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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think something has happened to my mum?

258 replies

Pippa113 · 06/12/2022 19:10

My mum usually calls atleast once a day, usually more. Every Tuesday she comes here for her dinner and to see her grandchildren.

I spoke to her multiple times yesterday, the last thing she said was that she was going to see her sister today but was quite apprehensive about it because she is off her meds and has been behaving strangely (she has paranoid schizophrenia) and she doesn't like going round when she's like that.

Mum's phone has been off all day, this isn't like mum these days, she's always reachable and always calling. Her sisters phone is off too.

I have a sinking feeling that something has happened to her. I don't know what to do or if I'm being irrational / prejudice or ignorant.

Would I be contacted if something had happened? I can't go down there, 3 poorly DC here and no car.

Would you be worried?

OP posts:
DarkShade · 06/12/2022 20:57

Don't worry OP, some people can't understand what it's like to have no one in real life to turn to, or very few people. Glad that your mum is ok, hope your aunt is too.

Floomobal · 06/12/2022 20:58

Glassslapper · 06/12/2022 19:19

Seek help for your anxiety if this is genuinely what you think has happened

Show quote history

@Glassslapper seek help for your comprehension and sympathy.

PurpleButterflyWings · 06/12/2022 20:58

Pippa113 · 06/12/2022 20:52

I've just caught up with all of the replies and christ there are some nasty people about tonight.

I posted here after calling my best friend and getting no answer, I was worrying and wanted to relay it all to somebody not so close to the situation to ascertain whether I was being daft or duly concerned.

I called the police minutes after posting once I was satisfied that I didn't seem dramatic or daft.

My other reply that got deleted was a screenshot of me on the call to 101, a (now deleted) poster implied I wasn't telling the truth and it was strange I would post about it on mumsnet etc.

Thank you to everybody else who was helpful and kind, I appreciate it.

I can't get any answer from the MH unit my aunt is usually sent to so no idea whether she's been sectioned or not yet. I hope she has as we'll then know she's safe.

@Pippa113
'Christ there are some NASTY people here tonight!'

Who's been nasty? What has anyone said that is 'nasty?' Confused Apart from the ONE poster who said you were making it all up?

HighlandsMum · 06/12/2022 20:58

I’m glad your mum is okay Op, hopefully your aunt is okay too

TheGander · 06/12/2022 20:59

As the the sister who had to get MH services involved, from scratch , for my brother who was finally sectioned, I feel for your mum. I hope ( and suspect) your sister has been sectioned and will be found, but it must be a tense time for you both. 💐

knittingaddict · 06/12/2022 21:05

I also suspect that the aunt has been sectioned. My mil was uncontactable, a family member went round expecting the worst. They found all the curtains closed and was scared that they would find a dead body. The house was empty.

Turned out that mil had been sectioned via police involvement, had been in hospital for a couple of weeks and no one had contacted her adult children. It was incredibly stressful.

I hope this is the case op. Some people don't understand what it can be like and a handful of mentally ill people are a danger to others. Not their fault but it doesn't help to pretend otherwise. Obviously most are just a danger to themselves. Mental illness is brutal.

Unsure33 · 06/12/2022 21:15

Please make sure you have contact numbers for your mums neighbours for the future and they have yours so they can contact you if necessary.

Icanflyhigh · 06/12/2022 21:17

Glad your mum is OK, fingers crossed your aunt is OK too x

Wiluli · 06/12/2022 21:20

Hun contact the police asap they will do a welfare check .

Pinkflipflop85 · 06/12/2022 21:25

Wiluli · 06/12/2022 21:20

Hun contact the police asap they will do a welfare check .

At least read the OPs posts before posting 🙄

RiderOfTheBlue · 06/12/2022 21:26

Wiluli · 06/12/2022 21:20

Hun contact the police asap they will do a welfare check .

Hun, read the thread.

Fleurdaisy · 06/12/2022 21:28

Glad your mum is ok and you know she is safe.
Worrying about your aunt. Is she likely to wander in town centre or anywhere in particular? I’d be inclined to call police again and report her as a missing vulnerable person. If she is already known to them they’ll look out for her on night shift. Hope she’s ok, totally understand your stress.

Willygogs · 06/12/2022 21:40

Glad your mum is ok. Hope you find out what’s happening with your aunt soon

Original poster
Pippa113 · 06/12/2022 22:06

I managed to get an answer from somebody on one of the wards in the MH unit who confirmed she isn't in their ward but would transfer me to somebody who could locate her if she is in hospital but that number just went to voicemail. I've left a message explaining who I'm looking for and left my details.

Mum wants to report her as missing so she'll be doing that now. If she was taken in hopefully the missing persons report will flag it up.

OP posts:
butterfliedtwo · 06/12/2022 22:09

Hope you're aunt is OK. Such a worry but what a relief that your mum is home and well.

Supersimkin2 · 06/12/2022 22:10

Get DM’s neighbour’s numbers and put them in your phone now.

It’s very rare for schizophrenics to be violent, as you’ll know. Female schizophrenics even rarer.

TrentCrimm · 06/12/2022 22:12

I'm sorry that the ordeal isn't quite over yet, but very glad your mum is safe and sound

Justonecat · 06/12/2022 22:13

Dear OP, I understand your concerns completely, we too have a family member who suffers from
paranoid schizophrenia and it’s not unrealistic to worry like you have done.

SpicyFoodRocks · 06/12/2022 22:17

Who is the next of kin? Is it your mum? Could she call the local crisis team/home treatment team? They should be 24/7 and should be able to look your aunt up on their electronic patient records. Presuming these services exist where she is.

Thehawki · 06/12/2022 22:19

Just read your messages on the thread, glad your mum is okay. Hope you can find out where your aunt is soon, must have been a really stressful day for you! xx

MummyofTw0 · 06/12/2022 22:21

Thank god your mum is ok. I hope you find your Aunt xxx

workiskillingme · 06/12/2022 22:23

I'm really glad your Mum is okay and can see why you would worry. I hope your aunt is ok too and can get back on the road to recovery

allboysherebutme · 06/12/2022 22:26

Glad mum is okay. Hope aunt is too. X

Wakk · 06/12/2022 22:29

I hope your aunt is okay

CatsandDogs22 · 06/12/2022 22:30

I’m glad your mum is safe and that you’ve decided to report your aunt missing, I hope they find her safe.

I’m sorry that there are some nasty people on here, and even after you’ve confirmed your aunts history of aggression/violence, down playing the risk. I’m not sure why they think it’s helpful.