Fiancé comes to bed at 2.30am...

[AandEDoc]

I really need to find out if I'm being unreasonable. I'm assuming/hoping everyone has seen how horrific A&E departments are at the moment. I'm one of the A&E doctors who goes in and has to deal with what looks like a warzone and the psychology impact of just not being able to help people like we want to.
My fiancé came to bed at 02.35 last night and woke me up (I'm a light sleeper and he let our dog jump on me on the bed). I'd been asleep since 11pm, I had to wake up at 6am for my shift today. He came to bed so late because he was up playing computer games. He's 36 and works from home in IT and gets up around 9.30. I was incandescent with rage and couldn't get back to sleep.
We had this issue during Covid before he moved in. I ended up going home sick a few times because he'd come to bed late and I'd end up with less than two hours sleep.
We talked through it then but I still ended up medicating on Zopiclone to sleep more deeply.
I now have huge anxiety about not getting enough sleep and going into bed tired and making a mistake at work.
I'm now self-medicating with alcohol to get to sleep at night to get over this anxiety and I know it's not a solution and I hate it. I'm picking up more Zopiclone soon to try and break this cycle.
I've asked him to come to bed earlier or sleep upstairs but I know he's going to be defensive and say that it was the dog jumping on me, not him who woke me up.
Sorry this is so long... I'm tired.

Female dominated* forum - since you're pressed.

Cba to respond to the ad hominem.

Cba to respond to the ad hominem.
😂Good call, as you'd be skating on thin & rather hypocritical ice, having called a PP 'incoherent', for no reason at all bar you disagreeing with her.

As she was demonstrably not incoherent, having that pointed out to you as a "disagreeable" thing to do doesn't constitute an ad hominem: it's a factual observation.

Why?

Oh dear, another thread detailed by posters arguing with each other.

OP, I hope you work this out.

Yanbu to be upset.

Ywbu to marry somebody who has so little concern for your health and wellbeing, without a serious amount of couples therapy first.

I'm absolutely amazed at the amount of arguing that's been going on here since I last looked.
The suggestion that I get rid of my dog is the absolute icing on the cake here. I can see it now - "Hello, Battersea Dogs home? Yes I'm afraid I have to give you my amazing dog because she followed my partner into my room at 2.30am and due to the fact she can't read a clock, she assumed her usual place on the bed and someone on Mumsnet told me I should get rid of her".
We don't have a spare room.
I've never dictated my fiancés bedtime because he's not a child and I'm not into controlling behaviour.
I'm absolutely aware that alcohol impacts sleep, I really, really didn't except some of the judgemental vitriol for my honesty...
The comment about me being up myself was my favourite one... What I do for a living is relevent because of safety (I definitely wouldn't want a tired pilot or to be on the motorway with a tired HGV driver), but anyone who has to work with minimal sleep would be affected regardless of the job.
Above all, sending everyone some much needed peace and love over the festive season because it's pretty horrible out there for so many people and kindness and understanding would go a long way. Thank you to those of you who have done that in this thread.

Ignore the outliers op. It was literally 1 person who made the ridiculous comment about getting rid of your dog. It wasn't a running theme. Likewise about being up yourself. You got a lot of support and positive, caring advice too. Just focus on that. If you post on t'internet, you always run the risk of getting responses you don't like. Don't take it to heart. Just take away what you need from the thread.