Are women getting angrier?

[Bosebeau]

The BBC have published an article about rising anger and stress levels in women…as if this is news!

Yes I am angry. I am angry that equality means I get out to go and have a job whilst still having to pick up most of the domestic work at home. I am angry that I pay most of the bills, but still have to be the one who organises Christmas, birthdays, the weekly food shop and even pull the damn blinds every morning.

I am angry that when I bring it up with my partner I am told “just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it”….you’re 40 fucking years old, the floor is dirty you shouldn’t need to be told to put the hoover round.

Im angry that the washing basket is overflowing with his clothes because they haven’t been washed in 5 weeks, but I’ve stopped doing his washing to see at what point he notices.

bloody hell BBC.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-63874001

It’s not women’s fault. It’s not the mothers fault. It’s not the previous girlfriend’s fault.

Well, people tend to be selective and ignore what doesn't fit their narrative/beliefs. The demographic most vocal about male violence/rape are also IME the demographic most reluctant to accept that men actually do more to deter rapists (despite that the fact that the vast majority of rapes are committed by a small subset of deviant males). It doesn't fit the dominant narrative to say that men are also angry about rape.

Here's some of the findings from a 30 second Google search of the phrase 'rapist beaten'.

Rapist child killer 'rushed to hospital after being battered in savage prison attack

www.google.com/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/child-killer-rushed-hospital-after-27136606.amp

'Rapist' gets brutally beaten up by a group of men in prison

www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-1328766/Rapist-gets-brutally-beaten-group-men-prison.html&ved=2ahUKEwi925ij6ur7AhXUoFwKHTyyD4MQFnoECA4QAQ&usg=AOvVaw2g32NfQY38w9mzkaqCCcZ-

Rapist who attacked kidnapped 16-year-old girl' begs for mercy as inmates force him to strip, then beat him and shove his head in filthy cell loo in horrific phone video

www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7994889/amp/Rapist-attacked-kidnapped-schoolgirl-16-begs-mercy-inmates-force-strip.html

VIDEO: Kickboxing vigilantes beat the living hell out of child rapist suspect

www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/kickboxing-vigilantes-rape-suspect-17225610.amp

Accused Rapist Beaten, Stabbed by Fellow Inmates

www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1993-11-29-mn-62126-story.html

Minor girl's 'rapist' beaten to death by mob in Jalandhar

www.google.com/amp/s/news.abplive.com/news/india/minor-girls-rapist-beaten-to-death-by-mob-in-jalandhar-police-1004792/amp

Accused child rapist beaten in jail

www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.starbeacon.com/news/local_news/accused-child-rapist-beaten-in-jail/article_4047e218-11c6-54e4-9242-0567a057250f.html&ved=2ahUKEwizsayl7Or7AhWIh1wKHRO8DFs4MhAWegQIBxAB&usg=AOvVaw1QKbBPMccWLmLmpgJRu7_l

Alleged rapist beaten in front of police in Chirang District

www.google.com/amp/s/www.indiatodayne.in/amp/top-stories/story/alleged-rapist-beaten-front-police-387969-2022-06-20

HMP Bullingdon prisoner attacked over false belief he was a rapist

www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/23069442.hmp-bullingdon-prisoner-attacked-false-belief-rapist/

Rapist Beaten to Death in Prison

www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=amp.toofab.com/2021/08/09/rapist-beaten-to-death-in-prison-after-being-placed-in-cell-with-victims-brother/&ved=2ahUKEwi925ij6ur7AhXUoFwKHTyyD4MQFnoECBEQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3nAiGpaFEWZ-YGESEZuUtL

SADISTIC RAPIST BEATEN TO DEATH WITH BASEBALL BAT

lakesuperior.news/Public-Safety/2019-Sudden-Death-Thunder-Bay/sadistic-rapist-beaten-to-death-with-baseball-bat

Tunbridge Wells nightclub rapist Chiron Hutchinson 'was beaten up in jail'

www.kentlive.news/news/tunbridge-wells-nightclub-rapist-chiron-770939

India mob lynches "rapist" ice-cream seller

www.reuters.com/article/us-india-crime-lynching-idUSSP19312020070404

Muslim man who raped 9-year-old girl beaten to death by villagers

www.google.com/amp/s/english.newstracklive.com/ampnews/mohammad-sagir-took-9yearold-girl-sleeping-soul-will-tremble-knowing-what-he-did-ta322-1253212-1.html

Women's collusion with crappy male behaviour is a huge part of why they behave this way.

