Page 5 | Are women getting angrier?

Bosebeau · 2022-12-07T08:52:27+00:00

The BBC have published an article about rising anger and stress levels in women…as if this is news! Yes I am angry. I am angry that equality means I get out to go and have a job whilst still having to pick up most of the domestic work at home. I am angry that I pay most of the bills, but still have to be the one who organises Christmas, birthdays, the weekly food shop and even pull the damn blinds every morning. I am angry that when I bring it up with my partner I am told “just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it”….you’re 40 fucking years old, the floor is dirty you shouldn’t need to be told to put the hoover round. Im angry that the washing basket is overflowing with his clothes because they haven’t been washed in 5 weeks, but I’ve stopped doing his washing to see at what point he notices. bloody hell BBC. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-63874001

Autumntimeagain · 07/12/2022 13:43

I'm angry I also 'do' all Xmas

I'm angry that I 'do' all birthdays (And am 'held accountable' by family for any forgotten/late etc)

I'm angry that I was also the only person in the house that 'sees' mess/dirt etc

I'm angry that I work harder, for longer and get paid less than 'men'

I'm angry that standing up for myself is labelled 'psycho' or 'bitchy'

I'm angry that I am overlooked for promotion because I have kids

I am angry that all family 'illness' is MY sole domain

I'm angry that school only ever phoned ME about issues/meetings etc

I'm angry that ALL childcare/nursery/school/babysitter was somehow 'my' job

I'm angry that all family/child admin is 'my' job

I'm angry that buying all clothing for OTHERS was 'my' job

I'm angry that even with ALL this 'responsibility', I was unfit to speak with tradesmen/ car salesmen/ mechanics, because I'm somehow 'clueless' because I'm a 'woman' ?

I'm angry about so much of my history and experience as a woman, an employee, as a wife and as a mother.

I AM hopeful that the next generation are improving

I'm very glad to say that I got it right with my second marriage.

Soothsayer1 · 07/12/2022 13:49

It's all about the money, whoever has control of the money has the power, that's why men work so hard to keep women out of the best jobs, we need to stop working for them by doing their domestic chores and focus on working for ourselves

VoiceOfCommonSense · 07/12/2022 14:02

Yep, bitches be crazy now a days 🤣🤣

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/12/2022 14:06

I’m angry but not at the things you’re angry about. As PPs have said, women are right to be angry about misogyny in general, FGM, low levels of rape and sexual violence / DV convictions, sexual violence being used as a weapon of war, all of these things.

Your shit husband? You can do something about that. Don’t get angry - get rid!

holidaysGalore · 07/12/2022 14:13

Yeh I think there's becoming less tolerance for things some recent examples:

I know several recent divorces where the man didn't do domestic weight and the women have a few changes then ended it. All husbands totally in shock. All kids under 8. All women said 'way more time in childhood left I'm not doing this'. All have got 50/50 CAO ageeed (forcing men to do there share) ha ha

two of my friends were denied promotion to partnership for stupid female reasons told 'not xyz enough' and 80% male as usual. One quit next day and got promotion with competitors. The other used boss' contact to her a job as advising a CEO (big step up) based on her reputation. Ha ha

I was being paid less than two male peers (about £15-20k less). Managed to get later drive offer to force pay rise but still less. Then they both got 20% bonus I got 13%. Challenges it but HR found stupid reason to justify. Then my boss would only allow two men to cover her role although I had bigger team and more resp ( but I'm female). Anyway when she said the more useless one was her successor I thought duck it. So put in HR grievance, there's a conduct investigation (extensive -apparently) plus I have a solicitor fighting it. I quit (will say constructive dismissal due to events on the day repeated) but have offer 20% more pay next week and at final stage of x2 director level v high focus industry city roles. Not meant to know but my boss is currently suspended.

I think generally people have less tolerance for BS now post-Covid. Lots of things are being shaken up - police, royal family, social care reality etx . Less BS!

pinneddownbytabbies · 07/12/2022 14:19

Maybe women are just becoming more assertive, and are less prepared to be a doormat or tolerate the never-ending torrents of bullshit coming their way.

