To think colleague should have asked if I wanted Christmas off before she booked it off?

[SulkySam]

AIBU to be a bit pissed off colleague booked this Christmas off when she had last Christmas off too? Isn’t it the polite thing to alternate having it off.

I started in role in September last year and she’d already booked off for last year before I started. Absolutely fine.

For this year she mentioned in conversation she’d booked it off, told me it had been approved as if it was fait accompli. No discussion and as it had already been approved there wasn’t much I could say! Quite pissed off manager just approved it as well.

Obviously I’ve know for a few months now but it is still making me seethe! She is an older lady, no DC while I have 5 DC including two disabled children.

Of course that doesn’t mean I have priority over her having time off for Christmas (just to make that clear before someone jumps on it) but isn’t it usual etiquette to take turns?

I expect I'll be flamed but I actually think it's fairer that those with young children (let's say primary aged and below) get Christmas off over others with older / adult/ no children if they celebrate Christmas for religious reasons.

Flamed because this is moronic.

And this is from a parent of primary aged children. My children don’t trump anyone else.

@chocolatemademefat I have 4 kids, I still say if it's free for all then parents shouldn't get priority. Older workers may have frail parents that might not see another Christmas, some workers may have families abroad that only get together at Christmas, no one is more entitled to specific days than anyone else on a first come first served basis

Taking turns is all well and good in theory but in practice difficult to stick to because there will always be exceptional circumstances cropping up where someone thinks they should have Christmas off this year even though they had it off last year as well.

Taking turns is all well and good in theory but in practice difficult to stick to because there will always be exceptional circumstances cropping up where someone thinks they should have Christmas off this year even though they had it off last year as well.

Plus there will be people who havent been there a year or won't be there next year.

@HerMajestysRoyalCoven I never said I liked that system, indeed, childless collegues fall out. As long as our children were small it was nice for us, once the children grew up we never had days off during the school holidays. Still, it was a sort of solidarity. I don’t think we had people without children in the team, and those with older children had enjoyed the benefits when the children were small.

The turn and turn about worked well because not everyone wanted that time off. We had a minimum number required to run the service, those who worked the year before were asked if they wanted that time off. The ones who wanted it got it providing there was cover.If more were willing to work then the ones who took time the previous year were asked next. If there were new employees then they probably didn't have enough annual leave yet to take time off. In practice it worked because we knew that we were very likely to be working one year and not the next. The same happened with the 6 weeks summer holidays, most got the time they wanted but might have to take the 2 weeks at the beginning not 2 at the end.

You said “In my book your collegue would never make it to the frontline”, which sounded like an endorsement to me.

If you worked in an environment where nobody was without children and so everyone got a chance to benefit then fair enough but I still think it’s dodgy as heck to have a policy that basically prevents a childless person from ever getting Christmas (and school holidays) off.

Well yes, it was nice for you because it benefited you. It’s a deeply unpleasant system for those expected to sacrifice though, and hardly shows solidarity for anyone that isn’t a parent.

@whumpthereitis , oh but I absolutely agree! Let me add that once our children were a bit older we lost the privilege as well! Thinking of going away during springbreak and hearing that those with children need that time to go skiing. Oh well. I suppose this is a first-world problem 😊

…and that is indeed benefiting from the system, unlike those without children who were getting fucked over by it.

Nobody should be getting preferential treatment and management should be making sure popular holidays periods are distributed to those that want them fairly. Lazy management, if you ask me.

If she had run it by you, then what? You say you want it off and she cancels?

Personally, I've never worked anywhere that is FCFS for Christmas leave but if that is how your workplace does it, I'd have expected you to have already requested quite early on.

As a child free person I never take any holidays in school holidays apart from Christmas but apparently I'm selfish if I take time off when it's a time to eat drink and merry.

All these weeks I avoid for them, all the times covered for childcare issues, all the times covered for leaving early etc. But nah we are selfish.

but I still think it’s dodgy as heck to have a policy that basically prevents a childless person from ever getting Christmas (and school holidays) off

Indeed, I could imagine circumstances in which this would be a case of unlawful discrimination - EVERYONE has the right to a family life, and to be treated equally.

It is selfish. I work over Christmas whilst others are off. For a previous team I worked Christmas then went away for a week in the new year. I came to find that my two colleagues had carved up each bank holiday week between them. I complained but I was told that it was first come, first served.

I now make sure I booked the leave I want in advance.

Book next Christmas and the Christmases ever after.

It will be interesting if any company ever puts that in writing and someone brings a case against them then.

Regardless of who has children and who doesn’t, where there are only two people sharing a role, surely it is fair for them to take turns to have Christmas off?

Arguably it’s also fair to give them equal opportunity to request it first.

Imo it’s going to be a matter of time, especially with the number of childless/childfree increasing.

there has been a move away from ‘parents get priority’ when it comes to advice given to employers on this issue, as the needs and rights of all employees need to be considered. Not just in regards to equality and diversity, but also because it’s good business sense.

I am giving it 4 years max.
Good luck to whoever will make it into law texbooks!

Exactly. I’ve worked with child free people married to teachers. They would never get a holiday if it was determined that only people with kids could get school holidays. I do have kids but I manage my leave well and get my requests in in a timely manner or for Christmas I put in my requests and hope for what I asked for, but suck it up if I don’t.

I have to say I can’t see it ever getting to the stage where a court will assist childless people in not being put upon at work, as the need to protect women from discrimination on the grounds of pregnancy and maternity is too strong. We’re collateral damage. The better thing would be to make it so that men can be more active childcarers but many mums don’t want that to happen, so I don’t know what the answer is.

Good god. just came back to this thread.

No where did I say that I should have priority for time off at Christmas because I have DC! I was making the point that it's not like she has childcare or caring responsibilities (and I know this). A decent person though would have thought, well I had Christmas off last year so I'll check if she wants it off this year before I book it when she's off dealing with her DC's sudden diagnosis of a life threatening condition! That's what you'd do in a 2 person team when you have to cover for each other surely, especially knowing the other person has a big family. That's what I'd do anyway but I'm obviously a better person than her and most of you on here.

She doesn’t need to have responsibilities. Your responsibilities are just that: yours, not hers.

as far as you not considering her decent goes, oh well. I’m sure she, like the rest of us, will cope.

Jesus I can see your name isn't just a handle is it love!