Are women getting angrier?

[Bosebeau]

The BBC have published an article about rising anger and stress levels in women…as if this is news!

Yes I am angry. I am angry that equality means I get out to go and have a job whilst still having to pick up most of the domestic work at home. I am angry that I pay most of the bills, but still have to be the one who organises Christmas, birthdays, the weekly food shop and even pull the damn blinds every morning.

I am angry that when I bring it up with my partner I am told “just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it”….you’re 40 fucking years old, the floor is dirty you shouldn’t need to be told to put the hoover round.

Im angry that the washing basket is overflowing with his clothes because they haven’t been washed in 5 weeks, but I’ve stopped doing his washing to see at what point he notices.

bloody hell BBC.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-63874001

@YellowTreeHouse that is really just an unnecessarily shitty thing to say.

It's accurate.

And certainly more relevant than blaming laundry piles etc on "equality".

Women are not angrier per se, but now they are getting much better at expressing their feelings and being comfortable now telling others how inequality and sexism and the attempts of destroying our hard fought for rights are affecting us.

I am now just imagining a weak livered BBC journo having had his nose put out of joint with his wife's new found assertiveness has found a way to vent his feelings.

Many men do not like angry women, period, and would infinitely prefer compliance and passivity. You are not supposed to take women's rights too far, right...

I am fucking raging.

That men can claim to be us and we're then told they're more oppressed than us.

That the BBC could only find 98 women for their 100 women list out of nearly 4 billion women across the globe, and had to include 2 men larping as us.

That women who've been raped are being told they're transphobic when they request female-only services.

That teenage girls are being told they're actually boys if they don't conform to sexist, regressive stereotypes, and that adults are giving them cross sex hormones and cutting their breasts off.

That lesbians are being told to 'unlearn their genital preferences' and date transwomen - because if a transwoman has a penis, it's a female penis.

That the very word 'woman' is becoming taboo. That we're increasingly no longer allowed to use it to describe 51% of the world's population and out sex-specific experiences. That the word 'woman' must now include men who get a sexual thrill from forcing the world to pretend they're female. That the NHS - the NHS!! - is removing it from pages that describe women's health issues, but not removing the word 'men' from theirs.

That most people won't call any of this shit out, even though they see it, for fear of being called bigoted. Since when did recognising reality equal bigotry?

I am absolutely fucking livid.

Too bloody right, women are expected to do EVERYTHING while men sit on their arses.
Since my divorce my anger levels have gone right down.

Nothing more than gender prescribed soma.

Everything @countrypunk said.

And add - women affected by rape being told to 'reframe their trauma' if they want to be treated by a therapist of the same sex. Makes me so fucking angry. Phobic now means 'if you disagree with me'. The meaning has been changed to suit one side's ideology and we just have to put up with it.

This....

Women often perpetuate this nonsense... By low expectations of sons... Thay they're somehow above /not able to do domestic share...

The overt stuff is challengeable...

Ex mother- in- law :
'its not fair on my son, a working man🙄, should come home and be expected to cook and do housework'....

Ah so I work longer hours and have longer commute... But its OK for ME to do it....

This woman was 55 at the time ffs... Only in early 1990s...

Its all the covert stuff that's really difficult to change.

If there are real women on here that are not angry then maybe they should ask what it is that they missed.

"When you keep your head when everyone about you is losing theirs, maybe you don't understand the situation"

Alternative Kipling quote.

Exactly- there was a post earlier on Facebook about a woman’s only festival (The Burning Woman Festival in Leicestershire ) someone dared ask what their definition of woman was.

Usual spiel about it being inclusive, trying to call out bigotry because someone dares point out someone with a cock isn’t female, banning of posters etc. apparently they had never had an issue, but that’s not the point, it is buying into and supporting an ideology that is doing a great deal of harm to women.

once again womens voices are being shut down

@Jellycatspyjamas I think you're absolutely right.
Up until recently, I was one of those women who thought we were all but there in terms of equality, I didn't understand why my sister and friends were so wound-up and convinced we were so far off.

That is until I was one of multiple women sexually harassed at work by one man- who my (apparently progressive Civil Service) employer didn't even take to full investigation and instead allowed to escape quietly to his new job (on promotion) in another government department.

I am angry that not only will the women I work with not get justice, but pur employer has paved the way for him to move to a new fertile ground of other women to inflict his disgusting behaviour on. I am angry that the message appears to be that one man's words are worth more than four womens'. I am angry that the other message is that objectifying women and treating them disgracefully is how you climb the ladder to success. Vile.

I'm angry.

I'm angry that I'm paid less than a male is for the same role.

