To think colleague should have asked if I wanted Christmas off before she booked it off?

[SulkySam]

AIBU to be a bit pissed off colleague booked this Christmas off when she had last Christmas off too? Isn’t it the polite thing to alternate having it off.

I started in role in September last year and she’d already booked off for last year before I started. Absolutely fine.

For this year she mentioned in conversation she’d booked it off, told me it had been approved as if it was fait accompli. No discussion and as it had already been approved there wasn’t much I could say! Quite pissed off manager just approved it as well.

Obviously I’ve know for a few months now but it is still making me seethe! She is an older lady, no DC while I have 5 DC including two disabled children.

Of course that doesn’t mean I have priority over her having time off for Christmas (just to make that clear before someone jumps on it) but isn’t it usual etiquette to take turns?

Christmas leave shouldn’t be first come first served. Manager should ask for preferences and decide accordingly to a fair system, ie if you both want it off then it’s done in turn or day each etc

YANBU.

I wouldn’t dream of not discussing leave with my work colleague, but that’s because I think it’s only fair.

If I was you, I’d book Christmas 2023, in the new year (or as soon as you’re able) but I’d be the bigger person and mention it to your colleague. I wouldn’t ask her if she’d mind though, I’d just say something along the lines of ‘I’m just letting you know, in plenty of time, that I’m requesting Christmas off this year, as I’ve worked the last two, so I’m booking these with my manager now so I don’t miss out’!

For this year can you have NYE off? Is your colleague back in then? (Sorry if already mentioned).

I think I and most posters will have missed this! So neither actually working Christmas day, and the same last year which was a Saturday? Really don't understand all the drama then!

I'll try again, as apparently I was deemed entitled for my last suggestion to the OP (I don't know how that makes ME entitled as it has nothing to do with my Christmas).

Obviously "first come, first served" doesn't work, as people will start booking earlier and earlier to make sure they get their preferences. If you know you'll always want Christmas off, you could theoretically book it for the next five years.

The way it works in my job, my manager sets a deadline for applying for specific holidays (ie summer break, Christmas, winter, Easter, etc.). Then decides among those applying according to the deadline. Makes way more sense, and gives you a reminder that it's time to book annual leave, if for whatever reason your mind is elsewhere.

For this year can you have NYE off? Is your colleague back in then? (Sorry if already mentioned).

After her further post she has got Christmas off it is the 28-30 she is moaning about.

Crikey! The OP chose a very apt username.

She clearly doesn’t like her colleague, and is making a fuss over absolutely nothing. The whole of her posts are not really about Christmas. They’re about how terrible her colleague is, and how wonderful she is.

This is one thread where I’d LIVE to hear the other side. And the manager’s POV.

Manager should oveseee and frankly start planning it Sep/Oct to get all request in and plan cover

@Zone2NorthLondon agreed. I get all requests in by end of September and confirm within a week of that. People need to be able to plan. They can add extra requests after that but they won't be guaranteed as it depends whether we have enough cover.

I’m thinking that next year the post might be something like “I have worked the last two Christmases (between Christmas and New Year) to cover for my colleague. This year I booked the week between Christmas and New Year and my request was approved in January. I have just found out that my colleague’s request for leave has also been approved even though she only submitted the request in August. AIBU to think she should cover, as I did the previous two years, even though neither her manager nor mine think it’s necessary?”
I think it’s a bit chaotic to have two people who cover for each other to have different managers, and for a part time person to provide cover for a full- timer if they can’t both be absent at the same time.

well not really, as people’s leave requests would concern that year, not five years in the future.

That some people dislike the concept of first come first served doesn’t mean it doesn’t work, it just means it’s not their preferred way of sorting out leave. You’ll find FCFS is the system recommended by bodies advising on employment law.

Ahebis no less deserving of a Christmas holiday than you. You obviously think having kids trumps other people without kids, you wouldn't have mentioned it if it you didn't feel that way.
You knew you would want Christmas off to be with your kids who were obviously there previous Christmases. Sorry but first come first served.

Working 28-30 is not working Xmas. Goodness. Imagine if you were in a job where you had to work Bank Holidays. You would be in a permanent state of outrage.

So are you going to try and book off next Christmas right now? Or whenever your holiday year restarts.

Get in there early

So you're not actually working Christmas at all then?! What a lot of fuss about nothing.

Given your colleague clearly has health issues as well OP (much as you've tried to imply her sick leave is some kind of malingering, it appears her manager who will be party to the facts doesn't agree) it seems reasonable for her to want to book a stretch of uninterrupted leave. It would be far less team spirited of her to take extra sick days over Xmas, thereby keeping back her AL to use as extra time off.
Every life stage brings its challenges. You have the responsibility of 5 children now, but in a decade when you're an 'older lady' you might have other just as important needs. As a younger woman you should really drop the idea that older women are there to facilitate you, and be glad there are no expectations that discriminate against them. You'll be there yourself before you know it, so it's an investment in your future.

She is always off sick and had been for the last 2 weeks and constantly complains that she’s not feeling great so can’t do much. Her manager will do nothing about her as she’s a quite a confrontational person.

you really are making yourself more unpleasant! So colleague being off sick is something the manager should be doing something about?....
She's quite right to be confrontational if she's being harraunged for being off sick and should go to her union if its being discussed with you!

It’s only just over the last couple of weeks, that I’ve been thinking wtf! We actually WFH and it’s the Weds, Thurs and Fri that needs to be worked

Please don’t say this whole fuss is over working the three days in between Christmas and NY from home?!

Rightly or wrongly, I always take Christmas off and leave my colleague to work, much to his frustration.

He makes such a huge song and dance about how awful Christmas is. He doesn't agree with any part of it at all and refuses to let any Christmas come near our office so no music, no decs, no secret Santa, no Christmas meal/party etc. If he overhears anyone talking about what they're buying their kids or attending a nativity play or anything he launches into rants about it and tries to shame people for taking part.

He whined at me earlier this year that I've got 2 weeks off at the end of December and I pointed out that since he obviously doesn't partake in Christmas then there is no reason for me to cut my celebrations short.

He does have kids and tried to use this one year to make a point but I just said that if he so strongly disagrees with Christmas to the point that he actively tried to shame people for taking part then surely he is raising his kids to do the same.

You'll be there yourself before you know it, so it's an investment in your future.

Well, you have to hope so. The alternative is worse!

@SliceOfCakeCupOfTea I’m glad we don’t work together. You know that you don’t have to like Christmas to like having time off when other people are also off, yeah?

PPs talking about all this fuss or all this drama as though she's been on BBC breaking down about it 😂 a post on AIBU saying she's a little pissed off is hardly making a huge deal of it?! Many people on this thread sound more dramatic than the OP does!

Yabu just make sure you get in early to book it off next year.

You sound like an absolute arsehole. Whatever your colleague thinks about Xmas, his kids will still have two weeks holiday from school. But you're giving him no opportunity at all to spend time with them over that break?
If you had a Jewish or Muslim colleague who didn't celebrate Xmas at all but had school age kids, would you behave in the same way?
Shame on you and your manager who enables you to be a selfish arse.

It’s for him to think about his kids when he antagonises his colleagues I would say.

Sorry but if he is going to repeatedly tell me what an awful person I am for celebrating christmas and wanting time off to see friends and family then no, he can swivel. He can take time off any time throughout the year and it makes absolutely no difference to him