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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Front row seats for PTA

212 replies

pitapta · 06/12/2022 15:53

I’ve name changed because a few people know my usual username on here and I’d rather not be linked to the following petty moaning…

I know there are bigger things to worry about at the moment BUT this has really left a bad taste in my mouth. I attended DD’s first ever school play this morning with my partner. She’s our PFB and this is the first time we’ve seen her in a school production so were really looking forward to it. I was told yesterday by a fellow parent that, although the play didn’t start for an hour, parents queued from drop off time so we wrapped up and joined the queue. We weren’t first but were three couples from the front of the queue. Waited in the freezing cold until doors opened at the start time only to be greeted by ‘reserved’ signs on the entire front row. Obviously didn’t know who these seats were reserved for so we dutifully took our seats on the second row before a bunch of the PTA waltzed in and took their front row seats. I had to ask two of them to lower their phones during the performance so I could actually see.

Is this normal? I couldn’t believe it. Surely it’s first come, first served and the fact we’d been queuing in the cold for an hour meant we should get the seats we wanted?

The show was great; I know this is the important thing but I still feel really cross and like this is deeply unfair. I wanted to email the school but my DP thinks they’re label me as pathetic and ignore it anyway.

AIBU and should I say something?

OP posts:
Lockdownmummy · 06/12/2022 15:55

Better than the school I heard about who auctioned off the front row to the highest paying parents!!!!

FelicityBennett · 06/12/2022 15:56

Suppose there has to be some benefits for giving up their time to help the school
Happens at every school I think, can be reserved for governors as well

You could join the PTA?

IncompleteSenten · 06/12/2022 15:56

They should not having been blocking people's views and you would have been reasonable to ask them to stop because you can't see but I think the pta (never been part of it myself) feel like it's a little perk in return for everything they do fundraising for the school.

KitchiHuritAngeni · 06/12/2022 15:56

Its the same at my kids school.

I don't begrudge them having a small perk because they put hours into fundraising and organising stuff for the benefit of all the kids.

Purplepepsi · 06/12/2022 15:59

Feels like a little perk for the frankly thankless task of raising money and making fun stuff happen in school for the kids. Just join up!

InDubiousBattle · 06/12/2022 15:59

It's normal in my experience and pretty fair when you consider the (many!)hours they give up to volunteer.

Lcb123 · 06/12/2022 16:00

Blocking your view is not OK, but fair enough to get a small reward for giving up their time to be on PTA

UrsulaPandress · 06/12/2022 16:01

Gosh. As PTA I couldn’t queue up as I was busy getting the refreshments ready for after the performance.

whattodo1975 · 06/12/2022 16:02

Lockdownmummy · 06/12/2022 15:55

Better than the school I heard about who auctioned off the front row to the highest paying parents!!!!

Not a bad fundraiser idea that in fairness.

Amberduck · 06/12/2022 16:04

May not be the case everywhere but at my kids old school the pta / parent volunteers would often be helping set up, checking people in, helping with the kids before the play so seats were reserved for them otherwise they would end up standing right at the back after they had finished helping. Certainly doesn't seem fair that they would get the worst seats in the house as a result of helping!

TeenDivided · 06/12/2022 16:04

If they were helping behind the scenes or doing refreshments then OK.
I used to reserve myself a seat but normally second or third row next to an aisle. This was so I could get in easily having been doing pre-show refreshments and out quickly for mid show sales too. We didn't have seats reserved just for 'PTA' though.

The recording thing is a whole other issue.

Lemonademoney · 06/12/2022 16:06

I don’t think that’s unfair at all. They are putting their time and effort in to supporting the school and surely this is one of the few perks? I do think it’s unreasonable to block someone else’s view

Wynturphelle · 06/12/2022 16:06

Years ago now, but the same thing happened when my kids were at Primary. Only one time, the 'reserved' signs were not put out before the long queue of parents were admitted to the hall. A teacher came out and cleared the front row of audience members in order to put the signs down. The people who'd been first in the queue then found themselves at the back of the hall!

