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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think colleague should have asked if I wanted Christmas off before she booked it off?

384 replies

SulkySam · 06/12/2022 19:15

AIBU to be a bit pissed off colleague booked this Christmas off when she had last Christmas off too? Isn’t it the polite thing to alternate having it off.

I started in role in September last year and she’d already booked off for last year before I started. Absolutely fine.

For this year she mentioned in conversation she’d booked it off, told me it had been approved as if it was fait accompli. No discussion and as it had already been approved there wasn’t much I could say! Quite pissed off manager just approved it as well.

Obviously I’ve know for a few months now but it is still making me seethe! She is an older lady, no DC while I have 5 DC including two disabled children.

Of course that doesn’t mean I have priority over her having time off for Christmas (just to make that clear before someone jumps on it) but isn’t it usual etiquette to take turns?

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 09/12/2022 16:22

Cantbebotheredwithausername · 09/12/2022 15:50

Tell your manager early (January for example) that as your colleague had Christmas off two years in a row, so now it'll be your turn to have Christmas off two years in a row, and after that you'll suggest alternating?

The entitlement of some posters! Op for thinking colleague in November should have run it past her before booking leave and here for thinking the op should be telling the manager she's taking the next 2 Christmases off then will consider alternating after that! 😆

Katelabonbon · 09/12/2022 16:25

Your ageist shite can do one! . ‘ an older lady’
you were too disorganised to book your time off.
your colleague got in first . Tough!

Againstmachine · 09/12/2022 18:13

From the posts the OP expects first dibs at holidays despite expecting colleague to be physic to her needs.

The colleague has covered for OP many times during emergency leave.

Where is the OP partner in all this no mention at all. Also if you have 5 children I'm sure many people have had to cover for her many times.

As said I avoid school holidays rest of year for parents but they want you to avoid Christmas too.

BashfulClam · 09/12/2022 19:27

NalaNana · 09/12/2022 14:29

I'm a bit surprised by how many posters don't take their colleagues children into account to be honest. Maybe I've just always had good relationships with co workers, but I've always considered their circumstances if they have children and (usually) deferred to their preferred dates when it comes to annual leave, especially in school holidays or at Christmas. I've always felt that because I don't have children I can be more flexible, so why wouldn't I be 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why should I, they aren’t my children 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
SulkySam · 09/12/2022 19:41

To clarify colleague booked Christmas off in August. I was shocked at that time but didn’t think much of it as brain processing other life changing stuff.

I took 2 days emergency leave while DC was in hospital. She certainly is not ‘burnt out’ from covering for me, she doesn’t even do her own job! She is the type who does as little as possible and I’m constantly having to do work she should have done and try to fit a full time job into my part time hours. She is always off sick and had been for the last 2 weeks and constantly complains that she’s not feeling great so can’t do much. Her manager will do nothing about her as she’s a quite a confrontational person.

It’s only just over the last couple of weeks, that I’ve been thinking wtf! We actually WFH and it’s the Weds, Thurs and Fri that needs to be worked.

People are batshit on here. I do not expect her to work every Christmas as I have DC. I worked last year with no issues. Are you all not able to read!

OP posts:
Cheesuswithallama · 09/12/2022 19:43

So you did not also request in in August pointing out you did last Christmas?
Just left it? Then no wonder she really got it.... Obviously

EmmetEmma · 09/12/2022 19:50

@Cheesuswithallama OP didn’t book the time off then or try and negotiate with her colleague as her kid was seriously ill In hospital and she was trying to process life changing information.

Presumably Christmas was not really featuring in her thoughts at that time. It wouldn’t be in mine.

Now she is a bit pissed off and had a fairly mild whinge on mumsnet. She hasn’t complained to her manager or her colleague, just wondered online whether it’s reasonable for her to be a bit peeved.

All the pain and worry she has presumably faced has been ignored in a frenzied desire to tell her that she is entitled, ageist, child-centric and rude for not wanting to work two christmases in a row and thinking that her colleague and her manager could have considered the fairness of it before the leave was granted.

FOJN · 09/12/2022 19:57

It would be unusual for the annual leave year to start in August, it's more likely to start in January or April so I'm guessing the OP had months to prioritise booking Christmas leave before life events took over in August.

Add to that the OP is not actually expected to work on the 25th so will be with her children for present opening and Christmas dinner.

I worked shifts for years and worked every other Christmas without complaint, I mean actually worked Christmas as in a 12.5 hour shift on Christmas day, most people were perfectly fine doing this but there were some parents who really felt aggrieved about having to work as per contract.

Katelabonbon · 09/12/2022 20:08

The OP’s kids and her family arrangements have nothing to do with her colleagues. They are her responsibility.
She has shown she thinks she is special, and older people’s time are not as precious as hers.