EmmaAgain22 · 07/12/2022 14:24

OP "I am angry that equality means I get out to go and have a job whilst still having to pick up most of the domestic work at home. I am angry that I pay most of the bills, but still have to be the one who organises Christmas, birthdays, the weekly food shop and even pull the damn blinds every morning."

in my 20s, I was quite angry that so many women had this warped idea of equality and that they seem to be their own worst enemy.

in my 40s, I just shrug and feel grateful that my god daughter doesn't have these ideas.

DizzyRascal · 07/12/2022 14:45

It seems so weird and illogical to blame feminsim/equality.

Its like, previously: women couldn't own shit, couldn't keep their kids in a divorce, couldn't inherit, weren't allowed to do most jobs, had no control of their own fertility, were considered less than human.
We worked towards getting all these rights, and being recognised as half the human race-as actual humans not as a support function..
Men came back with " great, have the big jobs and the Pill but by the way you are still doing all the shitwork. If I have to have a woman boss and refrain from ogling my secretary, I am not picking up my fucking socks"
So how is THAT equality? It's not!
What are we supposed to think? "Oh no, feminism has failed me!"
NO. Men just are not giving up without a fight! Honestly, nowadays, I look around me at the amazing women I know and the mostly OK but not really men, and I just think women are better. I wish I didn't think that but I do.
So I am not especially angry, as my expectations are really quite low and I am rarely surpised!

Bluekerfuffle · 07/12/2022 14:49

I’m at the point where I’m wondering what’s taking Putin so long to press the damned button.

WifeMotherWorker · 07/12/2022 15:01

YANBU
Women should have the freedom to be able to work as mothers and share the domestic jobs equally. However, the vast majority of women, I believe, are just natural nurturers and home makers. We take the lead with childcare and chores, we see what needs to be done and just own it and get on with it, to our detriment. We are great at multitasking. Men on the other hand are not, I don’t think they are useless, they are just not as amazing as women… which then gives us the rage!

Shahira78 · 07/12/2022 15:02

I'm angry at you for staying with a guy who treats you so poorly

NeedAHoliday2021 · 07/12/2022 15:05

When I went full time I laid out what dh’s role shift would look like. I can’t fault him. We split tasks as he had a different threshold to me so I ended up doing everything initially but now he does all clothes washing management and I do the food. This doesn’t mean I never put the machine on or he never cooks but each are responsible ensuring things are done in time or planned. I pay school stuff and do banking, dh fills out the forms etc. we have a cleaner - we love her.

Women being martyrs to a manchild baffles me yet so many do this through guilt of being the “perfect” mum. I knew I’d break if I tried that.

BigMandsTattooPortfolio · 07/12/2022 15:06

I’m an angry woman and I was an angry little girl. At 4 I destroyed my doll and smashed the glass panel of my bedroom door during one particular meltdown. I value my anger as it’s got me through some really difficult times.

Blenheimprincess · 07/12/2022 15:19

Bluekerfuffle · 07/12/2022 14:49

I’m at the point where I’m wondering what’s taking Putin so long to press the damned button.

😂Now THAT'S angry!

EmmaAgain22 · 07/12/2022 15:28

Bluekerfuffle · 07/12/2022 14:49

I’m at the point where I’m wondering what’s taking Putin so long to press the damned button.

I have been wondering why those in power don't do that for at least 20 years.

EmmaAgain22 · 07/12/2022 15:29

BigMandsTattooPortfolio · 07/12/2022 15:06

I’m an angry woman and I was an angry little girl. At 4 I destroyed my doll and smashed the glass panel of my bedroom door during one particular meltdown. I value my anger as it’s got me through some really difficult times.

Interesting. I try to manage it because it exhausts me and I can't make it achieve anything.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/12/2022 15:31

Bluekerfuffle · 07/12/2022 14:49

I’m at the point where I’m wondering what’s taking Putin so long to press the damned button.

That really made me laugh.

Very dark humour but yes.

5128gap · 07/12/2022 15:34

WifeMotherWorker · 07/12/2022 15:01

YANBU
Women should have the freedom to be able to work as mothers and share the domestic jobs equally. However, the vast majority of women, I believe, are just natural nurturers and home makers. We take the lead with childcare and chores, we see what needs to be done and just own it and get on with it, to our detriment. We are great at multitasking. Men on the other hand are not, I don’t think they are useless, they are just not as amazing as women… which then gives us the rage!