BTW, I wasn't saying you are selective in your beliefs, UglyNameChange. Just that lots of people are and ignore data like the above.

A tiny subset of men (prisoners) take vigilante action against the tiny number of men convicted for rape. Hardly proof positive that men in general are especially worried about rape. If they were, they'd be pressing for changes to the fact that rape is effectively legal in the UK, for instance.

I didn't say that the majority of men do anything, just that more men act than women. Most women don't do anything either.

Most women don't do anything either.

What do you suggest they do? As a former police worker.

That's simply an unprovable assertion. Women are responsible for all the changes regarding rape that have ever happened. women set up rape victim shelters. Women are currently battling to keep men out of them.

I knew that post would bring a certain type of poster out the woodwork and I can't really be arsed to argue. The evidence speaks for itself. I stated that men don't like rapists and posted loads of examples.

I was going to post this before but lost the post. Seeing how the topic has continued I think it's worth the effort to retype.

Yes most men absolutely do hate rapists. The thing is, there's an awfully high bar to meeting their criteria for rape.

Kids, old ladies, stranger kidnapping, possibly a nun...absolutely this will be roundly condemned and considered justification for violent retribution.

Date rape, "taking advantage" of a drunk friend or new acquaintance, encouraging a teenage girl whose experience of life do far is that her only value is sexual, finding "the wrong hole" with a formerly consenting partner, raping a prostitute, not taking no for an answer because the girl is known to be a "slag"... more likely to be met with scepticism and victim blaming.

@TruckerBarbie I think what happens in prison is that since there are no women to be predated upon/subordinated they make the weaker men into the 'women'
men also predate upon and rape other men,
singling out sex offenders as the ones to be punished is also a way of creating a hierarchy where people know their place and are less likely to challenge the ones at the top
(no doubt there are other factors at play of course)

Date rape, "taking advantage" of a drunk friend or new acquaintance, encouraging a teenage girl whose experience of life do far is that her only value is sexual, finding "the wrong hole" with a formerly consenting partner, raping a prostitute, not taking no for an answer because the girl is known to be a "slag"... more likely to be met with scepticism and victim blaming.

None of those things are widely regarded as acceptable. It's more that they're hard to objectively prove in a court of law, which is why convictions are so pitifully low. It's an admittedly big problem which I sadly don't know the answer to.

I get extremely pissed that my DH can't seem to make a success of work and is then too depressed to function properly at home. So I've become the higher earner and still do all the other sorting. I'm afraid from my own experience and seeing my daughters have similar experiences of flaky men that i can't help but think men will die out in evolutionary terms one day!

Don't want to pour water on anyone's rants buts here are some interesting figures on money-oft used on Mumsnet.

girlpowermarketing.com/statistics-purchasing-power-women/

😉

We are a new generation
the first generation of women who truly have BOTH
work , economic power yay !
and all the usual shit of house kids work

I’m now single and way happier !
can’t see it working between men and women for this generation tbh

our kids and their gender stuff change will do better

I'm angry about misogyny and sexism. I'm not angry at home - I've just gone back to working full time after years of part time and dh and my dc have accordingly stepped up and shared the domestic load.

Yep, I'm angry that I have to be the constant and do everything alone while ExH lives his life like he's single with no responsibilities for all but 2 days a month.

I'm angry that I have to do everything for said DC, including caring and medical appointments and shopping and cooking and parents evenings etc for him to swan in 2 days a month and on the best days like Christmas to be awarded dad of the year.

I'm angry that he doesn't even give me any money each month because he's "a volunteer" apparently living off fresh air.

I'm angry that DC has lost their glasses for the 3rd time in as many months so I have to pay to replace them again because they can't see a thing without them. And DC finds it hilarious.

I'm angry that I've had to borrow £200 off my elderly grandparents since September to pay my utility bills despite having a job that pays over £25k per year because I just can't manage to heat my own, have the lights on and feed us both.

I'm angry that I gave DC a condition that means they have poor mobility so when it's freezing I have to keep the house at over 20 degrees or they can't walk.

