Front row seats for PTA

[pitapta]

I’ve name changed because a few people know my usual username on here and I’d rather not be linked to the following petty moaning…

I know there are bigger things to worry about at the moment BUT this has really left a bad taste in my mouth. I attended DD’s first ever school play this morning with my partner. She’s our PFB and this is the first time we’ve seen her in a school production so were really looking forward to it. I was told yesterday by a fellow parent that, although the play didn’t start for an hour, parents queued from drop off time so we wrapped up and joined the queue. We weren’t first but were three couples from the front of the queue. Waited in the freezing cold until doors opened at the start time only to be greeted by ‘reserved’ signs on the entire front row. Obviously didn’t know who these seats were reserved for so we dutifully took our seats on the second row before a bunch of the PTA waltzed in and took their front row seats. I had to ask two of them to lower their phones during the performance so I could actually see.

Is this normal? I couldn’t believe it. Surely it’s first come, first served and the fact we’d been queuing in the cold for an hour meant we should get the seats we wanted?

The show was great; I know this is the important thing but I still feel really cross and like this is deeply unfair. I wanted to email the school but my DP thinks they’re label me as pathetic and ignore it anyway.

AIBU and should I say something?

Totally wanky thing to do. I have had enough of PTAs who take themselves far too seriously. Also those who communicate the same message about 25 times. Tell people once, maybe twice, using as few words as possible. End of. We are all grown ups.

when my kids were at primary the PTA were just grateful of all the help we could get. I was secretary one year which meant I had to go into school on my day off to do photocopying etc. But other than that meetings tended to be evening time as were discos and the leavers dance, so I went to those. School Fayre was a Saturday. I couldn’t help with setup but did help at the Fayre.

you might even enjoy it OP. I made some good friends

It's actually a genius idea. Getting volunteers for the PTA is always an upwards slog because there is rarely an upside. An actual tangible benefit to giving up time on a series of largely thankless tasks is a famtastic recruitment tool...

Next they should let all the active PTA parents attend an exclusive lunch club where they get to dine with the HT in the dinner hall on the last Friday of the month. Or a 1:1 training session with the PE teacher before school starts. Priority entry (maybe a red carpet entrance) to the after school club. The possibilities are endless.

I would happily sit in the second row behind the entire PTA. Surely they deserve a few perks for all they do?

If I was a headteacher who needed people to volunteer for the PTA I would offer this deal too. It is an otherwise pretty thankful task often with other parents moaning about how you do things but not offering to help. They shouldn't be obstructing your view with their phones though.

I meant thankLESS task of course!

YABU. I'm the PTA chair at DS's primary school, it's an absolute pain in the arse. Using up annual leave (I work full time) to tramp around in the woods for an event, spending evenings sorting out accounts with the Charities Commission, persuading other parents to give up their own precious time for various school events... it's not fun!

I do it, though, because it pays for such a lot of extra-curricular stuff that would be unaffordable otherwise (like laptops for ESOL, sports equipment/coaching) and subsides whole-school events like the pantomime. It's genuinely enriching to the school community and makes a huge difference.

As it happens, we don't get reserved seats at the Nativity play, but I'd be pretty fucked off if someone like you complained because you feel that a single hour of queuing somehow outstrips the many, many thankless hours of volunteering the PTA puts in each year.

We didn’t get a front row seat at all events. A few things yes. Not at our child’s leavers ceremony for example.

You probably do need to commit some time to the PTA if you join it... 🙄

Of course PTA volunteers should get perks of their time and commitment like the front row. I'm glad you know you've been unreasonable.

Bit presumptuous, don't you think? Our PTA is strong in numbers, doesn't mean we don't work bloody hard and get sick of ignorant posters and parents like the OP.

I mean, seriously, what an unnecessary name. I wonder how much of a PITA she'll think her PTA is when she realises just how much of her little darling's school experience is possible because of fundraising? Check reality before opening gob.

YANBU about the phones, though, that's shit, and I'm glad you asked them to stop.

They give up lots of their spare time helping out the school and raising money for the children. In our school they do it for nothing. In your school they get a good view in the nativity. Why not help out and get a good view next year?

If I was on the PTA, I would expect perks too. Mind you even that would not entice me onto the PTA 😁

I’d bet good money most of the PTA were involved in stuff in the school before “waltzing in” and taking their seats.

At DD’s school the PTA had reserved seats because they were setting up the stage, helping the children into costumes, getting the children into the right places, doing running repairs, finding lost stars/donkey ears/tea towels, sorting and serving the refreshments and had even laid out all the seats for people to sit on. Since they can’t queue a reserved seat is hardly an excessive reward.

People bitch and moan about PTA’s, but having working in a school that ended up without one because of the Ht’s shitty attitude to them people really should be careful what they wish for. Many schools would be much poorer places without them.

Some of the strongest members of our PTA are in full time paid work as well, since you've asked. Email and let them know you want to help and if there is any work you can do behind the scenes which wouldn't require regular meeting attendance. Someone to buy school disco tuck is always appreciated, or design flyers for events. Wrapping tombola gifts. etc

Lots of valid points. I’m secondary SLT so I do appreciate the benefits of a PTA, maybe more than most!

My school doesn’t offer front row perks but maybe it’s a primary thing. It just didn’t feel fair… I was cold and miserable though so willing to accept my judgement may have been flawed.

I've sat in the front row next to the head as a governor and be glared at by other parents!!! It's a very small perk for the amount of hours I spend in school.
I'm also on the PTA and will be the one setting up events and clearing up afterwards while other parents spend all their time complaining.

Well OP, plenty of time to sign up for the PTA and put in the graft before next year.

We wouldn’t let this happen at our nativity.

We reserve seats for any parents who are also staff, for the dinner ladies from the kitchen who want to watch and for the lovely ladies who come in as volunteers to listen to children read but for parents it’s first come first served. We do try and give parents a heads up about what side of the stage their child is on so they can get as good a view as possible though.

You'd be genuinely amazed by how many grown-ups are unable to read and remember an email about something a couple of weeks away - failure to remind people always gets far, far more complaints than sending a couple of polite reminders. Even then there'll be some who manage to miss it. I have no idea how some people manage to live their lives!

It’ll be because they were sorting out snacks or whatever and it’s not fair they then have to sit at the back. honestly, it’s utterly thankless being in the PTA, don’t begrudge them this!

You are rude and it’s unnecessary. I have been a teacher for over a decade. First in a core subject and latterly an assistant head so I understand the benefits of a PTA. I have never come across this sense of entitlement to get something back though. The PTA at my own school don’t get any perks like this and although people are clearly in favour of them getting something back, after queueing this morning, it didn’t feel fair on the rest of us.

Now that I know, I won’t be surprised next time but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t disappointed!

And to answer your questions: most PTA volunteers have full time jobs and there’s usually a zoom option for meetings

Nope, just fed up with the way they speak about other parents that puts them off the whole idea.

and the amount of work they make for staff who have already done in excess of 50 hours that week

And here’s a little job to start you off, why not volunteer to sort, wash, iron, label and pack away any costumes that belong to the school, it’s a little job you can do at home so no worries about not having time for meetings, no childcare, a baby at home etc etc.