Are women getting angrier?

[Bosebeau]

The BBC have published an article about rising anger and stress levels in women…as if this is news!

Yes I am angry. I am angry that equality means I get out to go and have a job whilst still having to pick up most of the domestic work at home. I am angry that I pay most of the bills, but still have to be the one who organises Christmas, birthdays, the weekly food shop and even pull the damn blinds every morning.

I am angry that when I bring it up with my partner I am told “just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it”….you’re 40 fucking years old, the floor is dirty you shouldn’t need to be told to put the hoover round.

Im angry that the washing basket is overflowing with his clothes because they haven’t been washed in 5 weeks, but I’ve stopped doing his washing to see at what point he notices.

bloody hell BBC.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-63874001

How do you know men don't feel unsafe? Our society tells them they can't be wimps so they 'man up' and play along with this.

I'm not saying wolf whistling is acceptable but it's not quite the same as getting assaulted, which is something men are 4x more likely to experience from a stranger. And c'mon manspreading is a bit daft lol. It's just the male equivalent of when women put their bag on the seat next to them. Sorry, I just think those examples are a bit petty. First world problems tbh.

I really don't mean to discredit people's experiences, but I'm just somewhere in the middle. I'm a bit sceptical of all the men talking about 'the feminist that shouted at me for holding the door open' and also the feminists going on about 'the builders who catcall me every time I walk past'.

I spend most of my week on building sites and I never see this behaviour. Most builders nowadays seem more terrified of upsetting the existing residents than anything else. Very occasionally I might get a "she's here, put the crash barriers out" if I'm driving a wagon, but I usually just laugh and say something like "put your hard hat back on before you get frostbite on that bald patch, mate". Life's to short to be professionally offended IMO but of course the world would be a boring place if everyone had the same beliefs.

*In reality we're much less at risk statistically than men are when out and about

Are we? I know more men are attacked in public, but is that because men are more at risk than women when out and about, or because more men than women are out and about to be at risk?

Are more men than women attacked in dark alleys because men are more at risk in dark alleys, or because women are so at risk they are too scared to go down the bloody alley in the first place?

@TruckerBarbie I work in a similar environment. I'm 53. Yesterday I was asked to get my tits out. Heard the alpha male explain why various customers were a bunch of cunts and just ignored it all.

What made me angry last week was watching a different industry, in house promotion video with the male lead, interviewing four 21 year Olds and in the middle of it there's an brief zoom in on the only woman's chest.
I'm prepared to put up with the old school shit but am angry it's not getting better.

And don't even mention porn or spiking or prostitution, the internet has not been a friend to women.
I'm incandescent with rage.

Well, I walk around a lot and don't tend to meet rapists hiding down alleyways. I do see plenty of drunk men who look like they'd happily punch another man's lights out. These types of guys don't generally want a punch up with a woman. They want a weaker man to beat up.

I’m bastard livid.

@TruckerBarbie what do rapists look like?

OK, speaking seriously there are some pretty reprehensible men out there, but I don't really believe we live in a rape culture. Nobody hates rapists more than other men. Look what happens to them in prison. In less civilised societies they get stoned to death/lynched by mobs.

The videos are all over the numerous gore/reality websites (I used to work for a digital forensics company so I've seen pretty much every unsavoury internet thing you can imagine - murder, rape, paedophilia, bestiality, cartels dismembering live people, mob lynchings, pretty much anything a sicko would have on his computer/internet history which we had to catalogue as evidence for the police/courts).

@TruckerBarbie manspreading often includes touching and it is intimidating to many women, I don't think unwanted touching is acceptable at all and not petty, why do you assume I was saying all cat calling came from builders? I used to road run and I was harassed by teenager in the park, men in cars, men on canal towpaths - no idea what their professions were but they were all men - thinking they had the right to make comments on a woman simply for being out in public - and it never happened when I ran with a male friend - you might think it's petty but there were many occasions when I felt unsafe

Dismissing women's very real fears and experiences because you haven't seen it is not really a good thing

Traditional male industries with hierarchy do tend to police. The one guy in the workshop using prostitutes was not admired they found him creepy. The boss not supporting his kids is not respected for that.
A transwoman we worked with they disliked because it was all about trans rather than work.
It's all about your skills and your trade.

I have experienced more class and sex bias in the media rather than male dominated trades. Beneath the liberal veneer it's made more of an impact on my job progression and pay. And it's much less about skills, more does my face fit.

Everyone is angrier now. Anger is very fashionable. Angry people get what they want. Angry people change policy. Just being upset makes you the person who wins the Argument. Being calm, rational, patient, gets you nothing. Politicians listen to the angry people. They don't care about calm & well-reasoned. Anger gets rewarded quickly.

Tiresome but truth of the age. Heck, even in China & Iran, Angry people are actually changing their societies.

this

There are lots of reasons to be angry but you can fix yours by leaving your useless partner.