Cheesuswithallama · 09/12/2022 20:12

@EmmetEmma op took 2 days, even if she went in September and said she was in that and that situation, she would like it because she worked last the manager could atill take consideration. You don't leave it till November and then stew

EmmetEmma · 09/12/2022 20:13

@Cheesuswithallama presumably when your child is in hospital with a life changing illness you aren’t really thinking about leave allocation and Christmas, you are thinking how you will get through that day

EmmetEmma · 09/12/2022 20:15

She said she didn’t really think about it until November, basically accepted it but thinks that if it were her she would have consulted with her colleague before booking the time.

Even if you wouldn’t consult with your colleague surely you can see that it would be a polite and reasonable thing to do?

Cheesuswithallama · 09/12/2022 20:15

EmmetEmma · 09/12/2022 20:13

@Cheesuswithallama presumably when your child is in hospital with a life changing illness you aren’t really thinking about leave allocation and Christmas, you are thinking how you will get through that day

You still don't leave it until last moment essentially and then moan.

EmmetEmma · 09/12/2022 20:17

@Cheesuswithallama Pretty sure people moan about all manner of unreasonable things - but and this isn’t even that unreasonable - in an ideal world people would alternate who is working Christmas unless there are specific circumstances - would you agree?

Cheesuswithallama · 09/12/2022 20:20

EmmetEmma · 09/12/2022 20:17

@Cheesuswithallama Pretty sure people moan about all manner of unreasonable things - but and this isn’t even that unreasonable - in an ideal world people would alternate who is working Christmas unless there are specific circumstances - would you agree?

In an ideal world you need to know people want it to alternate not just push AL on someone who never asked for the time off....

pinkfondu · 09/12/2022 20:26

Surely you should have booked when the holiday year opened. You had all the days before she booked it and hadn't bothered 🤷‍♀️

whumpthereitis · 09/12/2022 21:13

EmmetEmma · 09/12/2022 20:13

@Cheesuswithallama presumably when your child is in hospital with a life changing illness you aren’t really thinking about leave allocation and Christmas, you are thinking how you will get through that day

That really isn’t the colleague’s issue to consider.

Again, the business operates an established FCFS system. OP not getting her leave request in early is not the colleague’s fault, or indeed the manager’s.

juice92 · 09/12/2022 23:49

It sounds like Christmas could be booked off at any time during the year. If you wanted it off you should have booked it. Next year just book it as soon as you're able to.

But I do agree it is annoying having to cover Christmas several years in a row

EasterIsland · 10/12/2022 06:40

thinking that her colleague and her manager could have considered the fairness of it before the leave was granted.

But @EmmetEmma in her OP there’s no mention of her manager. No complaint against manager or the system of allocating leave at holiday times.

Just a line of blame against her colleague on the grounds her colleague is an old childless woman. Not nice.

unpocamasporfavor · 10/12/2022 08:42

I'd be pissed off too in the OP's situation. Where ever I've worked, Xmas leave has to be discussed before it's booked. If she had Xmas off last year, I'd absolutely expect the OP to have first dibs this year.
I think the colleague was thoughtless and quite sneaky, and that the line management and processes are also pretty crap.

bumpytrumpy · 10/12/2022 08:51

Christmas isn't on weds Thurs Fri? So you're either talking about 21-23 or 28-30? Neither of which is a massive hardship and particularly WFH - how much will you actually need to do?

You made it sound like you'd be missing Xmas dinner

Blondeshavemorefun · 10/12/2022 09:08

If you want 28/29/30 off wed thur Fri why didn’t you book it months ago

many people have to work between Xmas and new year

I am

alasangne · 10/12/2022 09:12

SulkySam · 09/12/2022 19:41

To clarify colleague booked Christmas off in August. I was shocked at that time but didn’t think much of it as brain processing other life changing stuff.

I took 2 days emergency leave while DC was in hospital. She certainly is not ‘burnt out’ from covering for me, she doesn’t even do her own job! She is the type who does as little as possible and I’m constantly having to do work she should have done and try to fit a full time job into my part time hours. She is always off sick and had been for the last 2 weeks and constantly complains that she’s not feeling great so can’t do much. Her manager will do nothing about her as she’s a quite a confrontational person.

It’s only just over the last couple of weeks, that I’ve been thinking wtf! We actually WFH and it’s the Weds, Thurs and Fri that needs to be worked.

People are batshit on here. I do not expect her to work every Christmas as I have DC. I worked last year with no issues. Are you all not able to read!

So its not even Christmas day.

Jeez.

Get over yourself.

ZombieMumEB · 10/12/2022 09:19

bumpytrumpy · 10/12/2022 08:51

Christmas isn't on weds Thurs Fri? So you're either talking about 21-23 or 28-30? Neither of which is a massive hardship and particularly WFH - how much will you actually need to do?

You made it sound like you'd be missing Xmas dinner

This.

Stop being a drama queen.

Katelabonbon · 10/12/2022 09:19

What a load of drama over nothing!