I'm angry that government policies are designed with male as a default

I'm angry that I have poorer health outcomes than men with the same illness

I'm angry at the eroding of same sex spaces

I'm angry that healthcare in this country is declining from an already poor level but that you can't have a sensible discussion for NHS reform

I'm angry that Liz T helped to hasten an economic nightmare and that idiot Tory voters thought she'd be a sensible choice

I'm angry at Brexit

I'm angry that whilst I recycle and reuse and buy local, it won't make a jot of difference to climate change.

I'm angry that lockdown is harming our children still

I'm also angry with those who don't indicate at roundabouts, those who jump the queue at a set of lights on the school run (I beep every. Single. Time. To make my thoughts heard), the schools what's app group with totally incompetent parents asking the same questions

I'm worried for my daughters' futures.

Yes, I'm angry.

Capitalism really did a number on women. They are expected/have to work now as well as take the domestic load if the family is to keep its head above water.

Oh, and I'm angry that I've been raped twice and sexually assaulted several times but that it's taken me years to realise that it was rape, not just me being risky, and that it wasn't my fault.

I'm angry for a system which wouldn't believe me, wouldn't care, and would blame me for what happened. I'm angry that these men continue to hold successful jobs, their place in society, and carry on with their lives unaltered.

Why are you angry at the BBC for reporting it? You’re angry, they say women are getting angrier, that’s also made you angry, what do you want from this article exactly?

It's not necessarily that many of us are angrier as such, it's more that the masks are off and we're keeping them off. Many of us have rejected the whole trotted out "be kind" (i.e. shut up and know your place) rhetoric, and many of us are rightly worried and annoyed that we're seeing our fought-for rights rapidly disappearing in many areas. And no, we're not going to sit idly by and let this happen.

For me personally it is a mixture of this, menopause and accepting my neurodivergent identity. So for me it's bluntness and honesty. I won't go back in my pre-diagnostic boxes to please others, and I won't be told what to think and say by (often younger and misguided) keyboard warriors.

Even the 'angry' narrative makes me angry. In the same way that women being described as 'bossy' rather than 'assertive' does.

Women are merely becoming more confident in voicing their concerns and Irritations. The fact that they're feeling more empowered is a good thing. In my opinion though they're still not 'angry' enough. picking up on the op's relationship with her dh are missing the point. She is not alone in picking up all the 'wife work' and life admin. Mental load and burnout is a real thing. The majority of women take the mental load, even if their male partners are otherwise great husbands, fathers, pull their weight around the house etc. They tend to only do so when left lists, reminders etc by the women in their lives. When does this pattern begin? In early childhood. How do children learn that women organise, take the mental load, arrange everything? From their parents firstly - both parents.

Mental load is endemic in all aspects of our lives, reinforced through societal 'norms' and expectations.

Exactly women subject to physical and sexual violence by a man being told their reactions aren’t reasonable and make yourself submissive to my needs, by another man.

But we can do something, we can call it out at every opportunity, we can sign the petition to define woman in the Equalities Act, petition.parliament.uk/petitions/623243
we can stand up for our sex and refuse to be silenced by the vitriolic words of those who would oppress us. We can rebel and not be the timid little women many would like us to be

I was told in therapy a few years ago to find my anger. Well, I found it ...

That the very word 'woman' is becoming taboo. That we're increasingly no longer allowed to use it to describe 51% of the world's population and out sex-specific experiences.

Boils my piss, this does. We are not fucking 'bleeders'. We are not a dirty little secret; 'she who cannot be named'.

We are human beings comprising 51% of the populace. We are sentient beings, not service droids programmed to do others' bidding.

I, for one, will not be throwing a Newspeak dictionary at J K Rowling. 'There used to be a word for this ...' (Unpersons)?

This whole noise can fuck right off. Anger, not repression for the sake of being kind, is the healthy response.

All the time I spent married and cohabiting I was permanently furious
I am still married but we live separately and my life is significantly more peaceful😇

I agree. You hear often "but at least you have a choice". No, you don't have a choice, this is what you have to do to keep up with high cost of living. Many men aren't able to financially provide for family, even if them&wives would rather stick to more traditional family setup. Some men being useless at home, it's a different story. But even those couples who share the load are tired. It's too much.

Capitalism really did a number on women. They are expected/have to work now as well as take the domestic load if the family is to keep its head above water.
Working class women have always worked you know that, right? At least both my grandmothers and all my great grandmothers did.
Anyway, agree most women would feel less angry if they didn’t cohabit with men. It’s just affording being single that is holding me back right now…

No, that wasn’t capitalism. That was feminism that fucked us over.

And so the OP gets blamed for her poor choice of life partner because like many men he fails to see or deal with housework etc? How ridiculous. I think there are many women living with men who they love and see many good qualities in but recognise that the majority of domestic chores, child rearing and the life admin will fall to them (the woman) or it won't get done. Who wants to keep instructing and reminding a grown ass man in that way? How are we stuck with this level of inequality in the home?