A person doesn't need to be amazing to cook a meal, clean a floor and care for a child. They are extremely basic life skills. I don't believe for one moment that they are done by women because women are naturally better at them and men somehow less able. Just how incapable would men have to be for domestic work to genuinely be beyond them? Yet somehow they can do their 'Big Jobs'?
It's just a comforting and patronising lie told to women to manipulate them into doing the drudge work, while thinking its really important and only they are capable of it.

LlynTegid · 07/12/2022 15:42

Sexism.

The angry bad drivers especially in certain kinds of cars are majority men. Those on strike, majority men.

Anger is not just more in women.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 07/12/2022 16:02

WifeMotherWorker · 07/12/2022 15:01

YANBU
Women should have the freedom to be able to work as mothers and share the domestic jobs equally. However, the vast majority of women, I believe, are just natural nurturers and home makers. We take the lead with childcare and chores, we see what needs to be done and just own it and get on with it, to our detriment. We are great at multitasking. Men on the other hand are not, I don’t think they are useless, they are just not as amazing as women… which then gives us the rage!

A woman's biology dictates that we are physically weaker than men: we are built to birth and feed children. That's it. The rest is gender stereotyping: the suggestion that a role which benefits an overwhelmingly patriarchal society - to pick up their socks and change the nappies while they pursue the top brass - is 'natural' (and by implication, a woman who doesn't want to do these things is not 'natural').

Society had moved some way beyond this thinking until gender ideology reared its ugly head out of the woodwork and attempted to drag us all back there. Trouble is, they can't force people into belief and compliance.

Women are equally capable of holding down difficult, complex, professional jobs, and men are equally capable of nurturing their offspring and doing housework. As the dominant sex, they tend to be more aggressive than women but that is an altogether different topic.

OMG12 · 07/12/2022 16:12

Itsoktogiveup · 07/12/2022 13:17

I’m angry about rapists being allowed to tick a box on a form to get sent to a women’s prison.

I’m angry about teenage girls being told that short hair and a liking for sports means they’re really boys and they should consider breast amputation and drugs that will sterilise them.

I’m angry that men dressed as hypersexualised stereotypes of women are encouraged to read stories to, and make sexual jokes in front of, preschool kids and that parents who object to this are called bigots by the press.

I’m angry about the transgender boy who anally raped a 14 yr old girl at school and got interrupted by a teaching assistant who then left allowing him to carry on the rape, and that the school’s priority was to silence the girl’s father.

I’m angry about the coordinated destruction of the careers of female authors and teachers who raise concerns about the above.

I’m angry that the police do not investigate or prosecute crimes againat women and that the rape conviction rape is less than 1%, but the police enthusiastically arrest women who protest about male violence.

I’m angry about men in balaclavas physically attacking women who peacefully protest about the above issues.

(I’m sad, not angry, that the life choices I made when high on childbirth hormones have destroyed my career and consigned me to a lifetime of financially dependence and drudgery, and I’m sad that childbirth wrecked my body and left me with lifelong health issues. I’m not enjoying perimenopause either. But I’m too depressed to find my way out of all that).

I’m particularly angry that twenty years of shit politicians only interested in personal power has turned a once cool, powerful and wealthy country into one riddled with food banks where babies can’t get doctor appointments, old people are told ambulances will not come to help if they fall, and the poor are literally eating pet food. And I’m angry that the opposition has, againat all odds, managed the seemingly impossible feat of becoming even more shit than the ruling party.

every single last word of this

GaggleOfSwans · 07/12/2022 16:15

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purplemama1990 · 07/12/2022 16:21

I'm angry that when I leave things until DH notices... he NEVER notices. Even when it's own stuff he's left lying around not in its place or unclean or whatever! I'm angry that he watches me clean the house from top to bottom and run about after our toddler all day, and then he has the nerve to ask me to make him some dessert he likes "while I'm just standing in the kitchen".

GaggleOfSwans · 07/12/2022 16:29

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Soothsayer1 · 07/12/2022 18:07

However, the vast majority of women, I believe, are just natural nurturers and home makers
I'm wondering how you came to think that, I cant relate to it at all. Did you grow up in a quaker community, or some other closed group, or traditional patriarchal culture?