A bug bear of mine were the plays/nativities/shows where both parents and both sets of grandparents would come in and seat themselves together ,entirely in the front row. I figured it might have been fairer for some of the party to sit further back and let more kids get seen by at least one family member. You can't please everyone though, and YABU as the PTA do loads for the school fund-raising.

Original poster
pitapta · 06/12/2022 16:06

In light of some more recent comments: no refreshments, no checking in off parents etc. Ticketed event where we showed the headteacher our tickets as we entered the hall. Only thing provided was the seats we sat on and they were being put out by the site staff as we arrived. Definitely not the case that the PTA were busy helping with this event (which isn’t to say that they don’t do a great job at other events.)

OP posts:
Sirzy · 06/12/2022 16:06

PTA give up time to help the school.

in most schools PTA are running around helping sort things for the play until just before it starts. So if seats weren’t reserved they would be stuck at the back which hardly seems fair does it.

Original poster
pitapta · 06/12/2022 16:06

Excuse the typos!

OP posts:
Lemonlady22 · 06/12/2022 16:07

It’s always been the same. They should not have been using phones to take photos, that’s always been banned at my kids and grandkids schools.

melj1213 · 06/12/2022 16:07

Depends whether they were doing PTA stuff before/after the show or not. If they were helping before or after the show then it's not unreasonable for them to get reserved seating as a perk, if they were just getting reserved seats just because they were in the PTA and weren't actually doing any PTA activity then I think it's a bit unreasonable for them to claim the whole front row.

At my DDs primary the PTA would get reserved seats for performances/nativities etc but only because they would usually be doing activities pre-show, eg collecting tickets, directing people into the auditorium, manning a stall (eg drinks/cakes), handing out programmes/song sheets, helping with pre-show prep etc or sometimes they would have a PTA meeting between the end of the school day and before the show starts (eg school ended at 3.30 and the show was at 4.15 they'd have a quick 30 min meeting 3.40-4.10) so having reserved seating meant they weren't dashing in right before curtain up trying to find somewhere to sit.

user1471464218 · 06/12/2022 16:07

I wish my school did this. I'm on the PTA and give up lots of my time, but usually end up with crappy seats and/or missing the actual fun parts of the event because I'm helping out in some way, getting refreshments ready, cooking hot dogs, manning a stall etc etc

luxxlisbon · 06/12/2022 16:08

*Is this normal? I couldn’t believe it. Surely it’s first come, first served and the fact we’d been queuing in the cold for an hour meant we should get the seats we wanted?

The show was great; I know this is the important thing but I still feel really cross and like this is deeply unfair. I wanted to email the school but my DP thinks they’re label me as pathetic and ignore it anyway.

AIBU and should I say something?*

They do a lot of unpaid work through the school year, this is one tiny perk the school gives them. I really don’t get the big deal, you would be really ott to email the school about this.
If you care so much join the PYA and put the hours in yourself.

ShirleyPhallus · 06/12/2022 16:09

I’d love to think of the PTA literally waltzing in, good opener to the show IMO

PuttingDownRoots · 06/12/2022 16:09

Damn PTA, spending all that time raising money for the school and helping behind the scenes, then expecting one perk...

I volunteer with a children's organisation... you sound like the parent who complained volunteers kids got advanced notice on signing up for events that the parent was running!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 06/12/2022 16:09

Oh this takes me back! There used to be loads of threads about the PTA taking the front row years ago, but not for a good few years that I recall (even pre pandemic) so I thought this had generally stopped. Maybe it’s me though, and the threads were happening in 2019, but feels a long time ago.

Our school have never done this. I’m on the PTA, and wouldn’t expect this.

Y7drama · 06/12/2022 16:10

I think it’s fair enough the PTA get a perk in return for time spent fundraising. You could always join them!

weebarra · 06/12/2022 16:12

I wish! I give a lot of my time to the pta and we raise a lot of much needed money for the school. It would be nice to get a reserved seat at a school event.
I'm not being a martyr though, we all do it because it's important but it can feel a bit thankless, and our whole pta work either full or part time.
Phones and camera no though!