shit show when they are forced on people.

I have seen someone say "sex based like female oppression" but that would not go down well where I work.

I wasn't being serious. There's no such thing as a male vagina, obvs...

I could be wrong, but has the whole pronoun nonsense on emails etc lost a bit of traction?

I've noticed some people that used to be very vocal on the subject are now quite quiet and many have removed them from their social media.

A few graduate recruits in work added them their email signature, but I think only one still does.

Have seen quite a few young people rolling their eyes about it recently.

You are being... NORMAL!

Great advice given on here: choose the option you like best.

P.S. How awful for you.

Luckily my workplace don't (and are unlikely to) buy into this bullshit.
I tend to tell people to just use their eyes when addressing me.
There's no confusion. Even when I wear jeans and a hoodie rather than a dress and lipstick. I wonder why 🤔

odd you’ve never come across it before, although being uneducated does seem to impact the J.K Rowling fan club more than the general population.

So the people who understand that it's a biological fact that humans can't change sex are less educated than the ones who blindly believe it is possible? Riiiigghhht...

Also, you do realise that most people in the world can tell the difference between a man and a woman, regardless of their opinion of J.K. Rowling, right?

It depends where you work. I am in HE and reckon about 70% compliance. My institution is currently being sued by a prominent GC academic, you'd think they'd have more bloody sense than to keep pushing it.

On Linked in there are so many women with 'she her' in their info. Not so many men I've noticed.

YANBU. Here's a useful guide from Sex Matters for those who feel uncomfortable about their workplaces demanding this of you.

sex-matters.org/posts/updates/pronouns/?mc_cid=8e291861c7&mc_eid=57bc9aa9c7

I am sick of all this bollocks! So glad I work for myself.

I don’t understand why it’s phobic. Imagine you really are considering if you are trans. Imagine you’re born a woman and wish to be seen as being a man. But you weren’t really sure yet. But you were FORCED to have to decide and display your “pronouns”. To me that’s more cruel to a “real” trans/gender dysphoric person. You should be able to just say no I don’t want to say, because for all they know you could be a trans person that hasn’t come to terms with it yourself?!

(not that I believe you can change sex, but I think there are some people more genuine in their struggle than others!)

I really don't have a problem with people declaring their pronouns and I will respect them when talking about them.... However I firmly believe it should be entirely optional and no one should be forced to declare them.

It's the stupidity of the question and trying to force everyone to accept their vision of the world. I would be tempted to say It depends on what day it is and what side of the bed I got out of.

Sorry, I don't share your religion. My pronouns are obvious.

Sticking my beak in where it’s not needed but. Female does not equal woman. Woman does not equal female. There are many women who aren’t natally female. It’s just being polite and having an equal playing field. I’m reading for my stoning.

Tell them you identify as a cat and want to be referred to as puss...

I bet in 1960’s America a fair few white people didn’t like working alongside black men and women, those people got used to it as cultural attitudes and norms change.

More relevant comparison: I bet if some white employees started identifying as black and the bosses decreed that these employees' demands to be recognised as black should be granted, and that all staff should from now on declare what race they identified as, their black colleagues (and most of their white colleagues) would not want to comply with this.

That’s interesting. Maybe women should all just say we want our pronouns to be him/he.

Seriously though OP, i’m the same as you. It’s fairly optional where I work, some people add them and many don’t. I don’t. I’ve done it once for a meeting where it was relevant considering who the meeting was with, other than that I don’t. Happy for others to do it if they feel it helps people to get their pronouns right or is an ideology they believe in.

What bothers me the most is the lack of tolerance, displayed by some here. If people want to state their pronouns and how they wish to be addressed - crack on! But I draw the line at then being expected to comply myself. It’s not tolerance for all when you are compelling a huge amount of people to start using terminology based on an ideology that very few people are actively part of, simple as.

It's not phobic at all

That's too strong! And I would challenge that and ask for an explanation as to why I am being called 'phobic' as that's a big label to carry

There are many women who aren’t natally female.

There aren't though. It's nonsense. And you know that, if you've half a brain cell.

Since when did biological illiteracy become something people are proud of?