I'm just angry at life in general right now.

Most people don't do anything. But of the things that are done; campaigning, direct support to survivors, preventative work, informal messaging from woman to woman around personal safety....and acts of violence directed at someone who 'might' be rapist; its reasonably clear who is doing what and who's efforts will have the most value. If the best way men can 'act' is to beat and murder each other on the off chance one of them could be a rapist, they'd be better not acting at all.

Solidarity OP. I get this all the time here and it drives me bloody nuts.

Yes I can ask you to do it, why should I have to?

With respect, you probably need to socialise with better men.

To correct Barbie, I can imagine women hate rapists the most but men are a close second. Men know what other men are like and there is solidarity in that alone.

Very interesting. Obviously men still out-earn women in large numbers and still control much of the world's resources but I do think there's a shift going on that reflects the fact that they relatively poorly adapted to modern, knowledge economies. Their entire raison d'etre (other than providing sperm) is making things and taking things from other men in order to feed their families. They are incredibly bad at both taking things/making things and looking after their families at the same time. Which many women are quite good at.

I don't think men will become obsolete, I'm sure they will adapt and survive but from an evolutionary perspective if women can do it all, and particularly if men are more likely to be dangerous, obstructive, take more of the world's resources than women and not great to have in a family environment (lazy, feckless, drunk etc) there is less and less of an evolutionary need for them other than to provide sperm.

I love some of them dearly but increasingly I kind of feel contemptuous of them as a species. I have lost so much respect due to the fact they seem incapable of doing half of the stuff we manage to do (in terms of juggling kids and work), they complain about being asked to do anything to support this and still have vast level of entitlement to our time, their vanity and endless need to have their egos massaged etc. I increasingly don't really see the point of them. And it actually makes me laugh to think that we have structured society around the needs of a creature which is so obviously inferior to us.

If men cared about rape as much as people are arguing here they'd a) stop doing it and b)campaign alongside women for much better laws, instead of bleating about how rape accusations ruin some men's lives.

I agree with this. I also really dislike the 'credit' men recieve for all the angry blustering and violence they direct towards rapists. Any man who cares about rape has to care about it within the context of male behaviour as a whole. Responding to other men's violence with violence of their own is just loading on more of the toxic masculinity that is a good part of the problem.
What exactly is the messaging in beating up rapists? I'm big and strong and violent and you need me to protect you from other men who are violent. If I feel like it and think you deserve my help (because you've 'behaved' and not brought it on yourself) I'll punish anyone who hurts you, and act as a deterrent too, if you sacrifice your independence and stick with me.
Some men are indeed allies. Those that use their positions of power to bring about change. Those who stand by women in the campaigns led by women. Those who wade in with their fists have a different agenda entirely.

Yes this. Excuse me if I don't cheer on the small number of men who beat up the very odd rapist who attacks randomly and indiscriminately. The bulk of rape is done by men known to the woman being raped and the whole, "oh, it's so hard to prove" thing is often just a thinly veiled front for, "well, she didn't say no" or "she wore a short skirt and let him pay for dinner and drinks, what did she think was going to happen".

And frankly, even if ALL the rapists were attacked and beaten up by other men I'm not sure I see how that is helpful or a good thing.

The comment re women's spending power is a separate thing. Because it's one of the things that I'm angry about - that women DO have all this spending power but OUR needs and preferences are seldom taken into account. Research shows that, for example, financial products are largely designed for men and marketed to men. Almost every woman who has ever bought a car has a story about the way they were treated/ sold to. Thread on MN about the way tradespeople talk to women are always infuriating.

There's a huge opportunity here for businesses and marketers if they would just wake up to it.

economic power yay !
Yep, money does make the world go round now that women can get well-paid jobs it's curtains for male dominance, well... the beginning of the end at least

I'm big and strong and violent and you need me to protect you from other men who are violent
Agree! A big underlying reason that women are motivated to get with a man is the need to protect themselves from the other man that would predate on them were there not a man to scare them away.
The problem is in our need to protect ourselves from men we overlook the fact that the man we are with is also a danger to us.
Women who became victims of men at an early age (in my view) are more likely to feel this need to acquire an alpha male to protect them, but overlook the fact that he is a danger to them