You don’t have to put up with inequality in your own home just because it’s seen as somewhat ’normal’ by some people.

I think the majority of women on this side of the forum are pretty bitter and angry, so no surprises there

Oo, I only need 'jealous' for a full card.

I have experienced more class and sex bias in the media rather than male dominated trades. Beneath the liberal veneer it's made more of an impact on my job progression and pay. And it's much less about skills, more does my face fit.

I discussed a similar thing on another thread, about how I found it much worse in a professional environment. Smug, self important businessman who knew what not to say in case they got hauled in front of HR, but who you could tell clearly thought they were more important than you. And of course many had a young female secretary making them cups of coffee as they were far too important to do that themselves.

I hear much more non-pc 'banter' nowadays that would defo not fly in an office, but most of it is good natured. Give me a coarse, Northern working class builder over some smug city exec any day. I'm not going to cry over being called 'love' if it's just a genuine expression of friendliness. I find pompous 'Very Important Businessmen' much more grating, and in my sector the work speaks for itself. It's not about who speaks loudest for themselves in meetings (not always the hardest working team member for sure).

I don't think feminists are jealous really. I just think quite a few are in a cage of their own making, seeing microaggression in every interaction and eyeing every man as a potential rapist.

That's a big generalisation of course, and I do agree with some aspects, but going through your life 'incandescent with rage' because of what you read online isn't very healthy. The vast majority of women are able to acknowledge these issues as important while still realising, for example, that a 100 women a year is a vanishingly tiny proportion of the female population even if it is still too many.

@TruckerBarbie you keep referring to these men as 'potential rapists', like they're the only males who can cause serious harm.

I work for the police. Please. Come and work with me for a day. You will be enlightened in ways you didn't think possible.

Women aren't angrier. We just don't get sedated into submission quite so much now - although the explosion in antidepressant prescriptions (and I strongly suspect the current trend in the Menopause Market) was an attempt to fill the gaps in the market caused by the withdrawal of most sleeping tablets and tranquillisers. It must have been terribly inconvenient for men.

True, once it was gin aka mothers ruin, then it was valium which was given to women by the truckload.
Back when I was a child, the women used to say run and ask claire for some of her pills, tell her I'll replace it come Monday.

And I hadnt thought of menopause in that way but yes, a shit load of very pissed off women could cause havoc, quick let's sort it out. But lets also piss them all off by making it near impossible to get hold of for a couple of years first.

There are some very true insights on here. Yours is one of them mooncup

And to this end I would suggest women empower themselves through education regarding their own body mind and spirit as much as possible and be equipped to understand themselves and physical and emotional needs. Many times the medical profession is not well equipped to deal with women and standard attitudes snd treatments are very much designed to focus on mens interpretation of womens needs. We need to be able to effectively advocate for ourselves.

There are a lot more effective treatments for many issues and antidepressants should only be used in a minority of cases where alternative treatments, eg therapy, meditation etc doesn’t work, but these, of course empower women rather than sedate them to carry on their role. Don’t sleep walk through life.

I'm fucking apoplectic with rage that my SN child has been emotionally abused and neglected at their placement and the fuckers denied it, so apparently that's the end of the investigation!
Same fuckers are still working there with other vulnerable children but boss had a nice little chat with them, called it an internal investigation and believes their bullshit story.
So now my DC is being denied access to this placement until they agree to work with the evil bastards who have abused them!

So DC sits at home while their lives continue unaffected.
Tried getting advice but it is extremely difficult to access because the bodies who offer advice are overrun with people needing help and advice and as a parent, there appears to be no clear cut path to bring these bastards to some form of justice!
Yes, I'm angry!
Angry at the failure to safeguard my child, angry at the pressure to send my child back to abusive carers who havent even got the guts to own up, and angry that my child sits at home bored and wishing they had never spoken up and uncovered this in the first place, but unable to work with those bastards either!
I'm angry beyond words that adults would throw a child under the bus to save their own lying skins!
I'm angry that vulnerable people are being abused left right and centre and fuck all gets done about it except for a small number of cases, when in fact, abuse in one form or another is absolutely rife amongst vulnerable people!!

Nobody hates rapists more than other men.

I have never seen any evidence of this @TruckerBarbie

I'm not angry but as I'm getting older I care less about what other people think. I speak out more than I would have previously. I don't shy away from arguments and I don't suffer fools gladly. My mum has said I've changed. My dad said I've just grown into myself.

My reaction to reading the headline was, "No shit, Sherlock." As things slowly become more equal and more high level opportunities open up for women there was always going to be a gradual rebalancing of stress and anger levels. In the past glass ceilings meant only men ended up in the long hours/weekends are for wimps culture, this is no longer the case. I think it time we will gradually see suicide rates for women begin to catch up with those of men for the same reason.

The point is, equality isn't all wine and roses, we end up with the bad shit as well as the good.

You must have missed my post mentioning that I used to work with the police.