Front row seats for PTA

[pitapta]

I’ve name changed because a few people know my usual username on here and I’d rather not be linked to the following petty moaning…

I know there are bigger things to worry about at the moment BUT this has really left a bad taste in my mouth. I attended DD’s first ever school play this morning with my partner. She’s our PFB and this is the first time we’ve seen her in a school production so were really looking forward to it. I was told yesterday by a fellow parent that, although the play didn’t start for an hour, parents queued from drop off time so we wrapped up and joined the queue. We weren’t first but were three couples from the front of the queue. Waited in the freezing cold until doors opened at the start time only to be greeted by ‘reserved’ signs on the entire front row. Obviously didn’t know who these seats were reserved for so we dutifully took our seats on the second row before a bunch of the PTA waltzed in and took their front row seats. I had to ask two of them to lower their phones during the performance so I could actually see.

Is this normal? I couldn’t believe it. Surely it’s first come, first served and the fact we’d been queuing in the cold for an hour meant we should get the seats we wanted?

The show was great; I know this is the important thing but I still feel really cross and like this is deeply unfair. I wanted to email the school but my DP thinks they’re label me as pathetic and ignore it anyway.

AIBU and should I say something?

Happens everything the benefits of being in pta

I think its a bit rubbish. I was on the PTA and a Governor and would have never expected a front row seat but then I'm a sort of back row person.

Maybe it was payback for the hours they put in planning, running and clearing up after the summer fair, the Y6 leavers disco, the Y6 leavers sweatshirt and autograph book ordering , setting up sports day, the distribution of the harvest festival donations, the Halloween party, the lost property sales, the Easter egg hunt, the bake sales, organising the mince pies and mulled wine at the carol service, the end of year bbq…………

@pitapta

Lots of you seem to think this might be the case.

We don't. We have said that their overall contribution to the school community deserves a seat in a school production.

Never seen this, but it’s hardly a massive perk. The PTA is a thankless task. Happy for those parents to sit in the front row.

Perks for the PTA should absolutely be happening in all schools.

Its something people will have to get used to I think. As schools are more and more skint PTAs and other volunteers are going to become even more and more needed. As people will be struggling more themselves they’ll have to be incentivised into helping. Little things like reserved seats will be well worth it for schools if they get hours of help in return.

I'm liking the cut of the jib of the DP mentioned in the opening post.

Seems he's a reasonable, rational, grounded sort of dude.

Parents really shouldn’t need ‘payback’ for helping their own children’s school. The personal benefit they get comes from the social aspects of being involved and the knowledge that they are helping to provide for their own children and their school friends.

PTAs can be brilliant and a huge asset, but let’s not pretend that they’re selflessly doing the world a favour and therefore deserve perks over and above what any other involved and supportive parent deserves.

I have done play makeup before and by the time we are finished the seats are all taken... so now I make DH come early to save me a seat.

Went to a school event last night and teacher's child not only the only singing solo but teacher and her husband sat in front row - what do you do with that? Child is certainly given special treatment and when lessons don't suit her starts crying and walks out to go see her teacher parent.. Child is 13... Child is always given top marks in all effort grades.. Such a pile of bnllsh!t

Our school doesn’t do this but I think it should, I’m on the PTA and give endless hours to it every year, and then I’m always at the back of performances because I WFH FT so have to race up to school at the last minute. I would also accept a lottery of tickets so I at least had a chance of a better view, anything other than the bun fight at the door

I spent a few years on the PTA when DC were in primary and it was demanding, hugely time consuming and almost entirely unappreciated by other parents - as demonstrated by the OP.

That. And after almost every event that we'd spent a lot of time and often our own money to put on for the children's benefit, there'd be at least one parent who'd come and complain about something.

I did occasionally have a seat reserved for me because I was helping children get dressed for a school performance. I imagine that the same parents were the ones to complain about that, too.

If you want a reserved seat, join the PTA and give up a shitload of your own time, and be unappreciated too.

Our school has never done this but my immediate thought it they deserve a perk for the work they do.

Good to know you made such a difference to your child’s school with your hours of unselfish , unpaid, unrecognised and unthanked effort.

I can only answer for our school but in our PTA: yes you would absolutely be welcome to join even if you work full time and have no/unreliable evening childcare. We hold a mix of meetings during the school day and in the evenings to accommodate as many people as possible; we understand that some people can only attend a few meetings year. We understand that due to childcare some people might not know if they can attend until the last minute. Our evening meetings tend to be in the pub circa 8pm so you wouldn't be able to bring the children but if your partners not on shift you would be welcome. It doesn't matter in the slightest that you don't do pick up or drop off.

We find that parents who work full time often take some time off for events (like you did with the school play) so can often slip some volunteering in. We also have a couple of weekend events through the year.

Have you any idea how much work the pta do for the school and the hours they put in? You can guarantee that they did help in the background for weeks before.
You could always join and be on the front row next year

Absolutely very good point!
Reminders are appreciated but in my experience just this year (after around 8 years of kids in primary) - the reminders have become ludicrous.

I've been in the PTA for 2 schools, never got front row seats! It's usually a select group of "those" mum's, the ones whose kids are in every play, on every sports team and get every teacher award going. Get used to it OP, you'll see those same faces at the front of everything for the next 7 years

They give up their time to raise money for their school - sounds like a reasonable way to thank them.

You could volunteer too.

Same at our school.

The PTA give up a lot of their own time to put on events and fundraise for the school - more than you probably realise. I think it's a fair reward for that.

It's not a thing at my kids school. There's no major queues here, seats are all allocated on tickets so no queuing to get the front seats and no PTA at the front - front row is many TA's and teachers.

But I know it was at my primary school many years ago. My mother used to get annoyed but sometimes the PTA parents do a lot of hard work for the school so I honestly wouldn't lose sleep over it.

the only gripe I had with a PTA parent is once queuing for a school school disco, we were already there about 5 minutes before doors opened (we purposely got there early as DS has sen) she turned up to help (good on her) and that meant herself and her children could buzz their way in in front of everyone, again fine no problem. she walked in saying the whole 'excuse me excuse me we are allowed in because I'm part of the PTA and helping' in that smug arrogant look at me way 😂 and told her son he couldn't wait outside to go in with his friend because his mum wasn't helping. I was chuckling inside tbh 😅

It's material for the next motherland series. YANBU. I'm surprised they got their hand made glitter festooned egos through the door.

So just join the PTA if you think the perks are worth it.

Have you ever selflessly devoted your time to the PTA? It's bloomin' hard work and I'm very grateful for all that they do - both financially and in terms of the fun they bring the kids. Being chair of the PTA is almost a full-time job at my school, and it's almost always the mums with jobs who offer...

Good to know you made such a difference to your child’s school with your hours of unselfish , unpaid, unrecognised and unthanked effort.

I didn’t feel unrecognised and unthanked when I did PTA work in my own children’s school and now as a TA I work unpaid at plenty of PTA events and still don’t feel unrecognised and unthanked. We’re all very good at thanking and appreciating each other, from parent helpers to governors. Not all parents are appreciative when they probably should be, but it’s not about them, it’s about their children and all the others. The reward comes from them.

Do you mean they are parents of children in the play and also part of the pta? If so they deserve the front row, the amount of time they give up at events and the planning and organising that goes in for what is a thankless task, let them have front row! More people might volunteer for the pta if this is one of the perks!!

If they were random members of the pta who didn't have kids in the play well yanbu, I doubt this was the case though.

It is a bit sad queuing for front row seats anyway, a school hall is only about 20ft wide it isn't glasto, you can see wherever you sit 😆!